Reply to SAHM’s - anyone successfully convince DH to support their staying home long term?

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Reply to "SAHM’s - anyone successfully convince DH to support their staying home long term?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Things no man is thinking: Gee, I wish I could get off this boring conference call so I could wash the cloth diapers and clean the oven. My wife is so lucky.[/quote]

I'll bet you there are a good number of them who would like to have a few years to think about nothing but those things, to go to work out when the want and be freed from the breadwinner pressure.[/quote]

Then they should have married a woman who has a job and split the breadwinning and the oven cleaning. The fact is that SAH is unpaid and low status, and very, very few men are going to see that as a better option than even the most tedious of paid jobs. I don't blame them! I have nothing but contempt for the women who continue to accept unpaid and low status work BECAUSE they are women and then call themselves feminists for having "chosen" this lifestyle. [/quote]

You think you are being a feminist but what you are actually doing is buying into the idea that the work men do is important and the work women do is not. Like not only are you putting down SAHMs, you are putting down the many, many women (mostly POC) who do childcare and housework for a living. Who took care of your kids when they were young? Who cleans your house? Do you have contempt for them, too? It sure sounds like it.

Something a lot of SAHMs realize is that this work has inherent value and can offer a sense of meaning and accomplishment they never experience in paid work. I was in a corporate career for nearly 20 years before becoming a SAHM and I do not miss it. I have not convinced myself of anything (my DH would definitely have supported me continuing to work) -- I just genuinely prefer what I'm doing now to what I was doing before.[/quote]

I am NOT putting down paid work of any kind. I think it is disgusting for anyone to participate in a gender based system where women do all the cooking and cleaning and childrearing year after year while the men have all the economic power. Of course cleaning and chlidrearing has inherent value, but why don't the men get to enjoy that same inherent value?  Because they are not stupid--they realize that if they have a paid job they can pick and choose which parts of housecleaning and childcare they want to do while their wife is stuck doing all the rest of it.

Look at this entire thread - the husband wants his wife to go back to paid work now that the shitty part of childrearing is over and she is annoyed because she is finally getting to the stage where she gets to slow down. AND she has to start all over with her career because she took so much time off to raise the kids. It is a system that screws women over again and again.[/quote]

Why is wiping butts valuable if they’re strangers and I get paid and of no value if it’s my kid and I’m not paid? Does your husband slip you a $20 every time you have sex?[/quote]

If you take care of your neighbor's kid and your neighbor takes care of your kids - you both will be working women.  If you take care of your own kid, you will be a SAHM. Go figure.

I am just  :lol:  :lol:  :lol: at the thought of my DH slipping $20 for sex to me.  I will be truly a Working Girl if he does that. [/quote]

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