
Maybe because they’re people you love enough to have stay over at your house? Make the case for putting up an invisible wall to them. Your “stuff” isn’t as sacred and amazing as you think it should be. If my guests want to see the books, art, shower curtain, what have you, they may. People are interested in how others decorate and interested in home layouts. That’s not an issue to me. Put your Valtrex prescription in your underwear drawer and get on with life. You’re irrationally angry and offended by this topic. |
PP here—I like spending time with my guests. If I don’t like them, I don’t invite them to stay in my home. My home is not a hotel. Us staying under one roof allows us to come and go and interact informally. My guests don’t stay for weeks and I don’t see them very often. I’m not offended if you want to stay in a hotel or want to have your own space in my home but I also don’t care if you walk in on me blow drying my hair. |
The only scenarios I have seen where I would give it a pass is a large party and the downstairs bathrooms are all in use. I have seen people venture upstairs looking for a bathroom and don’t think this is out of bounds. Sometimes you gotta go. Or frankly, someone isn’t feeling well or needs to do a #2 and is trying to be discreet.
As for overnight guests, I think this is a case of mis-matched levels of perceived intimacy. The guest thinks they are very close with you. Obviously you don’t feel the same. I think this with happens with parents and adult children. To them, we are still their kids and everything is in bounds. But some adult children, we want boundaries. Just deal with it upfront. “Hi everyone, upstairs is off limits! If you need anything, please ask.” |
Your husband found a keeper OP. |
This is really rude. I hope you don’t actually say this. |
They are more than welcome into my private space if they a-s-k. Manners. |
Fine for overnight guests. Also fine for family and good friends whenever. Not okay for people who are invited for social events but whom who you don’t know well. |
Yes it's rude to tell people upstairs is off limits and rude to wander around people's private rooms
My house is small enough that our upstairs is just 3 BR and 1 BA so no reason to ever go up unless our other bathroom is occupied |
Beyond rude. I’d never come back. Not that I’d necessarily want to go upstairs, but saying this? You’re a grade A a-hole. |
+1. No good reason not to ask. None. Mayyyyybe at a house party with occupied main floor bathroom, but even then, just quietly ask your host! |
If not being sent to get a toy in the kid’s room or a blanket from the linen closet or something, then I agree there is no need for a visitor to be there and likely they are just being nosy. Keep all the doors closed which sends a message that this is not public wandering space. |
Team OP here when it comes to non-overnight guests. The bedroom level of a home is private space, and you have no need to go up there. I don't expect people to go up there, nor would I dream of doing that at someone else's home. You are invited into the public areas, not private ones. I have been friends with people for decades and haven't seen the private sections of their homes. I wouldn't expect to. |
I once lived in a beautiful home and guests would ask for a tour. It made me uncomfortable. |
+1. The idea of chasing after a host who has retreated for some afternoon quiet time or bed for the night is appalling. |
I am very much a “mi class, su casa” type and appreciate when guests make themselves at home so I am not having to think through all the things to make them comfortable. But, I do understand that my style is different so I try not to overstep when a guest at someone else’s. But I am sure you can see how these are two conflicting styles can cause issues if you are the type of person who likes to maintain a lot of control. In which case, you should just not open your home to guests, in my opinion. |