husband wants to keep baby and I don't

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Skipped to the end here: OP originally said no kids. Then had one who is now 11, and has an accidental pregnancy. I can fully understand not wanting to start all over again with an infant that was unplanned. I think that OP would probably get over the regret of an abortion faster than the many many years ahead of raiding another child. It’s her body and we all know that the woman does both the pregnancy and the work of child rearing. Yes Dads help but the burden is on the woman. It’s ok OP to make a hard decision.

I am a therapist, and you will be surprised how many woman cannot get over past abortion, even 20+ years later. And this is not religious woman (for those I think is much easier to find a forgiveness and piece). A lot of women don't understand what mental damage it may cause in a long term.

I am also a therapist and many women deeply and permanently regret having more children than they wanted.

I was the unwanted child. Growing up I used to think about how my parents would have been better people if they had just had strength to get an abortion. My childhood was horrible. I knew and understood that I wasn’t wanted. I was neglected. It took a long time to move past my upbringing. As an adult I think abortion is the compassionate choice - for the child.

I have children of my own, and if one of them came to me with an unplanned pregnancy, I would fully support them in terminating.

Another unwanted child here - [phone]

You both need therapy if you wish you had been aborted instead.

You think you’re insulting them, but you’re just proving their point. They’re damaged people. OP should not bring a child that would clearly be damaged into the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plenty of people would give anything to adopt your baby.

She has no obligation to be an incubator for adoption vultures. But more importantly, if there is a born child, the father has rights to it. No one is adopting a baby here. Give up your adoption fantasies.

Yes, in no way are you entitled to the contents of anyone else’s uterus. Friggin Aunt Lydia over here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:


Thirty one pages later and how many updates has the OP given?

I think we've all been had...

O P updated once. She is aborting the pregnancy and divorcing the husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pro choice doesn’t mean “if I as a third party agree” pro choice means respect another woman’s decision as it is not yours to make for her.

Pro choice is simply the label given to people who think abortion shouldn’t be illegal. It’s not a promise to never pass judgement or have respect for every instance a woman would chose to abort for.

WRONG

Pro Choice also means not judging someone's private decisions. It's none of your business. As for respect, I surely would not respect someone who judges someone else about this subject. Just because you do not think their thought process is correct doesn't mean your is. My guess is you are a "good Christian" who thinks they need to be judge and jury over others. It's non of your business!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pro choice doesn’t mean “if I as a third party agree” pro choice means respect another woman’s decision as it is not yours to make for her.

Pro choice is simply the label given to people who think abortion shouldn’t be illegal. It’s not a promise to never pass judgement or have respect for every instance a woman would chose to abort for.

WRONG

Pro Choice also means not judging someone's private decisions. It's none of your business. As for respect, I surely would not respect someone who judges someone else about this subject. Just because you do not think their thought process is correct doesn't mean your is. My guess is you are a "good Christian" who thinks they need to be judge and jury over others. It's non of your business!

If OP didn’t want opinions, judgement, suggestions, and even marching orders, she could have refrained from venting here. She chose otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


Thirty one pages later and how many updates has the OP given?

I think we've all been had...

O P updated once. She is aborting the pregnancy and divorcing the husband

Did anyone expect a different outcome?

There was no other possibility.

Reverse the roles, the DW wants the baby and the DH doesn’t. He keeps pressuring her to abort so their DC doesn’t share an inheritance. We wouldn’t think she’d abort and they would live happily ever after.

The poor DD. She is going to need lots of therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


Thirty one pages later and how many updates has the OP given?

I think we've all been had...

O P updated once. She is aborting the pregnancy and divorcing the husband

Did anyone expect a different outcome?

There was no other possibility.

Reverse the roles, the DW wants the baby and the DH doesn’t. He keeps pressuring her to abort so their DC doesn’t share an inheritance. We wouldn’t think she’d abort and they would live happily ever after.

The poor DD. She is going to need lots of therapy.

Sadly there might have been the possibility of aborting the pregnancy and remaining married but only if both OP and DH were willing to get immediate and intensive therapy. But the ticking clock of a pregnancy makes that very, very tough. I suggested many pages ago that she get to a women's center or otherwise try to find an emergency therapist or counselor and at a minimum go alone but preferably go with DH. She definitely is deeply affected by her upbringing and that is coloring her reaction profoundly; if she'd ever dealt earlier with that lifelong issue (the fears/scars/assumptions created by her impoverished upbringing) she might have been better able to handle this immense stressor. She might still have aborted but might have understood that the inheritance focus was skewed. And DH's own background as she described it is coloring his reaction just as much. He threw down the nuclear option immediately on hearing she was pregnant, which is not to his credit; he doesn't view the marriage as an entity of its own worth keeping and working through even if he does not get what he wants. And their DD's inheritance now is likely to be her inheriting the pattern of letting her upbringing dictate her future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pro choice doesn’t mean “if I as a third party agree” pro choice means respect another woman’s decision as it is not yours to make for her.

Pro choice is simply the label given to people who think abortion shouldn’t be illegal. It’s not a promise to never pass judgement or have respect for every instance a woman would chose to abort for.

WRONG

Pro Choice also means not judging someone's private decisions. It's none of your business. As for respect, I surely would not respect someone who judges someone else about this subject. Just because you do not think their thought process is correct doesn't mean your is. My guess is you are a "good Christian" who thinks they need to be judge and jury over others. It's non of your business!

No, you are incorrect and PP is correct. If you are going to say that pro-choice means you believe all abortions are okay at any time for any reason, then you need a new term for the many of us out here who believe abortion needs to be legal, available, and safe as possible, but still don't view it as just another form of birth control, who view it as a serious choice that shouldn't be taken lightly.

We ALL judge people about other things. It's called having a moral compass. We ALL have lines we believe people should not cross. Welcome to the human race. I would have zero respect for someone who never judges anyone else about anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


Thirty one pages later and how many updates has the OP given?

I think we've all been had...

O P updated once. She is aborting the pregnancy and divorcing the husband

Did anyone expect a different outcome?

There was no other possibility.

Reverse the roles, the DW wants the baby and the DH doesn’t. He keeps pressuring her to abort so their DC doesn’t share an inheritance. We wouldn’t think she’d abort and they would live happily ever after.

The poor DD. She is going to need lots of therapy.

Sadly there might have been the possibility of aborting the pregnancy and remaining married but only if both OP and DH were willing to get immediate and intensive therapy. But the ticking clock of a pregnancy makes that very, very tough. I suggested many pages ago that she get to a women's center or otherwise try to find an emergency therapist or counselor and at a minimum go alone but preferably go with DH. She definitely is deeply affected by her upbringing and that is coloring her reaction profoundly; if she'd ever dealt earlier with that lifelong issue (the fears/scars/assumptions created by her impoverished upbringing) she might have been better able to handle this immense stressor. She might still have aborted but might have understood that the inheritance focus was skewed. And DH's own background as she described it is coloring his reaction just as much. He threw down the nuclear option immediately on hearing she was pregnant, which is not to his credit; he doesn't view the marriage as an entity of its own worth keeping and working through even if he does not get what he wants. And their DD's inheritance now is likely to be her inheriting the pattern of letting her upbringing dictate her future.

Agreeing with the bold.

I knew a couple who aborted a wanted child upon mutual agreement and the marriage still broke. Look at the recent thread in which the unmarried couple decided together and then the gf was angry at the bf for not being emotionally supportive enough. Abortion is a costly solution even when both the man and woman are on board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pro choice doesn’t mean “if I as a third party agree” pro choice means respect another woman’s decision as it is not yours to make for her.

Pro choice is simply the label given to people who think abortion shouldn’t be illegal. It’s not a promise to never pass judgement or have respect for every instance a woman would chose to abort for.

WRONG

Pro Choice also means not judging someone's private decisions. It's none of your business. As for respect, I surely would not respect someone who judges someone else about this subject. Just because you do not think their thought process is correct doesn't mean your is. My guess is you are a "good Christian" who thinks they need to be judge and jury over others. It's non of your business!

No, you are incorrect and PP is correct. If you are going to say that pro-choice means you believe all abortions are okay at any time for any reason, then you need a new term for the many of us out here who believe abortion needs to be legal, available, and safe as possible, but still don't view it as just another form of birth control, who view it as a serious choice that shouldn't be taken lightly.

We ALL judge people about other things. It's called having a moral compass. We ALL have lines we believe people should not cross. Welcome to the human race. I would have zero respect for someone who never judges anyone else about anything.

WRONG

Not your business, Therefore nothing to judge.

Moral compass?? HAHAHAHAHAHA no

[Anonymous]

Husband was 100% within his rights to walk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Husband was 100% within his rights to walk.

Yes, he does. Just like she is 100% within her rights to terminate. See works both ways, how lovely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Husband was 100% within his rights to walk.

Yes, he does. Just like she is 100% within her rights to terminate. See works both ways, how lovely.

Yeah, clearly everyone is a winner in this marriage!

[Anonymous]

OP’s daughter is going to be seriously messed up when she finds out her family was wrecked because her mom insisted on aborting her sibling (especially over money when there’s no indication they are living hand to mouth).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP’s daughter is going to be seriously messed up when she finds out her family was wrecked because her mom insisted on aborting her sibling (especially over money when there’s no indication they are living hand to mouth).

Nah, by 11 she is well used to being an only child, and would probably be quite put out to have a squalling infant introduced into her life.