Sexless Marriages

[Anonymous]

AP = affair partner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DW here going on 4 years of no sex with DH. Found an AP and am much happier. DH knows, but we don't discuss.

How do you not fall for the ap? How did you meet him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I admire all of you. After almost 7 years of a low sex marriage, I went outside. Not the best choice morally but I'm so much happier and our relationship dynamic is much better. He feels so much less pressure now.

In our case, though, he's tiny and it's plain bad, as well as infrequent, so not quite the same as just low or no sex.

Is he aware that you're fulfilling your needs outside of the marriage? If so, how does he feel about that?

No, he's not aware. He is visibly relieved that I'm not pestering him multiple times a week for sex, and I am clearly much more content than I was in the beginning of the marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I admire all of you. After almost 7 years of a low sex marriage, I went outside. Not the best choice morally but I'm so much happier and our relationship dynamic is much better. He feels so much less pressure now.

In our case, though, he's tiny and it's plain bad, as well as infrequent, so not quite the same as just low or no sex.

Is he aware that you're fulfilling your needs outside of the marriage? If so, how does he feel about that?

This. And is the your new guy much larger?

Yes. Larger, better and just more intuitive. Don't want to be married to him but the sex is great and I do like him as a person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If months went by I would address it or likely divorce.
.

Over no sex? Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If months went by I would address it or likely divorce.
.

Over no sex? Wow.

I am really surprised people don't address it. I am higher drive than my DW, and I absolutely address it if we go more than 2 weeks. It is a source of tension. I am not judging those who slide into a sexless marriage, I get it. But yes, I would address it and divorce if I wasn't having sex with my DW. Or ask for an open marriage. YMMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If months went by I would address it or likely divorce.
.

Over no sex? Wow.

I am really surprised people don't address it. I am higher drive than my DW, and I absolutely address it if we go more than 2 weeks. It is a source of tension. I am not judging those who slide into a sexless marriage, I get it. But yes, I would address it and divorce if I wasn't having sex with my DW. Or ask for an open marriage. YMMV.

+1

Sex is important. DW and I communicate a lot.

[Anonymous]

What is bothersome about that article is the fact that she's resigned to NEVER having sex again. That sounds awful!

I have four children 5 and under. Neither one of us feels like doing much besides sleeping, and there have been months-long sex droughts. But I am 100% positive that our sex life will come back once the baby is sleeping better. We've talked about it, we both want it, and it will happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If months went by I would address it or likely divorce.
.

Over no sex? Wow.

I am really surprised people don't address it. I am higher drive than my DW, and I absolutely address it if we go more than 2 weeks. It is a source of tension. I am not judging those who slide into a sexless marriage, I get it. But yes, I would address it and divorce if I wasn't having sex with my DW. Or ask for an open marriage. YMMV.

I guess some of us just have different standards.

And yes, I have sex with my husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I admire all of you. After almost 7 years of a low sex marriage, I went outside. Not the best choice morally but I'm so much happier and our relationship dynamic is much better. He feels so much less pressure now.

In our case, though, he's tiny and it's plain bad, as well as infrequent, so not quite the same as just low or no sex.

Is he aware that you're fulfilling your needs outside of the marriage? If so, how does he feel about that?

This. And is the your new guy much larger?

Yes. Larger, better and just more intuitive. Don't want to be married to him but the sex is great and I do like him as a person.

What was it like going from one extreme to the other size wise? Was it painful or a relief?

[Anonymous]

My DW hasn't had sex since our child was born about 4-5 years ago. When we discuss it in the abstract she's open to having sex , but every time the opportunity comes up she has 1 of multiple excuses ready to go. She never had sex before marriage and always claimed it was due to her religious beliefs. I loved her and accepted that, but after marriage it became clear there are other issues at hand -- perhaps just an extremely low labido. I love her as a partner, but this part of our life together has frustrated me no end. I have come -><- close to cheating before, and at some point I probably will.

[Anonymous]

I hope young people will put more emphasis on sexual compatibility when deciding whom to marry in the future

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If months went by I would address it or likely divorce.
.

Over no sex? Wow.

I am really surprised people don't address it. I am higher drive than my DW, and I absolutely address it if we go more than 2 weeks. It is a source of tension. I am not judging those who slide into a sexless marriage, I get it. But yes, I would address it and divorce if I wasn't having sex with my DW. Or ask for an open marriage. YMMV.

I guess some of us just have different standards.

And yes, I have sex with my husband.

Hmm, let's see. You aren't in a sexless marriage.
But you judge the standards of somebody like me in undersexed marriage intending to definitively "address it or likely divorce".
What alternate advice would you give me that meets your standard?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If months went by I would address it or likely divorce.
.

Over no sex? Wow.

I am really surprised people don't address it. I am higher drive than my DW, and I absolutely address it if we go more than 2 weeks. It is a source of tension. I am not judging those who slide into a sexless marriage, I get it. But yes, I would address it and divorce if I wasn't having sex with my DW. Or ask for an open marriage. YMMV.

+1

Sex is important. DW and I communicate a lot.

My husband and I communicate beautifully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"When we got married, we were doing it at least once a month, sometimes more."

That's nuts. Or rather, not normal. But, if it's good for them, fine.

You're right. Newlyweds having sex "at least" once a month? Totally not normal. I now have sex with my husband (after being married for 13 years) once a month and it's utterly depressing - i consider ours a sexless marriage. When we just married, we f@cked like rabbits.