A friend does not want to socialize with us anymore as couples because we eat meat!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dump this friend

+1

[Anonymous]

This same situation happened to my husband. His friend, a vegan, got super offended that my DH ordered a big steak, and wanted to end their friendship.

My best friend is a vegan and never ever says anything to us about eating meat. Heck she even hosted a barbecue with hamburgers and sausages! Maybe she is a rarity.

Anyways- the offended Vegans are clearly in the wrong here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dump this friend

This, dump them. I've been a vegetarian for 25 years. I don't care if someone eats meat around me. The funny thing about some of these hard core vegans is usually they have all kind of exceptions, including wearing leather shoes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This same situation happened to my husband. His friend, a vegan, got super offended that my DH ordered a big steak, and wanted to end their friendship.

My best friend is a vegan and never ever says anything to us about eating meat. Heck she even hosted a barbecue with hamburgers and sausages! Maybe she is a rarity.

Anyways- the offended Vegans are clearly in the wrong here.

I serve meat as a vegetarian. I don't care. I'm just always someone will eat it. More amazed people say its good when I cooked it as I have no clue what I am doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does your socializing have to involve food especially where it is a focal point?
You cant hang out at, say a winery, happy hour, play poker/bunco, catch a movie, or the like?

Most wine isn't vegan (gelatin or fish bladders used during filtration process).

[Anonymous]

Go out for Indian? It’s the one cuisine where the vegetarian dishes are better than the meat likely since so much of the population is vegetarian. And 90% of the menu will be vegan since only a handful of dishes have any dairy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What bothers me is that she could have just engineered the situation behind the scenes without saying anything to you explicitly. For example, they could have simply declined dinner invitations and suggest a movie or drinks instead. Or she could have been more diplomatic about it and made it about avoiding all non-vegan restaurants in general. But instead, she made a huge deal about telling you in person and making it about your food choices. Sounds like she was trying to be morally superior or shame you for eating meat.

And to that I say, no thanks.

+1. She could have suggested alternative activities to dinner as they come up instead of the dramatic confrontation.

[Anonymous]

Hope the movie theater don't ave leather recliners. I wouldn't want high maintenance obnoxious friends. I don't dine with people who need to make a production out of their diets r y preferences. Ruins my appetite. Good riddance.

[Anonymous]

After my last pregnancy over a decade ago, I can't stand the smell of raw ground beef or eat it if I've prepared it. I still cook it for my family and just eat the sides. The friends need to grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a lifelong Hindu vegetarian who would never do that. It’s rude. I do cringe when I see my kids eat meat, which they do rarely at grandparents house, but I don’t want to make them self conscious about it, I do make surethey know an animal suffered and I s dead for the meal on their late. They seem ok with it!

So you don't want them to feel self conscious, but you do want them to feel guilty?! I'd take self consciousness over mom induced guilt any day!

[Anonymous]

Your friend handled this like an adult. She still wants to do stuff with you, just not watch you eat meat. So what? She told you in person, she didn't insult your eating habits, just said she couldn't do it.

Do you WANT to be friends or do you want to cause problems? How difficult is it to find something else to do with them? Can you not abstain from meat for a couple of hours in order to see these people?

I think you are just looking for a reason to be offended. But this friend hasn't done anything that should offend you. So either suck it up and do non-meat related activities (don't wear a salami-suit or a meat dress) or tell her, face to face, that you can't give up meat for 2 hours so you can still be friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is someone I am pretty friendly with via my kids school. Our husbands got along too. We have gone out for dinner with them maybe 12-13 times since we met about 2 years ago. She and her husband became hardcore vegan in last month. We have gone to a few restaurants (last few times) where my husband ordered a steak, as he generally does and I ordered a chicken dish. They ordered some vegan dish.

We have done it this way ever since they became vegan. Well.......3 days ago I get a call from her telling me she needs to speak to me in person. We agree to meet for coffee, I am thinking its something about one of the kids. She could have knocked me over with a feather by telling me that they are both uncomfortable when we are in a restaurant with them and ordering steak medium and whatever it is I am ordering. She said she cannot handle even looking at it and they are just too uncomfortable so while "they like us, they would like to continue to see us for occasions that do no involve eating"! She said maybe drinks, a movie, etc......

OK someone please clue me in. Is this the norm? Am I maybe totally clueless as to how being friends with vegans work? Is she being a nut job or am I just insensitive? Please help, I am still reeling....

NP Your title is misleading. You say they don't want to socialize at all with you but, really they just don't want eat with you. Is that all you did together? Granted, I think they are wrong but, at least she told you in person, not by phone, email or text. Perhaps you can think of a gross meal to you and then watching someone eat it in front of you if that helps. I would either socialize with them in non eating environments or perhaps tell her that you could eat vegetarian meals when they eat together ( although I think that is not quite right either).

I would also ask her how she felt if someone did the same to her. Ie if you said you couldn't eat with them because they eat vegetarian meals. Perhaps they could order a steak or you couldn't eat with them?

[Anonymous]

Nut jobs. Ditch them.

[Anonymous]

It’s not your problem... Bye, Felicia

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your friend handled this like an adult. She still wants to do stuff with you, just not watch you eat meat. So what? She told you in person, she didn't insult your eating habits, just said she couldn't do it.

Do you WANT to be friends or do you want to cause problems? How difficult is it to find something else to do with them? Can you not abstain from meat for a couple of hours in order to see these people?

I think you are just looking for a reason to be offended. But this friend hasn't done anything that should offend you. So either suck it up and do non-meat related activities (don't wear a salami-suit or a meat dress) or tell her, face to face, that you can't give up meat for 2 hours so you can still be friends.

+1