Sexless Marriages

[Anonymous]

I admire all of you. After almost 7 years of a low sex marriage, I went outside. Not the best choice morally but I'm so much happier and our relationship dynamic is much better. He feels so much less pressure now.

In our case, though, he's tiny and it's plain bad, as well as infrequent, so not quite the same as just low or no sex.

[Anonymous]

Alot of the blame goes to her. If what turns her on is a rock star or alcoholic drama guy, don't marry the nurturing soccer coach with the dad jeans. He is never going to turn you on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I admire all of you. After almost 7 years of a low sex marriage, I went outside. Not the best choice morally but I'm so much happier and our relationship dynamic is much better. He feels so much less pressure now.

In our case, though, he's tiny and it's plain bad, as well as infrequent, so not quite the same as just low or no sex.

Is he aware that you're fulfilling your needs outside of the marriage? If so, how does he feel about that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Alot of the blame goes to her. If what turns her on is a rock star or alcoholic drama guy, don't marry the nurturing soccer coach with the dad jeans. He is never going to turn you on.

Please don't make this one of those bitter blame threads. I'm sure there's plenty to go around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I admire all of you. After almost 7 years of a low sex marriage, I went outside. Not the best choice morally but I'm so much happier and our relationship dynamic is much better. He feels so much less pressure now.

In our case, though, he's tiny and it's plain bad, as well as infrequent, so not quite the same as just low or no sex.

Is he aware that you're fulfilling your needs outside of the marriage? If so, how does he feel about that?

This. And is the your new guy much larger?

[Anonymous]

I wonder how many childless marriages are sexless. After reading many sexless marriage posts on DCUM over the years, they seem to relate mostly to parents with young kids. Or at least the sexless marriage started after having kids.

I am frankly surprised that any marriages survives having kids. While kids are wonderful, they really can be assholes. They zap all your energy. Life if tough with them when they are little.

Any sexless marriages for partners without kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I admire all of you. After almost 7 years of a low sex marriage, I went outside. Not the best choice morally but I'm so much happier and our relationship dynamic is much better. He feels so much less pressure now.

In our case, though, he's tiny and it's plain bad, as well as infrequent, so not quite the same as just low or no sex.

Is he aware that you're fulfilling your needs outside of the marriage? If so, how does he feel about that?

This. And is the your new guy much larger?

LOL! I wondered the same thing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Alot of the blame goes to her. If what turns her on is a rock star or alcoholic drama guy, don't marry the nurturing soccer coach with the dad jeans. He is never going to turn you on.

Please don't make this one of those bitter blame threads. I'm sure there's plenty to go around.

In the scenario described here, the problem is squarely on the woman who seeks drama. She's the one that wants incompatible things. Don't mess up the life of the spouse who can continue to want sex from a stable, kind partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I am frankly surprised that any marriages survives having kids. While kids are wonderful, they really can be assholes. They zap all your energy. Life if tough with them when they are little.

Kids can be jerks. And they're kind of stupid.

[Anonymous]

I'm in a sexless marriage without children...years of infertility and now there is no desire. Same story as a previous poster, not sure how to recover. It is sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in a sexless marriage without children...years of infertility and now there is no desire. Same story as a previous poster, not sure how to recover. It is sad.

we adopted and sex life came back.

[Anonymous]

DW here going on 4 years of no sex with DH. Found an AP and am much happier. DH knows, but we don't discuss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DW here going on 4 years of no sex with DH. Found an AP and am much happier. DH knows, but we don't discuss.

why so you stay with DH? do you love him?

[Anonymous]

What is an "AP"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DW here going on 4 years of no sex with DH. Found an AP and am much happier. DH knows, but we don't discuss.

why so you stay with DH? do you love him?

I actually think this is okay. For me, the most heartbreaking part of finding out my spouse was cheating was the complete breakdown of trust. I know that isn't everyone's story, but things would have been different without the breach of trust. Hope it works out for both of you in the long run.