Upstairs is off-limits to guests

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Pooper Snooper is off the list. Buh-bye!

Seriously. If someone EVER did this in my house, I'd never invite them back. I would consider them a really unmannered person who crosses boundaries.

I’m actually starting to waver on this. If it WAS my mom or sister, I wouldn’t care.

Yes, but they are your mom or your sister. So, that does not count as crossing boundaries, b/c there is less of a boundary b/c our close relatives and ourselves.

Agree on this, except if you have a very strained relationship or something. Otherwise of course there are exceptions for mom, sister, dad, etc. But that’s not what the diarrhea lady is talking about.

But the OP and her gang are adamant that family also cannot use the upstairs bathrooms.

Even family shouldn't be going into private rooms w/o asking or being invited in. Grown adult children/siblings should have the right to a certain amount of personal privacy in their own homes.

That's your opinion. I would think it's the height of rudeness to tell my mother that she can't enter my upstairs without being invited in. But your family operates differently.

+1 Pretty cold to act that way to someone whose belly you once inhabited.

Seriously! OP would embarrass her mom or dad by forcing them to use the powder room if they needed to use a more private bathroom! What’s wrong with you?!?!

Ideally mom or dad would have talked to Op before the party and explained that they might need access to another bathroom. I'm sure Op would have accommodated them with the use of another bathroom in the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Pooper Snooper is off the list. Buh-bye!

Seriously. If someone EVER did this in my house, I'd never invite them back. I would consider them a really unmannered person who crosses boundaries.

I’m actually starting to waver on this. If it WAS my mom or sister, I wouldn’t care.

Yes, but they are your mom or your sister. So, that does not count as crossing boundaries, b/c there is less of a boundary b/c our close relatives and ourselves.

Agree on this, except if you have a very strained relationship or something. Otherwise of course there are exceptions for mom, sister, dad, etc. But that’s not what the diarrhea lady is talking about.

But the OP and her gang are adamant that family also cannot use the upstairs bathrooms.

Even family shouldn't be going into private rooms w/o asking or being invited in. Grown adult children/siblings should have the right to a certain amount of personal privacy in their own homes.

That's your opinion. I would think it's the height of rudeness to tell my mother that she can't enter my upstairs without being invited in. But your family operates differently.

+1 Pretty cold to act that way to someone whose belly you once inhabited.

My mom isn't a busy body nor does is she a pooper snooper so she really has no need to go into the bedroom that I share with my husband. And, besides, doesn't my dh deserve to have a sense of privacy in his own bedroom? My mother would never intrude on his (or my) personal space like that.

We have a nice guest room with attached private bathroom so there is pretty much no need for a relative staying at our house to ever go into our master bedroom/bath. Family coming over for dinner or a visit also have access to a perfectly good bathroom. I can't imagine my brother or sister wandering into my bedroom to look for something or use my things w/o asking first. They've been in my home and I've been in their home and we simply do not invade each other's privacy like that.

It would drive me nuts to have such an intrusive relative, wandering in/out of my bedroom and master bathroom. I'm surprised that your spouses put up with that nonsense.

And I'm surprised that a household would put so many restrictions on close family members. Bottom line: families are different. Insisting your way is the only way is pretty dumb.

This. I don't restrict my mother or siblings in my house. But clearly others do.

You allow your mil, fil, bil, sil and nieces/nephews to wander in and out of your master bedroom and bath too? Or does that only apply to your family?

What about your husband's good friend Barney or his buddy Harold down the street. Are they allowed to roam at will around your bedroom, too?

Yup, my in-laws have free reign. I love my in-laws and trust them. Your family is different. I know that is shocking to you that not everyone thinks the same way that you do.

Nope. I like my FIL but I don't need him wandering in/out of my bedroom. Nor would he ever do such a thing. Ever.

[Anonymous]

Last time I had a party, I put a sign on the downstairs bath door that said, “more bathrooms upstairs!” And I didn’t bother to check if people pooped or snooped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Pooper Snooper is off the list. Buh-bye!

Seriously. If someone EVER did this in my house, I'd never invite them back. I would consider them a really unmannered person who crosses boundaries.

I’m actually starting to waver on this. If it WAS my mom or sister, I wouldn’t care.

Yes, but they are your mom or your sister. So, that does not count as crossing boundaries, b/c there is less of a boundary b/c our close relatives and ourselves.

Agree on this, except if you have a very strained relationship or something. Otherwise of course there are exceptions for mom, sister, dad, etc. But that’s not what the diarrhea lady is talking about.

But the OP and her gang are adamant that family also cannot use the upstairs bathrooms.

Even family shouldn't be going into private rooms w/o asking or being invited in. Grown adult children/siblings should have the right to a certain amount of personal privacy in their own homes.

That's your opinion. I would think it's the height of rudeness to tell my mother that she can't enter my upstairs without being invited in. But your family operates differently.

+1 Pretty cold to act that way to someone whose belly you once inhabited.

Seriously! OP would embarrass her mom or dad by forcing them to use the powder room if they needed to use a more private bathroom! What’s wrong with you?!?!

Ideally mom or dad would have talked to Op before the party and explained that they might need access to another bathroom. I'm sure Op would have accommodated them with the use of another bathroom in the house.

Yes let’s make our parents embarrassed and jump through hoops to use a bathroom at their child’s home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Pooper Snooper is off the list. Buh-bye!

Seriously. If someone EVER did this in my house, I'd never invite them back. I would consider them a really unmannered person who crosses boundaries.

I’m actually starting to waver on this. If it WAS my mom or sister, I wouldn’t care.

Yes, but they are your mom or your sister. So, that does not count as crossing boundaries, b/c there is less of a boundary b/c our close relatives and ourselves.

Agree on this, except if you have a very strained relationship or something. Otherwise of course there are exceptions for mom, sister, dad, etc. But that’s not what the diarrhea lady is talking about.

But the OP and her gang are adamant that family also cannot use the upstairs bathrooms.

Even family shouldn't be going into private rooms w/o asking or being invited in. Grown adult children/siblings should have the right to a certain amount of personal privacy in their own homes.

That's your opinion. I would think it's the height of rudeness to tell my mother that she can't enter my upstairs without being invited in. But your family operates differently.

+1 Pretty cold to act that way to someone whose belly you once inhabited.

My mom isn't a busy body nor does is she a pooper snooper so she really has no need to go into the bedroom that I share with my husband. And, besides, doesn't my dh deserve to have a sense of privacy in his own bedroom? My mother would never intrude on his (or my) personal space like that.

We have a nice guest room with attached private bathroom so there is pretty much no need for a relative staying at our house to ever go into our master bedroom/bath. Family coming over for dinner or a visit also have access to a perfectly good bathroom. I can't imagine my brother or sister wandering into my bedroom to look for something or use my things w/o asking first. They've been in my home and I've been in their home and we simply do not invade each other's privacy like that.

It would drive me nuts to have such an intrusive relative, wandering in/out of my bedroom and master bathroom. I'm surprised that your spouses put up with that nonsense.

And I'm surprised that a household would put so many restrictions on close family members. Bottom line: families are different. Insisting your way is the only way is pretty dumb.

This. I don't restrict my mother or siblings in my house. But clearly others do.

You allow your mil, fil, bil, sil and nieces/nephews to wander in and out of your master bedroom and bath too? Or does that only apply to your family?

What about your husband's good friend Barney or his buddy Harold down the street. Are they allowed to roam at will around your bedroom, too?

Yup, my in-laws have free reign. I love my in-laws and trust them. Your family is different. I know that is shocking to you that not everyone thinks the same way that you do.

You and the PPs like you are the ones who are acting like there is something wrong with people who want privacy in their own room.

The point of this ENTIRE THREAD is that some people do not want others in certain areas of their house, that they view some areas as private. They do not want guest going in there. This is fine. They are NOT telling you what to do in your OWN home, they are asking you to behave with some common sense and basic manners while in theirs, which is perfectly reasonable.

You are the one who is being abrasive and condescending. You are the ones attacking them for wanting to do something different than what you do. Do what you like in your own home. No one cares! Just be a good guest and stay out of private areas of other people's homes unless they expressly invite you to go in there. Basic manners, people.

Why is this so hard for you??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Pooper Snooper is off the list. Buh-bye!

Seriously. If someone EVER did this in my house, I'd never invite them back. I would consider them a really unmannered person who crosses boundaries.

I’m actually starting to waver on this. If it WAS my mom or sister, I wouldn’t care.

Yes, but they are your mom or your sister. So, that does not count as crossing boundaries, b/c there is less of a boundary b/c our close relatives and ourselves.

Agree on this, except if you have a very strained relationship or something. Otherwise of course there are exceptions for mom, sister, dad, etc. But that’s not what the diarrhea lady is talking about.

But the OP and her gang are adamant that family also cannot use the upstairs bathrooms.

Even family shouldn't be going into private rooms w/o asking or being invited in. Grown adult children/siblings should have the right to a certain amount of personal privacy in their own homes.

That's your opinion. I would think it's the height of rudeness to tell my mother that she can't enter my upstairs without being invited in. But your family operates differently.

+1 Pretty cold to act that way to someone whose belly you once inhabited.

My mom isn't a busy body nor does is she a pooper snooper so she really has no need to go into the bedroom that I share with my husband. And, besides, doesn't my dh deserve to have a sense of privacy in his own bedroom? My mother would never intrude on his (or my) personal space like that.

We have a nice guest room with attached private bathroom so there is pretty much no need for a relative staying at our house to ever go into our master bedroom/bath. Family coming over for dinner or a visit also have access to a perfectly good bathroom. I can't imagine my brother or sister wandering into my bedroom to look for something or use my things w/o asking first. They've been in my home and I've been in their home and we simply do not invade each other's privacy like that.

It would drive me nuts to have such an intrusive relative, wandering in/out of my bedroom and master bathroom. I'm surprised that your spouses put up with that nonsense.

And I'm surprised that a household would put so many restrictions on close family members. Bottom line: families are different. Insisting your way is the only way is pretty dumb.

This. I don't restrict my mother or siblings in my house. But clearly others do.

You allow your mil, fil, bil, sil and nieces/nephews to wander in and out of your master bedroom and bath too? Or does that only apply to your family?

What about your husband's good friend Barney or his buddy Harold down the street. Are they allowed to roam at will around your bedroom, too?

Yup, my in-laws have free reign. I love my in-laws and trust them. Your family is different. I know that is shocking to you that not everyone thinks the same way that you do.

You and the PPs like you are the ones who are acting like there is something wrong with people who want privacy in their own room.

The point of this ENTIRE THREAD is that some people do not want others in certain areas of their house, that they view some areas as private. They do not want guest going in there. This is fine. They are NOT telling you what to do in your OWN home, they are asking you to behave with some common sense and basic manners while in theirs, which is perfectly reasonable.

You are the one who is being abrasive and condescending. You are the ones attacking them for wanting to do something different than what you do. Do what you like in your own home. No one cares! Just be a good guest and stay out of private areas of other people's homes unless they expressly invite you to go in there. Basic manners, people.

Why is this so hard for you??

It’s amazing that they seem to genuinely think they’re entitled to maximum “privacy” in someone else’s house when doing so steals privacy from the unsuspecting homeowner.

It’s pretty much the definition of entitlement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The Pooper Snooper is off the list. Buh-bye!

Seriously. If someone EVER did this in my house, I'd never invite them back. I would consider them a really unmannered person who crosses boundaries.

I’m actually starting to waver on this. If it WAS my mom or sister, I wouldn’t care.

Yes, but they are your mom or your sister. So, that does not count as crossing boundaries, b/c there is less of a boundary b/c our close relatives and ourselves.

Agree on this, except if you have a very strained relationship or something. Otherwise of course there are exceptions for mom, sister, dad, etc. But that’s not what the diarrhea lady is talking about.

But the OP and her gang are adamant that family also cannot use the upstairs bathrooms.

Even family shouldn't be going into private rooms w/o asking or being invited in. Grown adult children/siblings should have the right to a certain amount of personal privacy in their own homes.

That's your opinion. I would think it's the height of rudeness to tell my mother that she can't enter my upstairs without being invited in. But your family operates differently.

+1 Pretty cold to act that way to someone whose belly you once inhabited.

My mom isn't a busy body nor does is she a pooper snooper so she really has no need to go into the bedroom that I share with my husband. And, besides, doesn't my dh deserve to have a sense of privacy in his own bedroom? My mother would never intrude on his (or my) personal space like that.

We have a nice guest room with attached private bathroom so there is pretty much no need for a relative staying at our house to ever go into our master bedroom/bath. Family coming over for dinner or a visit also have access to a perfectly good bathroom. I can't imagine my brother or sister wandering into my bedroom to look for something or use my things w/o asking first. They've been in my home and I've been in their home and we simply do not invade each other's privacy like that.

It would drive me nuts to have such an intrusive relative, wandering in/out of my bedroom and master bathroom. I'm surprised that your spouses put up with that nonsense.

And I'm surprised that a household would put so many restrictions on close family members. Bottom line: families are different. Insisting your way is the only way is pretty dumb.

This. I don't restrict my mother or siblings in my house. But clearly others do.

You allow your mil, fil, bil, sil and nieces/nephews to wander in and out of your master bedroom and bath too? Or does that only apply to your family?

What about your husband's good friend Barney or his buddy Harold down the street. Are they allowed to roam at will around your bedroom, too?

Yup, my in-laws have free reign. I love my in-laws and trust them. Your family is different. I know that is shocking to you that not everyone thinks the same way that you do.

You and the PPs like you are the ones who are acting like there is something wrong with people who want privacy in their own room.

The point of this ENTIRE THREAD is that some people do not want others in certain areas of their house, that they view some areas as private. They do not want guest going in there. This is fine. They are NOT telling you what to do in your OWN home, they are asking you to behave with some common sense and basic manners while in theirs, which is perfectly reasonable.

You are the one who is being abrasive and condescending. You are the ones attacking them for wanting to do something different than what you do. Do what you like in your own home. No one cares! Just be a good guest and stay out of private areas of other people's homes unless they expressly invite you to go in there. Basic manners, people.

Why is this so hard for you??

+1. Exactly this.

Clearly, after nearly 50 pages of debate, it should be obvious to both "sides" that there is another side.

If you consider some areas in your home to be private, and want guests to ask before entering, or to stay out...that's fine.
If you consider all spaces within your home to be accessible for guests, that's fine, too.

When entering someone else's home, at least for the first time, you'd better be damn sure about how your hosts feel on this topic. The only way to 100% know if it is OK to enter private spaces in your host's home is to ASK. Otherwise, you risk offending your host. Ask the first time, get the lay of the land.