A friend does not want to socialize with us anymore as couples because we eat meat!
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Anonymous
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This is someone I am pretty friendly with via my kids school. Our husbands got along too. We have gone out for dinner with them maybe 12-13 times since we met about 2 years ago. She and her husband became hardcore vegan in last month. We have gone to a few restaurants (last few times) where my husband ordered a steak, as he generally does and I ordered a chicken dish. They ordered some vegan dish.
We have done it this way ever since they became vegan. Well.......3 days ago I get a call from her telling me she needs to speak to me in person. We agree to meet for coffee, I am thinking its something about one of the kids. She could have knocked me over with a feather by telling me that they are both uncomfortable when we are in a restaurant with them and ordering steak medium and whatever it is I am ordering. She said she cannot handle even looking at it and they are just too uncomfortable so while "they like us, they would like to continue to see us for occasions that do no involve eating"! She said maybe drinks, a movie, etc...... OK someone please clue me in. Is this the norm? Am I maybe totally clueless as to how being friends with vegans work? Is she being a nut job or am I just insensitive? Please help, I am still reeling.... |
Anonymous
| Dump this friend |
Anonymous
| They’re newbies and super zealous. It may or may not fade and go back to normal. Vegan friends from early college dats behaved this way, our current adult vegan friends do not. I would consider ordering vegetarian to ease things, or use it as a chance to check out some great vegan spots. But that’s by my choice not the need of someone else. |
Anonymous
| Tell her "Aw, that's too BAHHHHD" and really bleat it when you say it. |
Anonymous
It's the norm among the vegans I know- they are grossed out by meat. I usually order a veg dish when I go out to dinner with my vegan friends. I know everyone will say they're "crazy" and so forth, but my vegan friend seriously could not eat if I ordered a burger. He wasn't judging me, he could just literally smell the meat and watch me chomp on it- grossed him out. Why don't you offer to go to veg restaurants- really good vegetarian restaurants are tasty. Your DH can suck it up for one night. |
Anonymous
It’s a bit nutty...but I’d humor them as they figure it out if they meant a lot to me. I’d also communicate my confusion and try to work it out instead of following directions. |
Anonymous
| Meh. I feel the same way about a couple we used to hang with who are now “vegan.” |
Anonymous
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I was vegetarian for 29 years and vegan for 3. I never expected anyone to alter their own eating because of my beliefs or preferences. Lots of people asked if I minded if they ate meat in front of me. I said I didn't, of course they can do what they want.
Maybe it's the newness of the decision, and they will become more comfortable with their own choices/ able to eat with you again. |
Anonymous
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I live in SF where a TON of people are vegan or vegetarian. Nobody would ever do this. They might ask you to grill their food first, before you grill meat, so their food doesn't touch animal blood, but that's it.
Just say okay and go to movies with them. They're new. They'll calm down. |
Anonymous
| They are annoying. Good riddance. |
Anonymous
Hahaha!! I don’t eat meat and am often pretty grossed out by it, but I hide that fact and don’t ask anyone to change their eating habits. I think she was honest with you, and if it really grosses them out that much it’s better for everyone if you do non-food things. In the end it’s nbd. But it’ll be harder to get together unless you and your husband eat vegan or at least vegetarian around them. |
Anonymous
That's funny! But, seriously, if you really like these people go to vegan restaurants with them. If, like me, the mere thought of consuming vegan "foods" repulses you, find another activity to do as couples. Hiking, biking, bowling, etc -just don't eat. |
Anonymous
| If you like them, either schedule non food things or eat vegetarian when you are with them. If you don’t like them, then no big loss. |
Anonymous
| She sounds like she is trying to advance her personal brand by being a vegan evangelist. That’s cool that she’s been vegan for an entire month and all... it’s a little crazy that she’s placing demands on you relative to her veganism. It’s up to you how to handle but I think you know it’s going to be hard to stay friends with someone who acts like this about ANY issue. Veganism is beside the point— the problem is she’s forcing you to respond in a certain way. |
Anonymous
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Do you really need people like that to socialize with at any type of gathering? You are better off without their nonsense.
Consider yourself lucky to be rid of them. |