My wife is an entitled bum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Troll or not, OP has shown that the hypocrisy of some women knows no bounds.

How? Women who don't want to do housework are advised to outsource all the time (every time), and their husbands usually aren't packing their lunches. OP has 10 extra hours of free time in his week, so he should be doing more of the housework. He shouldn't be doing all of it, which is why everyone agrees his wife is being unreasonable by vetoing a cleaning service.

I'm one who thought OP was a troll trying to prove ~reverse sexism~ but the thread didn't even work out that way. Everyone's saying the same thing they always say; the genders are just reversed.

Women are calling him names for expecting her to do some housework, telling him to deal with it, telling him he is an asshole for not "cleaning as he goes" and leaving dishes after he cooked and cleaned, Etc etc. Please. By all means, pretend you don't get it.

He even said she refuses to hire someone. Doesn't matter, he's still an asshole.

Some of you bring up the fact that she makes a lot more money and works 2 hrs longer. Try flipping that around. Exhausted woman who works 2 hrs less and makes 50% of her lazy bum DH who does no work at home. You women would be tearing his butt apart.

Who knows whether he's a troll but many posters are reacting exactly as expected.

[Anonymous]

She needs to ok a cleaning service OP. It will help both of you and possibly save your marriage. In addition, can you two sit down and divide up some of the chores, based on how much time other of you have?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Troll or not, OP has shown that the hypocrisy of some women knows no bounds.

How? Women who don't want to do housework are advised to outsource all the time (every time), and their husbands usually aren't packing their lunches. OP has 10 extra hours of free time in his week, so he should be doing more of the housework. He shouldn't be doing all of it, which is why everyone agrees his wife is being unreasonable by vetoing a cleaning service.

I'm one who thought OP was a troll trying to prove ~reverse sexism~ but the thread didn't even work out that way. Everyone's saying the same thing they always say; the genders are just reversed.

Women are calling him names for expecting her to do some housework, telling him to deal with it, telling him he is an asshole for not "cleaning as he goes" and leaving dishes after he cooked and cleaned, Etc etc. Please. By all means, pretend you don't get it.

He even said she refuses to hire someone. Doesn't matter, he's still an asshole.

Some of you bring up the fact that she makes a lot more money and works 2 hrs longer. Try flipping that around. Exhausted woman who works 2 hrs less and makes 50% of her lazy bum DH who does no work at home. You women would be tearing his butt apart.

Who knows whether he's a troll but many posters are reacting exactly as expected.

And yet he hasn't been called a golddigger or asked if he deserves it for getting fat, but sure. Men are the saddest.

Exactly one person called him an asshole. All the other advice is spot-on identical to these posts with the genders flipped, but you still really want to feel put upon.

[Anonymous]

OP HEre;

This took some type of turn.
I actually also work a high pressure job, she's just in a more lucrative field.
I am also not expecting her to do half the work. I recognize she works more than me and brings in more cash. That isn't lost on me.
I cook, and not just crap meals, but decent stuff that takes preparation in the morning as well.
I am simply expecting her to do some things around the house. Like doing the dishes after I am done (yes, i do leave dishes overnight like an asshole, i do rinse most of them though)
I expect her to clean up from time to time.
The reason we don't have cleaners come on the weekends is because both of us don't want to stay home.

IT's also not as if she works 9-8 daily, lately its been 9-7, while i've been at work about the same time. It's also not as if i make no cash. She is just an attorney at a big firm and i work as an attorney at a smaller place.

We got into a fight this morning about this, which is why i called her a bum. I do regret that, but I still think she is taking advantage of me. She isn't a mean spirited and is grateful for the food i make. But instead of thanks, and delicious, i would like more help from time to time.

And we're likely not having kids. 1st world problems here.
People here are always quick to attack.

[Anonymous]

She thinks the same about the man she married who makes half of what she makes and works fewer hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP HEre;

This took some type of turn.
I actually also work a high pressure job, she's just in a more lucrative field.
I am also not expecting her to do half the work. I recognize she works more than me and brings in more cash. That isn't lost on me.
I cook, and not just crap meals, but decent stuff that takes preparation in the morning as well.
I am simply expecting her to do some things around the house. Like doing the dishes after I am done (yes, i do leave dishes overnight like an asshole, i do rinse most of them though)
I expect her to clean up from time to time.
The reason we don't have cleaners come on the weekends is because both of us don't want to stay home.

IT's also not as if she works 9-8 daily, lately its been 9-7, while i've been at work about the same time. It's also not as if i make no cash. She is just an attorney at a big firm and i work as an attorney at a smaller place.

We got into a fight this morning about this, which is why i called her a bum. I do regret that, but I still think she is taking advantage of me. She isn't a mean spirited and is grateful for the food i make. But instead of thanks, and delicious, i would like more help from time to time.

And we're likely not having kids. 1st world problems here.
People here are always quick to attack.

Not trying to offend, but 9-7 or 8 doesn't sound particularly rough unless you have long commutes? In either case, you both should set some time on Sunday to meal prep/cook and clean together. DH and I do this and not only does it help the weekdays be so much less stressful, but convinced us to get bi-weekly cleaners.

[Anonymous]

You can come replace my husband any day OP. Hopefully you're also good looking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think your wife is an entitled bum. I think you're an asshole, for multiple reasons. Who the hell leaves dirty dishes overnight! Why don't you clean as you go when you're cooking dinner? Once I put things in the oven or it's simmering on the stove, I'm cleaning up all the prep dishes.

She has a high pressure job if it's DOUBLE your salary. Has it occurred to you she needs decompression time?

Why do you need someone to pack your lunch for you? Are you a kindergartner?

+1

[Anonymous]

This is not that difficult. She earns more money. She can use that money to hire cleaners to come on a Saturday. Or get a high school kid to come and tidy up an hour a day. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP HEre;

This took some type of turn.
I actually also work a high pressure job, she's just in a more lucrative field.
I am also not expecting her to do half the work. I recognize she works more than me and brings in more cash. That isn't lost on me.
I cook, and not just crap meals, but decent stuff that takes preparation in the morning as well.
I am simply expecting her to do some things around the house. Like doing the dishes after I am done (yes, i do leave dishes overnight like an asshole, i do rinse most of them though)
I expect her to clean up from time to time.
The reason we don't have cleaners come on the weekends is because both of us don't want to stay home.

IT's also not as if she works 9-8 daily, lately its been 9-7, while i've been at work about the same time. It's also not as if i make no cash. She is just an attorney at a big firm and i work as an attorney at a smaller place.

We got into a fight this morning about this, which is why i called her a bum. I do regret that, but I still think she is taking advantage of me. She isn't a mean spirited and is grateful for the food i make. But instead of thanks, and delicious, i would like more help from time to time.

And we're likely not having kids. 1st world problems here.
People here are always quick to attack.

You sound lazy. Get a better job. If you cook, you clean up the mess. I wouldn't want you to cook and leave me a huge pile of dishes. Clean as you go. I'd rather get carryout on the way home. She works hard, you don't. You need to be more grateful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP HEre;

This took some type of turn.
I actually also work a high pressure job, she's just in a more lucrative field.
I am also not expecting her to do half the work. I recognize she works more than me and brings in more cash. That isn't lost on me.
I cook, and not just crap meals, but decent stuff that takes preparation in the morning as well.
I am simply expecting her to do some things around the house. Like doing the dishes after I am done (yes, i do leave dishes overnight like an asshole, i do rinse most of them though)
I expect her to clean up from time to time.
The reason we don't have cleaners come on the weekends is because both of us don't want to stay home.

IT's also not as if she works 9-8 daily, lately its been 9-7, while i've been at work about the same time. It's also not as if i make no cash. She is just an attorney at a big firm and i work as an attorney at a smaller place.

We got into a fight this morning about this, which is why i called her a bum. I do regret that, but I still think she is taking advantage of me. She isn't a mean spirited and is grateful for the food i make. But instead of thanks, and delicious, i would like more help from time to time.

And we're likely not having kids. 1st world problems here.
People here are always quick to attack.

You sound lazy. Get a better job. If you cook, you clean up the mess. I wouldn't want you to cook and leave me a huge pile of dishes. Clean as you go. I'd rather get carryout on the way home. She works hard, you don't. You need to be more grateful.

How does he sounds lazy? He basically works 10 hour days and then does all the cleaning. Women are attacking this guy for fun and with no reasoning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP HEre;

This took some type of turn.
I actually also work a high pressure job, she's just in a more lucrative field.
I am also not expecting her to do half the work. I recognize she works more than me and brings in more cash. That isn't lost on me.
I cook, and not just crap meals, but decent stuff that takes preparation in the morning as well.
I am simply expecting her to do some things around the house. Like doing the dishes after I am done (yes, i do leave dishes overnight like an asshole, i do rinse most of them though)
I expect her to clean up from time to time.
The reason we don't have cleaners come on the weekends is because both of us don't want to stay home.

IT's also not as if she works 9-8 daily, lately its been 9-7, while i've been at work about the same time. It's also not as if i make no cash. She is just an attorney at a big firm and i work as an attorney at a smaller place.

We got into a fight this morning about this, which is why i called her a bum. I do regret that, but I still think she is taking advantage of me. She isn't a mean spirited and is grateful for the food i make. But instead of thanks, and delicious, i would like more help from time to time.

And we're likely not having kids. 1st world problems here.
People here are always quick to attack.

Dude. Hire an insured and bonded service. Be there the first once or twice they come. Then, magically, you won't care anymore because you will be so happy your house is clean and you aren't fighting about it.

What is it you think will happen if you let cleaners in your home? If it's a legit company, they aren't going to risk it all on stealing your stuff and then shutting down and fleeing town. If their employees do steal your stuff (never happened to me in 20+ years of having cleaners, but whatevs, we all have our irrational fears), they will pay you for it out of their insurance so that they can keep their business open.

[Anonymous]

Did OP say whether he is fat, or she is fat. That could add to it. I mean if she just goes from work to home, eats and does that routine...she is going to gain some weight.

[Anonymous]

I will be the lone female dissenter here and say she should clean up after you cook. My DH does this, even when I was a sahm. Do you have a dishwasher? Why can't she just load everything in there and turn it on? If you don't have one, get a small portable one and just dump everything in there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will be the lone female dissenter here and say she should clean up after you cook. My DH does this, even when I was a sahm. Do you have a dishwasher? Why can't she just load everything in there and turn it on? If you don't have one, get a small portable one and just dump everything in there.

I assume it's for the same reason they don't hire cleaners. They each have weird rules about the household should run that they impose on each other. He probably thinks it's a waste of money to run the dishwasher when it isn't full or something.