Upstairs is off-limits to guests

[Anonymous]

To the op & others- please reconsider hosting things at your house. If you have sensitivies about your house, please either state them to your guests or stop inventing folks over. To draw imaginary lines in the sand- then become offended (in silent) is nuts.
Just stop having folks over...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry if I’m at a dinner party and I have to poop, I’m not using the powder room. I’m going upstairs and getting some privacy.

So you'll invade your host's privacy so that you can have some privacy. Gotcha.

Yes. Thanks for playing! Don’t want the whole party listening to me poop or walking in after me.

So you'll leave a stench for the host to find when she goes upstairs to get her 3 year old ready for bed. Awesome.

The other alternative is that she’ll be in the bathroom for awhile and the next person will have to be “hopping around and grabbing like a toddler” because THEY have to go to the bathroom, and the second personnwillbjustvhave to go upstairs themselves.

Can anyone explain to me why someone would need to be in the bathroom for a long time pooping if they're desperate to poop and can't wait until they're back home to do it? Doesn't that mean it would come out quickly?

It doesn’t just fall out you know.

The PP implied that the person would be in there for a long time. If you need to push and push while reading a novel to get it out then I'm not sure why you'd need to do it right in the middle of a dinner party at someone else's home. And if it needs to come out right then and there, then okay, but I'm not sure why it would take so long that other people give up waiting for you and go in search of another bathroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the op & others- please reconsider hosting things at your house. If you have sensitivies about your house, please either state them to your guests or stop inventing folks over. To draw imaginary lines in the sand- then become offended (in silent) is nuts.
Just stop having folks over...

Allow me to state a "sensitivity" that I think must be shared by 99% of well adjusted people: please don't think you're welcome to go and poop in someone else's master bathroom unless you've been specifically told that you're welcome to use it.

[Anonymous]

But peeing in the master bathroom is ok??
Why not just be an adult and say- let’s stay down here- we have work stuff, napping kid, home construction whatever going on upstairs? Why can’t we just be adults?
Or- just keep opening your home to folks so you can judge them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But peeing in the master bathroom is ok??
Why not just be an adult and say- let’s stay down here- we have work stuff, napping kid, home construction whatever going on upstairs? Why can’t we just be adults?
Or- just keep opening your home to folks so you can judge them.

No, peeing in the master bathroom is not okay either. You should not be in there, period. But nobody has suggested that they are entitled to enter a private area of the house that has not been introduced to them in order to pee, just that they decided they were entitled to go in there to poop. For reasons unknown.

And yeah, if I saw someone wandering up to my bedroom then I'd certainly intercept them and ask them where they were going and let them know that the party is downstairs (or in the living area, etc). We shouldn't have to do that, though. If someone wants to go into a private area of the house that the host has not known to them and they believe they have good reason to do so then they should ASK and explain why and make sure it's okay with the people who actually own the house and live there. Unless of course the host has told them something like "make yourself at home, do whatever you want, my house is your house, etc". But I don't think many people say that to all of their guests when they host a dinner party.

And people don't need to have work stuff, construction work or a napping kid in their bedroom to not want non-invited people making themselves at home there quite literally whenever they get the urge.

Why can't people just be adults and stay where the other guests are when they're at an event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the op & others- please reconsider hosting things at your house. If you have sensitivies about your house, please either state them to your guests or stop inventing folks over. To draw imaginary lines in the sand- then become offended (in silent) is nuts.
Just stop having folks over...

1) Visit your boss's home for a dinner party or a holiday party. While you are there, go into his or her bedroom without asking. Use the bathroom, "check out the layout," or make a phone call. Do report back on their reaction.

2) If they seem offended, tell them "not to host in their fortress." Tell them to stop inviting people over if they are just going to draw imagingary lines in the sand and get offended.

3) Ask yourself why you would feel less free to enter into private spaces of a home without permission of someone in a poisition or power or greater wealth than you than you would in the home of a "peer" or someone whose home is not as grand as yours. Hmm. Think about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry if I’m at a dinner party and I have to poop, I’m not using the powder room. I’m going upstairs and getting some privacy.

OMG who ARE these people? That’s so disgusting that someone thinks they can go up into my bedroom and use my private master bath for a dump, when I invited them over for a nice dinner and provided a perfectly good bathroom (that I’m prepared to clean after the party) for their use. Unbelievable.

If your bowels are such an issue that you typically need to take a dump during a short event at someone’s house then please just decline the invitation.

Oh puhleez. If I am constipatedor have the runs I’m not using the powder room where everyone can hear/smell. You know you do the same.

I don’t go to a dinner party if I have the runs. And I look after my health so I’m not constipated. And if you’re constipated and it’s all stuck in there then it can stay stuck in there for another hour until you leave and get home to bless your own bathroom with it.

I’ve NEVER used a bathroom I wasn’t welcome to use at someone’s house. It’s beyond my imagination to be that rude.

Oh honey, Just keep thinking no one goes up to your master bathroom to poop.

So if you go upstairs to poop and everything is locked, what do you do then? Do you go home? Or use the guest bath that you've been asked to use?

And if the host intercepted you on the way up and asked you what you were doing, what would you say?

I know how to go use a bathroom surreptitiously. No one has ever caught me

Uh, no. No one has chosen to confront you. Big difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Miss Manners says if it bothers you, put locks on your doorknobs: https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/miss-manners-some-guests-think-off-limits-applies-to-others/2014/11/11/7e7fc4b0-669a-11e4-836c-83bc4f26eb67_story.html?utm_term=.7131b7172358

Not quite. She said lock the doors as a last resort. First, she said the writer was not wrong to view certain rooms as private. Second, she suggested that the writer try different methods of verbally telling the guests that certain spaces were off limits. Locking doors was a last resort for those who are too rude to realize private rooms exist and too dumb to understand when they are explained as much.

This. Thanks for playing, PP! You're the guest for whom people literally have to go to "the last resort." Congrats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry if I’m at a dinner party and I have to poop, I’m not using the powder room. I’m going upstairs and getting some privacy.

So you'll invade your host's privacy so that you can have some privacy. Gotcha.

Yes. Thanks for playing! Don’t want the whole party listening to me poop or walking in after me.

So you'll leave a stench for the host to find when she goes upstairs to get her 3 year old ready for bed. Awesome.

The other alternative is that she’ll be in the bathroom for awhile and the next person will have to be “hopping around and grabbing like a toddler” because THEY have to go to the bathroom, and the second personnwillbjustvhave to go upstairs themselves.

Can anyone explain to me why someone would need to be in the bathroom for a long time pooping if they're desperate to poop and can't wait until they're back home to do it? Doesn't that mean it would come out quickly?

It doesn’t just fall out you know.

Awesome. I'll bet that if you clog the master bathroom toilet you leave that mess for your host to find and blame your host for having such a poorly functioning toilet - they should have warned you, right? Maybe it gives you the excuse to open cabinets, closets and drawers in the search for room spray....

Stop wandering into rooms that your host has not given you permission to enter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Miss Manners says if it bothers you, put locks on your doorknobs: https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/miss-manners-some-guests-think-off-limits-applies-to-others/2014/11/11/7e7fc4b0-669a-11e4-836c-83bc4f26eb67_story.html?utm_term=.7131b7172358

Not quite. She said lock the doors as a last resort. First, she said the writer was not wrong to view certain rooms as private. Second, she suggested that the writer try different methods of verbally telling the guests that certain spaces were off limits. Locking doors was a last resort for those who are too rude to realize private rooms exist and too dumb to understand when they are explained as much.

This. Thanks for playing, PP! You're the guest for whom people literally have to go to "the last resort." Congrats.

I guess we shouldn’t be surprised that someone who misunderstands such basic social rules like that you shouldn’t make yourself at home in someone else’s bedroom when they don’t want you there would also misunderstand an article.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry if I’m at a dinner party and I have to poop, I’m not using the powder room. I’m going upstairs and getting some privacy.

What kind of animal poops at a party? Sweet mother of Jesus! Get control of yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Miss Manners says if it bothers you, put locks on your doorknobs: https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/miss-manners-some-guests-think-off-limits-applies-to-others/2014/11/11/7e7fc4b0-669a-11e4-836c-83bc4f26eb67_story.html?utm_term=.7131b7172358

But...but...how can that be? My way is the only way that involves acceptable manners! No one is allowed to feel differently about how to manage their own upstairs.

NP here. Ooh, SUCH a cute try. Too bad Miss Manners agreed with the reader who posed the question: am I wrong to think people should respect my wishes on privacy and boundaries in my own home.

Miss Manners literally starts her response with: Gentle Reader, you are not wrong.

[Anonymous]

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/455425.page

My cousin did this. I haven’t invited her back since, it’s rude as hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the op & others- please reconsider hosting things at your house. If you have sensitivies about your house, please either state them to your guests or stop inventing folks over. To draw imaginary lines in the sand- then become offended (in silent) is nuts.
Just stop having folks over...

Allow me to state a "sensitivity" that I think must be shared by 99% of well adjusted people: please don't think you're welcome to go and poop in someone else's master bathroom unless you've been specifically told that you're welcome to use it.

Sorry not sorry. If I have to poop or get the runs, I’m not using the powder room. I am going to use the most private bathroom available which is the master bath.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the op & others- please reconsider hosting things at your house. If you have sensitivies about your house, please either state them to your guests or stop inventing folks over. To draw imaginary lines in the sand- then become offended (in silent) is nuts.
Just stop having folks over...

Allow me to state a "sensitivity" that I think must be shared by 99% of well adjusted people: please don't think you're welcome to go and poop in someone else's master bathroom unless you've been specifically told that you're welcome to use it.

Sorry not sorry. If I have to poop or get the runs, I’m not using the powder room. I am going to use the most private bathroom available which is the master bath.

And if you enter my house I will be sure to padlock my master bedroom door. Sorry not sorry.