A friend does not want to socialize with us anymore as couples because we eat meat!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eight pages and nobody mentioned that op's friend is ok with movie outings? What will she say, "pay for your own ticket, but I'd better not seeing you eat movie popcorn, it's so gross!".
I would stop socializing with these friends. If they calm down then you can revisit. My rationale is that nobody tells me or my husband what we can't eat in public, especially if we are paying for our meals. Life makes you "suck it up" a lot more then we realize, and a restaurant meal shouldn't be one of them. Recent example, we were at a picnic and they were serving prime rib. Unfortunately we had to leave before the prime rib was ready and I didn't get any. That's when "suck it up" is appropriate.
Finally, no peer of mine calls me to a Tony Soprano style sit-down on their turf and tells me that I can't take an action that I am allowed legally and socially to do. Your boss can call you into a meeting, your mother can, and maybe a spouse can, but not a peer. I would also be mad as hell that this friend made you worry needlessly about your children. Believe me, she knew exactly what she was doing. People who engage in such behavior love the power it gives them. It's this action that would make it very difficult if not impossible to want to be close with this couple. I'd be polite when I saw them, but I think I'd find some new friends.

LOL how you put it but I agree !

[Anonymous]

PP ^^ I don’t know if I would ghost these friends but it would certainly put a damper on things. It’s my time, my meal, my social activity also and the friend seems aggressive in her request.

[Anonymous]

I actually give the friend some credit for the direct honest approach. Clearly something has changed and watching you eat meat seems gross. But instead of losing the friendship, she is trying to explain why they may have acted weird and suggested finding other things to do besides meals. If you value the friendship, then find alternatives. If you do not value it, and find not eating meals together is too hard, drop it.

But at least give the friend some credit for facing you and telling you the problem. She is not asking you to stop eating meat. And she is admitting that she has the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The friends approach is a demand disguised as a request and therefore manipulative.
Basically they are saying “change your eating habits right now for me! Or else!” Further she is stating : your food is so disgusting to me I can’t even look at what you are eating.
Both are aggressive statements packaged up in a belief system. That is why it is so annoying to some people. They find being manipulated that way not conducive to friendship. Yes a friend could do without meat but the way it was stated (as reported) was not very tactful. A person could say “why don’t we try a vegan restaurant or a vegetarian restaurant?” Instead they went for a dramatic line in the sand.

No she isn't. The friend said "I don't want to watch you eat meat"...that's not the same as telling friend to change. She is morally opposed to eating meat and it makes her sick but she is willing to look past that OP eats meat as long as she doesn't have to witness it. She suggested drinks or a movie or something that doesn't involve eating for one meal. The meal that OP shares with her.

Look...I don't smoke. I'm okay if you do when we aren't together. But I don't want to spend three hours with you watching you puff on a cigarette and blow smoke in my face. It's disgusting to me and makes me pretty ill. I still want to hang out with you, but not while you're smoking around me. Okay??? Same thing.

+1

You nailed it. Thank you!

No it isn't. Neither you, nor the PP are very bright. Smoking and eating meat are false equivalents. Is the person eating meat chewing it and spitting it in your face? Well, the person smoking is blowing into the air, aren't they?

Second hand meat exposure?

I like movie theater hot dogs by the dozen

[Anonymous]

Well then, find some new friends, as these are nuts