A friend does not want to socialize with us anymore as couples because we eat meat!

[Anonymous]

If she goes to a non vegan restaurant what does she expect? She should tell you in advance that it it is a real problem for her and that’s OK. If you’re ok dining vegan then go to a vegan place with her.

[Anonymous]

I think you're mischaracterizing the situation. She's explicitly said that she does want to socialize with you, she just doesn't want to eat with you.

If you had a friend who had nearly died from alcoholism, and came out of rehab needing to avoid even being around anyone drinking, would you order a glass of wine with dinner?

If a certain type of cuisine makes you nauseous just to smell it, what would you do if you had a friend that insisted you had to join them for dinner there? Would you go along and just hope you didn't throw up at dinner?

These friends have pointed out that they are vegan and can't tolerate others eating meat. You can choose to do non-food socializing with them. You can choose to go to vegan or vegetarian restaurants with them. Or you can choose to end the friendship. Take your pick, but don't characterize this as them not wanting to socialize with you because they don't want to see you eat meat.

And for the record, I'm a pretty normal omnivore with very few eating restrictions. But I am considerate of my friends when I eat with someone with a food restriction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you're mischaracterizing the situation. She's explicitly said that she does want to socialize with you, she just doesn't want to eat with you.

If you had a friend who had nearly died from alcoholism, and came out of rehab needing to avoid even being around anyone drinking, would you order a glass of wine with dinner?

If a certain type of cuisine makes you nauseous just to smell it, what would you do if you had a friend that insisted you had to join them for dinner there? Would you go along and just hope you didn't throw up at dinner?

These friends have pointed out that they are vegan and can't tolerate others eating meat. You can choose to do non-food socializing with them. You can choose to go to vegan or vegetarian restaurants with them. Or you can choose to end the friendship. Take your pick, but don't characterize this as them not wanting to socialize with you because they don't want to see you eat meat.

And for the record, I'm a pretty normal omnivore with very few eating restrictions. But I am considerate of my friends when I eat with someone with a food restriction.

Please. This is not a "food restriction." It's a personal choice that this "friend" does not have a right to impose on anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Well, on the one hand, they're extreme, but on the other, she cared enough about you to actually get together with you and tell you this in person, even offering to see you in non-restaurant locales.

So all in all, I think she's a kind friend and if you like her, you could take her up on her offer!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Well, on the one hand, they're extreme, but on the other, she cared enough about you to actually get together with you and tell you this in person, even offering to see you in non-restaurant locales.

So all in all, I think she's a kind friend and if you like her, you could take her up on her offer!

PP again - our friends' daughter decided to become vegetarian. Every time we invite them (and we don't invite them any less often than before), I make a vegetarian meal. It forces me to branch out and doesn't do us any harm health-wise! If you were a good friend, you could offer to eat vegan when you go out with them.

[Anonymous]

New vegans are bat shit crazy. Truly. I have a family member like that his and it’s the ONLY thing she can talk about. And posts 10 times a day online pics of her activism, and pics of baby cows.

[Anonymous]

What bothers me is that she could have just engineered the situation behind the scenes without saying anything to you explicitly. For example, they could have simply declined dinner invitations and suggest a movie or drinks instead. Or she could have been more diplomatic about it and made it about avoiding all non-vegan restaurants in general. But instead, she made a huge deal about telling you in person and making it about your food choices. Sounds like she was trying to be morally superior or shame you for eating meat.

And to that I say, no thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are annoying. Good riddance.

This. I would dump them without a second thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her "Aw, that's too BAHHHHD" and really bleat it when you say it.

"we should just MOOOOOVE on."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her "Aw, that's too BAHHHHD" and really bleat it when you say it.

"we should just MOOOOOVE on."

They need to buck-buck-buuuck up.

[Anonymous]

Meat really smells. I find myself moving away when friends get fragrant meat dishes.
Anyway - why would you order a bloody steak in front of some vegans?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meat really smells. I find myself moving away when friends get fragrant meat dishes.
Anyway - why would you order a bloody steak in front of some vegans?

Meat smells amazing to meat eaters. And steaks aren’t always bloody. Such hyperbole.

[Anonymous]

I think watching Vegucated on Netflix might help you as to why they change their perspective on eating meat.
With most Vegans it is not the same as with Vegetarians, it is not about the diet, it is about philosophy and compassion to animal suffering. I would strongly suggest you watch the documentary and you might better understand how they feel and why they feel like that and it can also may help you to make the right decision whatever you feel it should be.
There is a lot about how animals are raised and treated that is not a common knowledge and this is not something you see on TV and otherwise. It is really eye opening documentary. Might save your friendship and might inspire you to change few things in your own life.

[Anonymous]

So do these people have trouble even being in a restaurant where meat is served? Even if you and DH don't order a meat dish, wouldn't the meat ordered by a nearby table be an issue?

I remember the old saying: "How do you know someone is vegan?"
"Don't worry, they'll tell you as soon as you meet them."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What bothers me is that she could have just engineered the situation behind the scenes without saying anything to you explicitly. For example, they could have simply declined dinner invitations and suggest a movie or drinks instead. Or she could have been more diplomatic about it and made it about avoiding all non-vegan restaurants in general. But instead, she made a huge deal about telling you in person and making it about your food choices. Sounds like she was trying to be morally superior or shame you for eating meat.

And to that I say, no thanks.

… OR she did not want to lie and tried a more direct approach? Why everything has to be about deception? Honesty is the best policy right?