husband wants to keep baby and I don't

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one will ever be able to prove it wasn’t a miscarriage. It’s his word against hers. But I doubt he will really divorce her and if he does she will be ok and he will be the divorced dad. We all know how marginal that can be.

Now, OP will also have to lie.

Not to mention that it is illogical that they would divorce because the mom miscarried. How is that supposed to play out believably:

Mom miscarries in late Dec and in early Jan, Dad files for divorce, but he’s lying when he says she aborted my younger sibling?

People get divorced over miscarriages and over far less. Sad but true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP’s daughter is going to be seriously messed up when she finds out her family was wrecked because her mom insisted on aborting her sibling (especially over money when there’s no indication they are living hand to mouth).

No. Their DC is already at risk for having issues because her parents are not on the same page and haven't been.

It's not a sibling! Learn science.

Whatever mom decides she will do what's best for her and hopefully her family through her eyes.

Pro Choice not Pro Birth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I bet your child will love the baby. But having been in a similar situation, where my mom didn't want to have me, I suggest you go to therapy if you do decide to.keep the child.

If you only wanted one and no.more, why didn't you have your tubes tied when you had your first, instead of messing around with birth control? Something isn't adding up in this story.

Another option would be to have the baby, get tubes tied, get a divorce and give dad full custody of both children and you have visitation rights. That way you are done, and he gets to have the kids he wanted.

I asked to get my tubes tied after the birth of dd and the doctors wouldn't do it incase my husband wants more kids. We were both sitting there and said we were done and the doctor kept saying what if we change our minds. at the end we just decided to be very careful.

Hard to believe. I had mine done after DC#2 at a Catholic hospital and no one asked for DH’s permission.

In that middle of my c-section at Georgetown the dr asked me “hey, while we’re in here do you want your tubes tied?” So if they asked at GUH where there is a picture of the Pope on the wall I find it really hard to believe other places say no.

Yes this was my exact experience at Georgetown as well- took them up on it too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I bet your child will love the baby. But having been in a similar situation, where my mom didn't want to have me, I suggest you go to therapy if you do decide to.keep the child.

If you only wanted one and no.more, why didn't you have your tubes tied when you had your first, instead of messing around with birth control? Something isn't adding up in this story.

Another option would be to have the baby, get tubes tied, get a divorce and give dad full custody of both children and you have visitation rights. That way you are done, and he gets to have the kids he wanted.

I asked to get my tubes tied after the birth of dd and the doctors wouldn't do it incase my husband wants more kids. We were both sitting there and said we were done and the doctor kept saying what if we change our minds. at the end we just decided to be very careful.

Hard to believe. I had mine done after DC#2 at a Catholic hospital and no one asked for DH’s permission.

In that middle of my c-section at Georgetown the dr asked me “hey, while we’re in here do you want your tubes tied?” So if they asked at GUH where there is a picture of the Pope on the wall I find it really hard to believe other places say no.

Yes this was my exact experience at Georgetown as well- took them up on it too!

Well Holy Cross wouldn’t tie mine so I gave birth elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I bet your child will love the baby. But having been in a similar situation, where my mom didn't want to have me, I suggest you go to therapy if you do decide to.keep the child.

If you only wanted one and no.more, why didn't you have your tubes tied when you had your first, instead of messing around with birth control? Something isn't adding up in this story.

Another option would be to have the baby, get tubes tied, get a divorce and give dad full custody of both children and you have visitation rights. That way you are done, and he gets to have the kids he wanted.

I asked to get my tubes tied after the birth of dd and the doctors wouldn't do it incase my husband wants more kids. We were both sitting there and said we were done and the doctor kept saying what if we change our minds. at the end we just decided to be very careful.

Hard to believe. I had mine done after DC#2 at a Catholic hospital and no one asked for DH’s permission.

In that middle of my c-section at Georgetown the dr asked me “hey, while we’re in here do you want your tubes tied?” So if they asked at GUH where there is a picture of the Pope on the wall I find it really hard to believe other places say no.

Yes this was my exact experience at Georgetown as well- took them up on it too!

Interesting, I had to sign a bunch of paperwork pre-section to consent to mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I bet your child will love the baby. But having been in a similar situation, where my mom didn't want to have me, I suggest you go to therapy if you do decide to.keep the child.

If you only wanted one and no.more, why didn't you have your tubes tied when you had your first, instead of messing around with birth control? Something isn't adding up in this story.

Another option would be to have the baby, get tubes tied, get a divorce and give dad full custody of both children and you have visitation rights. That way you are done, and he gets to have the kids he wanted.

I asked to get my tubes tied after the birth of dd and the doctors wouldn't do it incase my husband wants more kids. We were both sitting there and said we were done and the doctor kept saying what if we change our minds. at the end we just decided to be very careful.

Hard to believe. I had mine done after DC#2 at a Catholic hospital and no one asked for DH’s permission.

In that middle of my c-section at Georgetown the dr asked me “hey, while we’re in here do you want your tubes tied?” So if they asked at GUH where there is a picture of the Pope on the wall I find it really hard to believe other places say no.

Yes this was my exact experience at Georgetown as well- took them up on it too!

Well Holy Cross wouldn’t tie mine so I gave birth elsewhere.

There’s inconsistency. HC did my Novasure, but it essentially makes pregnancy life threatening so you have to use BC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP’s daughter is going to be seriously messed up when she finds out her family was wrecked because her mom insisted on aborting her sibling (especially over money when there’s no indication they are living hand to mouth).

No. Their DC is already at risk for having issues because her parents are not on the same page and haven't been.

It's not a sibling! Learn science.

Whatever mom decides she will do what's best for her and hopefully her family through her eyes.

Pro Choice not Pro Birth.

Stop with the learn science crap. When life begins is a judicial decision with some scientific input so woman and men (with vaginas) can safely have an abortion and not go to jail. If a pregnant woman says she is carrying a child, who are you to say she isn’t?

[Anonymous]

Is he willing to carry the mental load that most mothers do?
Most likely not especially if it's a girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP’s daughter is going to be seriously messed up when she finds out her family was wrecked because her mom insisted on aborting her sibling (especially over money when there’s no indication they are living hand to mouth).

No. Their DC is already at risk for having issues because her parents are not on the same page and haven't been.

It's not a sibling! Learn science.

Whatever mom decides she will do what's best for her and hopefully her family through her eyes.

Pro Choice not Pro Birth.

Stop with the learn science crap. When life begins is a judicial decision with some scientific input so woman and men (with vaginas) can safely have an abortion and not go to jail. If a pregnant woman says she is carrying a child, who are you to say she isn’t?

Seriously, Biology look it up. It's a science.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am very much pro choice but, honestly, this is not a valid reason for termination.

NP. Not wanting to carry a baby, birth it, and spend 18 years raising it IS a valid reason for termination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get the abortion and say that you had a miscarriage. You certainly won't be the first. Also, I would promptly file for divorce, I don't take kindly to threats.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am very much pro choice but, honestly, this is not a valid reason for termination.

NP. Not wanting to carry a baby, birth it, and spend 18 years raising it IS a valid reason for termination.

IMO the question here isn't (or shouldn't be) whether OP should have the baby or not. She does not want to have it, so she shouldn't. The question is whether or not that qualifies as grounds to terminate her marriage, given that her husband does not agree with that decision. He wants the child and, whether or not the decision is ultimately his (it isn't), he still has feelings. He was the one who wanted the child they have now and clearly wants more. He wants something OP isn't capable/willing to give. That is her choice. It is also his choice to move on to someone else who will.

[Anonymous]

Have the abortion, then file for divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am very much pro choice but, honestly, this is not a valid reason for termination.

NP. Not wanting to carry a baby, birth it, and spend 18 years raising it IS a valid reason for termination.

+100 and OP not the first to make that decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get the abortion and say that you had a miscarriage. You certainly won't be the first. Also, I would promptly file for divorce, I don't take kindly to threats.

+1

+2