SAHM’s - anyone successfully convince DH to support their staying home long term?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Things no man is thinking: Gee, I wish I could get off this boring conference call so I could wash the cloth diapers and clean the oven. My wife is so lucky.

I'll bet you there are a good number of them who would like to have a few years to think about nothing but those things, to go to work out when the want and be freed from the breadwinner pressure.

Then they should have married a woman who has a job and split the breadwinning and the oven cleaning. The fact is that SAH is unpaid and low status, and very, very few men are going to see that as a better option than even the most tedious of paid jobs. I don't blame them! I have nothing but contempt for the women who continue to accept unpaid and low status work BECAUSE they are women and then call themselves feminists for having "chosen" this lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Things no man is thinking: Gee, I wish I could get off this boring conference call so I could wash the cloth diapers and clean the oven. My wife is so lucky.

I'll bet you there are a good number of them who would like to have a few years to think about nothing but those things, to go to work out when the want and be freed from the breadwinner pressure.

Then they should have married a woman who has a job and split the breadwinning and the oven cleaning. The fact is that SAH is unpaid and low status, and very, very few men are going to see that as a better option than even the most tedious of paid jobs. I don't blame them! I have nothing but contempt for the women who continue to accept unpaid and low status work BECAUSE they are women and then call themselves feminists for having "chosen" this lifestyle.

You think you are being a feminist but what you are actually doing is buying into the idea that the work men do is important and the work women do is not. Like not only are you putting down SAHMs, you are putting down the many, many women (mostly POC) who do childcare and housework for a living. Who took care of your kids when they were young? Who cleans your house? Do you have contempt for them, too? It sure sounds like it.

Something a lot of SAHMs realize is that this work has inherent value and can offer a sense of meaning and accomplishment they never experience in paid work. I was in a corporate career for nearly 20 years before becoming a SAHM and I do not miss it. I have not convinced myself of anything (my DH would definitely have supported me continuing to work) -- I just genuinely prefer what I'm doing now to what I was doing before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Things no man is thinking: Gee, I wish I could get off this boring conference call so I could wash the cloth diapers and clean the oven. My wife is so lucky.

I'll bet you there are a good number of them who would like to have a few years to think about nothing but those things, to go to work out when the want and be freed from the breadwinner pressure.

Then they should have married a woman who has a job and split the breadwinning and the oven cleaning. The fact is that SAH is unpaid and low status, and very, very few men are going to see that as a better option than even the most tedious of paid jobs. I don't blame them! I have nothing but contempt for the women who continue to accept unpaid and low status work BECAUSE they are women and then call themselves feminists for having "chosen" this lifestyle.

You think you are being a feminist but what you are actually doing is buying into the idea that the work men do is important and the work women do is not. Like not only are you putting down SAHMs, you are putting down the many, many women (mostly POC) who do childcare and housework for a living. Who took care of your kids when they were young? Who cleans your house? Do you have contempt for them, too? It sure sounds like it.

Something a lot of SAHMs realize is that this work has inherent value and can offer a sense of meaning and accomplishment they never experience in paid work. I was in a corporate career for nearly 20 years before becoming a SAHM and I do not miss it. I have not convinced myself of anything (my DH would definitely have supported me continuing to work) -- I just genuinely prefer what I'm doing now to what I was doing before.

I am NOT putting down paid work of any kind. I think it is disgusting for anyone to participate in a gender based system where women do all the cooking and cleaning and childrearing year after year while the men have all the economic power. Of course cleaning and chlidrearing has inherent value, but why don't the men get to enjoy that same inherent value? Because they are not stupid--they realize that if they have a paid job they can pick and choose which parts of housecleaning and childcare they want to do while their wife is stuck doing all the rest of it.

Look at this entire thread - the husband wants his wife to go back to paid work now that the shitty part of childrearing is over and she is annoyed because she is finally getting to the stage where she gets to slow down. AND she has to start all over with her career because she took so much time off to raise the kids. It is a system that screws women over again and again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Things no man is thinking: Gee, I wish I could get off this boring conference call so I could wash the cloth diapers and clean the oven. My wife is so lucky.

I'll bet you there are a good number of them who would like to have a few years to think about nothing but those things, to go to work out when the want and be freed from the breadwinner pressure.

Then they should have married a woman who has a job and split the breadwinning and the oven cleaning. The fact is that SAH is unpaid and low status, and very, very few men are going to see that as a better option than even the most tedious of paid jobs. I don't blame them! I have nothing but contempt for the women who continue to accept unpaid and low status work BECAUSE they are women and then call themselves feminists for having "chosen" this lifestyle.

I am a SAHM. I am not an Employee. I am an Employer. I employ low paid WOHMs to do domestic work at my house. I guess they are not feminists because they work for peanuts and work a low status job then?

I understand from DCUM that there are three kinds of WOHMs.
1. Those who have the money to hire other poor WOHMs to do domestic labor for them.
2. Those who are not rich enough to hire these poor WOHMs and hate rich SAHMs and WOHMs.
3. And the poorest WOHMs who work in low paying jobs for others.

So do we even talk of the plight of the poorest women or are we glad that they are available to become our maids? They are accepting low pay and low status so that makes them sub-humans, I suppose?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Things no man is thinking: Gee, I wish I could get off this boring conference call so I could wash the cloth diapers and clean the oven. My wife is so lucky.

I'll bet you there are a good number of them who would like to have a few years to think about nothing but those things, to go to work out when the want and be freed from the breadwinner pressure.

Then they should have married a woman who has a job and split the breadwinning and the oven cleaning. The fact is that SAH is unpaid and low status, and very, very few men are going to see that as a better option than even the most tedious of paid jobs. I don't blame them! I have nothing but contempt for the women who continue to accept unpaid and low status work BECAUSE they are women and then call themselves feminists for having "chosen" this lifestyle.

You think you are being a feminist but what you are actually doing is buying into the idea that the work men do is important and the work women do is not. Like not only are you putting down SAHMs, you are putting down the many, many women (mostly POC) who do childcare and housework for a living. Who took care of your kids when they were young? Who cleans your house? Do you have contempt for them, too? It sure sounds like it.

Something a lot of SAHMs realize is that this work has inherent value and can offer a sense of meaning and accomplishment they never experience in paid work. I was in a corporate career for nearly 20 years before becoming a SAHM and I do not miss it. I have not convinced myself of anything (my DH would definitely have supported me continuing to work) -- I just genuinely prefer what I'm doing now to what I was doing before.

I am NOT putting down paid work of any kind. I think it is disgusting for anyone to participate in a gender based system where women do all the cooking and cleaning and childrearing year after year while the men have all the economic power. Of course cleaning and chlidrearing has inherent value, but why don't the men get to enjoy that same inherent value? Because they are not stupid--they realize that if they have a paid job they can pick and choose which parts of housecleaning and childcare they want to do while their wife is stuck doing all the rest of it.

Look at this entire thread - the husband wants his wife to go back to paid work now that the shitty part of childrearing is over and she is annoyed because she is finally getting to the stage where she gets to slow down. AND she has to start all over with her career because she took so much time off to raise the kids. It is a system that screws women over again and again.

Why is wiping butts valuable if they’re strangers and I get paid and of no value if it’s my kid and I’m not paid? Does your husband slip you a $20 every time you have sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:SAHM are pathetic. At home doing the unpaid labor their husbands don't want to do. Who wants to spend their days cleaning house and grocery shopping?

I know so many super liberal SAHMs in DC who are all up in arms about their daughters' future reproductive lives while they literally are stepford wives modeling for their daughters how men have oppressed women for generations and the woman lap it up like they have won the lottery because they can take yoga at 10 am before the pediatrician appointment.

Beats making spreadsheets, attending meetings, zooming endless conference calls. Most working woman are not highly paid human rights lawyers. Most jobs are burning, uninteresting and unfulfilling

So young girls should choose to stay home having babies instead? It's so disheartening to see bright, educated women opting to reinforce tired gender roles over and over again versus modeling an equitable household in which women earn money AND men nurture and feed children. It is absolutely grotesque that women continue to sell themselves short over and over again.

LOL
No it's great that women have choices! I'm having a great life, and now continue to do what I want even though my kids are older now. In fact, I have friends that feel they missed out by going to a boring job everyday day in and day out. Still most women are probably in and out of the work force. Again it's about personal decisions. What may work for you may not for someone else. Don't be jealous or envious. With careful planning anyone can accomplish the lifestyle they desire.

You are completely brainwashed. If staying at home is so great, why aren't men falling over themselves to do it? And god only knows how you can look your daughters in the eyes and tell them they can do anything that boys can do. Do anything you want! As long as you're at pickup by 3:20 and dinner is on the table by 6 when Daddy gets home!!!

My only regret is that I didn't have any daughters, but I can guarantee that my sons will expect to be equal partners in every way.

Are you kidding? Do you really think tons of men would keep going to work if they won the lottery? The problem for men is that there are relatively few high earning women.

MOST people would prefer not to have to work for money.

I agree.

That pp is not a very happy person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Things no man is thinking: Gee, I wish I could get off this boring conference call so I could wash the cloth diapers and clean the oven. My wife is so lucky.

I'll bet you there are a good number of them who would like to have a few years to think about nothing but those things, to go to work out when the want and be freed from the breadwinner pressure.

Then they should have married a woman who has a job and split the breadwinning and the oven cleaning. The fact is that SAH is unpaid and low status, and very, very few men are going to see that as a better option than even the most tedious of paid jobs. I don't blame them! I have nothing but contempt for the women who continue to accept unpaid and low status work BECAUSE they are women and then call themselves feminists for having "chosen" this lifestyle.

You think you are being a feminist but what you are actually doing is buying into the idea that the work men do is important and the work women do is not. Like not only are you putting down SAHMs, you are putting down the many, many women (mostly POC) who do childcare and housework for a living. Who took care of your kids when they were young? Who cleans your house? Do you have contempt for them, too? It sure sounds like it.

Something a lot of SAHMs realize is that this work has inherent value and can offer a sense of meaning and accomplishment they never experience in paid work. I was in a corporate career for nearly 20 years before becoming a SAHM and I do not miss it. I have not convinced myself of anything (my DH would definitely have supported me continuing to work) -- I just genuinely prefer what I'm doing now to what I was doing before.

I am NOT putting down paid work of any kind. I think it is disgusting for anyone to participate in a gender based system where women do all the cooking and cleaning and childrearing year after year while the men have all the economic power. Of course cleaning and chlidrearing has inherent value, but why don't the men get to enjoy that same inherent value? Because they are not stupid--they realize that if they have a paid job they can pick and choose which parts of housecleaning and childcare they want to do while their wife is stuck doing all the rest of it.

Look at this entire thread - the husband wants his wife to go back to paid work now that the shitty part of childrearing is over and she is annoyed because she is finally getting to the stage where she gets to slow down. AND she has to start all over with her career because she took so much time off to raise the kids. It is a system that screws women over again and again.

The system screws the women? Don't blame the system. Blame these women for marrying idiotic men. I know a lot of SAHMs and WOHMs and invariably the men are helping out the women in every way, regardless of if she stays at home or works for a paycheck. Why? Because together they want their marriage and kids to succeed. I don't see the conflict you say in my circle of friends and relatives.

I immigrated to US and belong to a very traditional culture. It is amazing for a rich and educated country as US, how individuals devalue marriage, family relationships and parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Things no man is thinking: Gee, I wish I could get off this boring conference call so I could wash the cloth diapers and clean the oven. My wife is so lucky.

I'll bet you there are a good number of them who would like to have a few years to think about nothing but those things, to go to work out when the want and be freed from the breadwinner pressure.

Then they should have married a woman who has a job and split the breadwinning and the oven cleaning. The fact is that SAH is unpaid and low status, and very, very few men are going to see that as a better option than even the most tedious of paid jobs. I don't blame them! I have nothing but contempt for the women who continue to accept unpaid and low status work BECAUSE they are women and then call themselves feminists for having "chosen" this lifestyle.

I am a SAHM. I am not an Employee. I am an Employer. I employ low paid WOHMs to do domestic work at my house. I guess they are not feminists because they work for peanuts and work a low status job then?

I understand from DCUM that there are three kinds of WOHMs.
1. Those who have the money to hire other poor WOHMs to do domestic labor for them.
2. Those who are not rich enough to hire these poor WOHMs and hate rich SAHMs and WOHMs.
3. And the poorest WOHMs who work in low paying jobs for others.

So do we even talk of the plight of the poorest women or are we glad that they are available to become our maids? They are accepting low pay and low status so that makes them sub-humans, I suppose?

You are willfully misinterpreting. It is not "feminist" to do the unpaid labor that your husband doesn't want to do. At least the house cleaner gets paid for her work! Ours makes $60/hour. These SAHM are doing it for FREE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Things no man is thinking: Gee, I wish I could get off this boring conference call so I could wash the cloth diapers and clean the oven. My wife is so lucky.

I'll bet you there are a good number of them who would like to have a few years to think about nothing but those things, to go to work out when the want and be freed from the breadwinner pressure.

Then they should have married a woman who has a job and split the breadwinning and the oven cleaning. The fact is that SAH is unpaid and low status, and very, very few men are going to see that as a better option than even the most tedious of paid jobs. I don't blame them! I have nothing but contempt for the women who continue to accept unpaid and low status work BECAUSE they are women and then call themselves feminists for having "chosen" this lifestyle.

You think you are being a feminist but what you are actually doing is buying into the idea that the work men do is important and the work women do is not. Like not only are you putting down SAHMs, you are putting down the many, many women (mostly POC) who do childcare and housework for a living. Who took care of your kids when they were young? Who cleans your house? Do you have contempt for them, too? It sure sounds like it.

Something a lot of SAHMs realize is that this work has inherent value and can offer a sense of meaning and accomplishment they never experience in paid work. I was in a corporate career for nearly 20 years before becoming a SAHM and I do not miss it. I have not convinced myself of anything (my DH would definitely have supported me continuing to work) -- I just genuinely prefer what I'm doing now to what I was doing before.

I am NOT putting down paid work of any kind. I think it is disgusting for anyone to participate in a gender based system where women do all the cooking and cleaning and childrearing year after year while the men have all the economic power. Of course cleaning and chlidrearing has inherent value, but why don't the men get to enjoy that same inherent value? Because they are not stupid--they realize that if they have a paid job they can pick and choose which parts of housecleaning and childcare they want to do while their wife is stuck doing all the rest of it.

Look at this entire thread - the husband wants his wife to go back to paid work now that the shitty part of childrearing is over and she is annoyed because she is finally getting to the stage where she gets to slow down. AND she has to start all over with her career because she took so much time off to raise the kids. It is a system that screws women over again and again.

PP,
Are you married? Are you in a happy marriage? Are you a parent? I am really sorry but you sound like a person who is very unhappy and unfulfilled. If it makes you feel better thinking that others must be unhappy, then go ahead. You are being venomous because anonymous internet posters have it better than you? You are a hot mess!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Things no man is thinking: Gee, I wish I could get off this boring conference call so I could wash the cloth diapers and clean the oven. My wife is so lucky.

I'll bet you there are a good number of them who would like to have a few years to think about nothing but those things, to go to work out when the want and be freed from the breadwinner pressure.

Then they should have married a woman who has a job and split the breadwinning and the oven cleaning. The fact is that SAH is unpaid and low status, and very, very few men are going to see that as a better option than even the most tedious of paid jobs. I don't blame them! I have nothing but contempt for the women who continue to accept unpaid and low status work BECAUSE they are women and then call themselves feminists for having "chosen" this lifestyle.

You think you are being a feminist but what you are actually doing is buying into the idea that the work men do is important and the work women do is not. Like not only are you putting down SAHMs, you are putting down the many, many women (mostly POC) who do childcare and housework for a living. Who took care of your kids when they were young? Who cleans your house? Do you have contempt for them, too? It sure sounds like it.

Something a lot of SAHMs realize is that this work has inherent value and can offer a sense of meaning and accomplishment they never experience in paid work. I was in a corporate career for nearly 20 years before becoming a SAHM and I do not miss it. I have not convinced myself of anything (my DH would definitely have supported me continuing to work) -- I just genuinely prefer what I'm doing now to what I was doing before.

I am NOT putting down paid work of any kind. I think it is disgusting for anyone to participate in a gender based system where women do all the cooking and cleaning and childrearing year after year while the men have all the economic power. Of course cleaning and chlidrearing has inherent value, but why don't the men get to enjoy that same inherent value? Because they are not stupid--they realize that if they have a paid job they can pick and choose which parts of housecleaning and childcare they want to do while their wife is stuck doing all the rest of it.

Look at this entire thread - the husband wants his wife to go back to paid work now that the shitty part of childrearing is over and she is annoyed because she is finally getting to the stage where she gets to slow down. AND she has to start all over with her career because she took so much time off to raise the kids. It is a system that screws women over again and again.

Why is wiping butts valuable if they’re strangers and I get paid and of no value if it’s my kid and I’m not paid? Does your husband slip you a $20 every time you have sex?

You make no sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Things no man is thinking: Gee, I wish I could get off this boring conference call so I could wash the cloth diapers and clean the oven. My wife is so lucky.

I'll bet you there are a good number of them who would like to have a few years to think about nothing but those things, to go to work out when the want and be freed from the breadwinner pressure.

Then they should have married a woman who has a job and split the breadwinning and the oven cleaning. The fact is that SAH is unpaid and low status, and very, very few men are going to see that as a better option than even the most tedious of paid jobs. I don't blame them! I have nothing but contempt for the women who continue to accept unpaid and low status work BECAUSE they are women and then call themselves feminists for having "chosen" this lifestyle.

You think you are being a feminist but what you are actually doing is buying into the idea that the work men do is important and the work women do is not. Like not only are you putting down SAHMs, you are putting down the many, many women (mostly POC) who do childcare and housework for a living. Who took care of your kids when they were young? Who cleans your house? Do you have contempt for them, too? It sure sounds like it.

Something a lot of SAHMs realize is that this work has inherent value and can offer a sense of meaning and accomplishment they never experience in paid work. I was in a corporate career for nearly 20 years before becoming a SAHM and I do not miss it. I have not convinced myself of anything (my DH would definitely have supported me continuing to work) -- I just genuinely prefer what I'm doing now to what I was doing before.

I am NOT putting down paid work of any kind. I think it is disgusting for anyone to participate in a gender based system where women do all the cooking and cleaning and childrearing year after year while the men have all the economic power. Of course cleaning and chlidrearing has inherent value, but why don't the men get to enjoy that same inherent value? Because they are not stupid--they realize that if they have a paid job they can pick and choose which parts of housecleaning and childcare they want to do while their wife is stuck doing all the rest of it.

Look at this entire thread - the husband wants his wife to go back to paid work now that the shitty part of childrearing is over and she is annoyed because she is finally getting to the stage where she gets to slow down. AND she has to start all over with her career because she took so much time off to raise the kids. It is a system that screws women over again and again.

PP,
Are you married? Are you in a happy marriage? Are you a parent? I am really sorry but you sound like a person who is very unhappy and unfulfilled. If it makes you feel better thinking that others must be unhappy, then go ahead. You are being venomous because anonymous internet posters have it better than you? You are a hot mess!

Of course I am married and a parent. I am just disgusted by the SAHM in my social circle who are such incredible hypocrites. Is that you? Are you the one posting about #girlpower and #thefutureisfemale while you are rushing to get dinner on the table?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Things no man is thinking: Gee, I wish I could get off this boring conference call so I could wash the cloth diapers and clean the oven. My wife is so lucky.

I'll bet you there are a good number of them who would like to have a few years to think about nothing but those things, to go to work out when the want and be freed from the breadwinner pressure.

Then they should have married a woman who has a job and split the breadwinning and the oven cleaning. The fact is that SAH is unpaid and low status, and very, very few men are going to see that as a better option than even the most tedious of paid jobs. I don't blame them! I have nothing but contempt for the women who continue to accept unpaid and low status work BECAUSE they are women and then call themselves feminists for having "chosen" this lifestyle.

I am a SAHM. I am not an Employee. I am an Employer. I employ low paid WOHMs to do domestic work at my house. I guess they are not feminists because they work for peanuts and work a low status job then?

I understand from DCUM that there are three kinds of WOHMs.
1. Those who have the money to hire other poor WOHMs to do domestic labor for them.
2. Those who are not rich enough to hire these poor WOHMs and hate rich SAHMs and WOHMs.
3. And the poorest WOHMs who work in low paying jobs for others.

So do we even talk of the plight of the poorest women or are we glad that they are available to become our maids? They are accepting low pay and low status so that makes them sub-humans, I suppose?

You are willfully misinterpreting. It is not "feminist" to do the unpaid labor that your husband doesn't want to do. At least the house cleaner gets paid for her work! Ours makes $60/hour. These SAHM are doing it for FREE.

Nope, you idiota. I am absolutely getting 50% of what my DH's make. So not doing anything for free. Our finances are totally blended. No prenup. Married for 30 years. Happy marriage. Besides, DH and I, had two kids together. So creating that family and raising them is invaluable to us. Since we had wonderful, smart, beautiful kids, we loved being with them. If our children were none of these things, maybe we would have been happy to have someone else look after them? Who knows? It is a moot point.

Plus, as mentioned above I have hired this WOHM for doing domestic chores twice a week, so neither DH not I have to do any domestic chores we don't love to do. Now, personally, I feel that $60/hour is a lot and no one pays that much, so either you are truly not very smart and have no idea of the going rates OR you just made it up. The latter sounds more plausible.

BTW, my maid seems utterly miserable that she is poor and has to work for a living. Given a choice she would stay home with her kid. She has no aspiration to have a career but she is burdened by her low paying career. If she does not work then she and her kid will starve. So my WOHM maid has hired another person - a WAHM, who provides substandard childcare to her kid. LOL. How ironic is that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Things no man is thinking: Gee, I wish I could get off this boring conference call so I could wash the cloth diapers and clean the oven. My wife is so lucky.

I'll bet you there are a good number of them who would like to have a few years to think about nothing but those things, to go to work out when the want and be freed from the breadwinner pressure.

Then they should have married a woman who has a job and split the breadwinning and the oven cleaning. The fact is that SAH is unpaid and low status, and very, very few men are going to see that as a better option than even the most tedious of paid jobs. I don't blame them! I have nothing but contempt for the women who continue to accept unpaid and low status work BECAUSE they are women and then call themselves feminists for having "chosen" this lifestyle.

You think you are being a feminist but what you are actually doing is buying into the idea that the work men do is important and the work women do is not. Like not only are you putting down SAHMs, you are putting down the many, many women (mostly POC) who do childcare and housework for a living. Who took care of your kids when they were young? Who cleans your house? Do you have contempt for them, too? It sure sounds like it.

Something a lot of SAHMs realize is that this work has inherent value and can offer a sense of meaning and accomplishment they never experience in paid work. I was in a corporate career for nearly 20 years before becoming a SAHM and I do not miss it. I have not convinced myself of anything (my DH would definitely have supported me continuing to work) -- I just genuinely prefer what I'm doing now to what I was doing before.

I am NOT putting down paid work of any kind. I think it is disgusting for anyone to participate in a gender based system where women do all the cooking and cleaning and childrearing year after year while the men have all the economic power. Of course cleaning and chlidrearing has inherent value, but why don't the men get to enjoy that same inherent value? Because they are not stupid--they realize that if they have a paid job they can pick and choose which parts of housecleaning and childcare they want to do while their wife is stuck doing all the rest of it.

Look at this entire thread - the husband wants his wife to go back to paid work now that the shitty part of childrearing is over and she is annoyed because she is finally getting to the stage where she gets to slow down. AND she has to start all over with her career because she took so much time off to raise the kids. It is a system that screws women over again and again.

PP,
Are you married? Are you in a happy marriage? Are you a parent? I am really sorry but you sound like a person who is very unhappy and unfulfilled. If it makes you feel better thinking that others must be unhappy, then go ahead. You are being venomous because anonymous internet posters have it better than you? You are a hot mess!

Of course I am married and a parent. I am just disgusted by the SAHM in my social circle who are such incredible hypocrites. Is that you? Are you the one posting about #girlpower and #thefutureisfemale while you are rushing to get dinner on the table?

Why do you remain in that social circle if you are a misfit? Do you feel no one is giving you a cookie for holding a job and earning a paycheck? Who is cooking dinner in your house? Do you not do any domestic chores in your own house? Is your DH a SAHD? Is he the one who is cooking the dinner? Or is it your children who are fending for themselves and doing all the chores at home because you house, clothe and feed them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Things no man is thinking: Gee, I wish I could get off this boring conference call so I could wash the cloth diapers and clean the oven. My wife is so lucky.

I'll bet you there are a good number of them who would like to have a few years to think about nothing but those things, to go to work out when the want and be freed from the breadwinner pressure.

Then they should have married a woman who has a job and split the breadwinning and the oven cleaning. The fact is that SAH is unpaid and low status, and very, very few men are going to see that as a better option than even the most tedious of paid jobs. I don't blame them! I have nothing but contempt for the women who continue to accept unpaid and low status work BECAUSE they are women and then call themselves feminists for having "chosen" this lifestyle.

You think you are being a feminist but what you are actually doing is buying into the idea that the work men do is important and the work women do is not. Like not only are you putting down SAHMs, you are putting down the many, many women (mostly POC) who do childcare and housework for a living. Who took care of your kids when they were young? Who cleans your house? Do you have contempt for them, too? It sure sounds like it.

Something a lot of SAHMs realize is that this work has inherent value and can offer a sense of meaning and accomplishment they never experience in paid work. I was in a corporate career for nearly 20 years before becoming a SAHM and I do not miss it. I have not convinced myself of anything (my DH would definitely have supported me continuing to work) -- I just genuinely prefer what I'm doing now to what I was doing before.

I am NOT putting down paid work of any kind. I think it is disgusting for anyone to participate in a gender based system where women do all the cooking and cleaning and childrearing year after year while the men have all the economic power. Of course cleaning and chlidrearing has inherent value, but why don't the men get to enjoy that same inherent value? Because they are not stupid--they realize that if they have a paid job they can pick and choose which parts of housecleaning and childcare they want to do while their wife is stuck doing all the rest of it.

Look at this entire thread - the husband wants his wife to go back to paid work now that the shitty part of childrearing is over and she is annoyed because she is finally getting to the stage where she gets to slow down. AND she has to start all over with her career because she took so much time off to raise the kids. It is a system that screws women over again and again.

Why is wiping butts valuable if they’re strangers and I get paid and of no value if it’s my kid and I’m not paid? Does your husband slip you a $20 every time you have sex?

If you take care of your neighbor's kid and your neighbor takes care of your kids - you both will be working women. If you take care of your own kid, you will be a SAHM. Go figure.

I am just at the thought of my DH slipping $20 for sex to me. I will be truly a Working Girl if he does that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SAHM are pathetic. At home doing the unpaid labor their husbands don't want to do. Who wants to spend their days cleaning house and grocery shopping?

I know so many super liberal SAHMs in DC who are all up in arms about their daughters' future reproductive lives while they literally are stepford wives modeling for their daughters how men have oppressed women for generations and the woman lap it up like they have won the lottery because they can take yoga at 10 am before the pediatrician appointment.

I think WOHMs should spend their energy on getting equal pay for equal work. Perhaps also work hard in fighting for flex schedule, maternity leave, on-site day care, ability to remote work etc - instead of berating SAHMs.

Because when schools and daycares closed all these WOHMs left the workplace in droves because they were royally Phucked!! COVID the great equalizer.