Sexless Marriages

[Anonymous]

This Is What It's Really Like To Be In A Sexless Marriage http://a.msn.com/0E/en-us/BBlVBVL?ocid=se

[Anonymous]

Yup. Sounds about right.

-- No sex is 3 1/2 years.

[Anonymous]

Sad.
Lots of rationalizing going on there.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Very sad.

[Anonymous]

The article right below it is very informative too, on why "just do it" what you're not in the mood is counterproductive.

[Anonymous]

That's sad. The writer sounds sad too even as she writes that things are okay.

[Anonymous]

OMG. That woman is me. Except I'm only 7 years into marriage but coming up on 2 years without sex.

But the sentiments about my husband and the overall great level of partnership (and co-parenting) other than our sex life are dead on.

It's pretty freaking miserable. And she's also totally right about the emotional impact of this on someone in her 40's.

[Anonymous]

Yup. Married 11 years and in the beginning we tried to schedule sex every few weeks cause it didn't happen spontaneously. But within a few years we settled into a biannual cadence. Sometimes it makes me deeply sad, but most of the time I just feel thankful that he's a great father and a drama free partner. Not sure I'd stay if not for our son and his stability. We love each other but more like you love family and not like a lover.

[Anonymous]

This is me too. Going on three years. Love him but sometimes I wonder what passed me by.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like had passionate sex with a bunch of alphas then picked a beta she wasn't attracted to when she decided it was time to settle down.

[Anonymous]

My heart breaks for the author. She say she is happy, but I honestly can't imagine it. I am higher libido than DW and when we go stretches without sex, I feel our whole marriage coming apart. Even though we are a great team in EVERY other respect, the lack of sex overrides the good. And when I say stretches without sex, I mean 3-4 weeks. If months went by I would address it or likely divorce.

Question for women - what does your man say? I understand not all men are high drive, but as a man surely he understands the importance of sex. Besides the obvious feelings of unattractive and rejection, doesn't the lack of sex have a physical reaction? Does your husband masturbate?

You all have my empathy. Sex is a necessary aspect of physical and mental health. And a necessary part of a healthy marriage.

[Anonymous]

"When we got married, we were doing it at least once a month, sometimes more."

That's nuts. Or rather, not normal. But, if it's good for them, fine.

[Anonymous]

This resonates with me.

I married a really, really great guy. But our two young kids have zapped us and we are struggling to get on the same page intimately. For me (a DW) I just want an easy romp. DH wants the foreplay, which is I find is too much pressure.

We had a 18 month drought, but now it's every few months.

[Anonymous]

This is us right now. Two years of unsuccessful infertility treatments have squelched all desire. Not sure how to recover.

[Anonymous]

My wife is the low drive partner in our relationship. It took us years to bridge our different views in the bedroom. Honestly, me getting older and my drive slowing down has helped, also, having higher quality sex when we do have sex helps as well.

We always schedule sex on Sundays. During the week, I know that I need to ask her for sex a day ahead of time. She'll reject me the first night but will usually go on the second night.

So, I'm happy. Twice a week on average of good sex is nothing to complain about. It took us years to get here though. I do everything I can to keep it going - make sure no resentment is building up in the relationship, do nice things for her, stay extremely fit and as attractive as possible and I make sure the sex is good for her as well.

I do a lot of work outside the bedroom for those two times a week!