MIL is always telling us to dress our 10 month old "as a girl" ... when do we say something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you going to judge her if she does like stereotypically girly things? Most of the parents I know who have this attitude end up with very girly girls. And it's hard for them. Check your own inner prejudices. If you're truly going for equality is having some of things typically seems boy and some girl, your buying just as much into gender stereotypes. It shouldn't be this tortured. Buy plain clothes and plain toys. Let her decide what she likes later.

Not at all. I really want her to feel like she can be whatever she wants to be.

Oh, for pete freakin' sakes.

I'm going to give you a pass, OP, because you're obviously a new parent with a lot to learn.

What if she wants to grow up to be a murdering psychopath?

And I'm going to assume that you usually are a reasonable person who doesn't take people's comments to ridiculous endpoints.

Obviously I don't want her to be a murdering psychopath.

Why is that obvious? Your exact words are, "I really want her to feel like she can be whatever she wants to be.'"

You will learn, OP, that the definition of being a good parent is providing guidance. Children want to be all sorts of crazy things, at one point or another.

Oh for fuck's sake. So can I expect my kid to want to be a murdering psychopath at some point?

But no -- you're totally right -- I plan to give zero guidance to my kid. You've got it 100% right because you're a perfect parent and I'm an imbecile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you going to judge her if she does like stereotypically girly things? Most of the parents I know who have this attitude end up with very girly girls. And it's hard for them. Check your own inner prejudices. If you're truly going for equality is having some of things typically seems boy and some girl, your buying just as much into gender stereotypes. It shouldn't be this tortured. Buy plain clothes and plain toys. Let her decide what she likes later.

Right. And I hope you do, too, OP. May there be a lot of pink sparkles and twirls in your future.

LOL -- I never said I'd have a problem with her being "girly." I said I want to make sure she knows she has CHOICES.

I love dresses. I also love star wars, football, and baseball.

For you to 1) assume I have some problem with people being "girly," and 2) then go ahead and wish something on me that you think will make me uncomfortable, is just weird.

You do realize you are making the choice for her by imposing your ideals. You are going to confuse her and could cause lots of issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you going to judge her if she does like stereotypically girly things? Most of the parents I know who have this attitude end up with very girly girls. And it's hard for them. Check your own inner prejudices. If you're truly going for equality is having some of things typically seems boy and some girl, your buying just as much into gender stereotypes. It shouldn't be this tortured. Buy plain clothes and plain toys. Let her decide what she likes later.

Right. And I hope you do, too, OP. May there be a lot of pink sparkles and twirls in your future.

LOL -- I never said I'd have a problem with her being "girly." I said I want to make sure she knows she has CHOICES.

I love dresses. I also love star wars, football, and baseball.

For you to 1) assume I have some problem with people being "girly," and 2) then go ahead and wish something on me that you think will make me uncomfortable, is just weird.

You do realize you are making the choice for her by imposing your ideals. You are going to confuse her and could cause lots of issues.

And what, pray tell, do you think my ideals are? Like I've said a million times, the girl has dresses, pants, skirts, overalls, onesies, sweatshirts, etc. in her closet. How does having this array of clothing confuse her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you going to judge her if she does like stereotypically girly things? Most of the parents I know who have this attitude end up with very girly girls. And it's hard for them. Check your own inner prejudices. If you're truly going for equality is having some of things typically seems boy and some girl, your buying just as much into gender stereotypes. It shouldn't be this tortured. Buy plain clothes and plain toys. Let her decide what she likes later.

Not at all. I really want her to feel like she can be whatever she wants to be.

Oh, for pete freakin' sakes.

I'm going to give you a pass, OP, because you're obviously a new parent with a lot to learn.

What if she wants to grow up to be a murdering psychopath?

And I'm going to assume that you usually are a reasonable person who doesn't take people's comments to ridiculous endpoints.

Obviously I don't want her to be a murdering psychopath.

Why is that obvious? Your exact words are, "I really want her to feel like she can be whatever she wants to be.'"

You will learn, OP, that the definition of being a good parent is providing guidance. Children want to be all sorts of crazy things, at one point or another.

Oh for fuck's sake. So can I expect my kid to want to be a murdering psychopath at some point?

But no -- you're totally right -- I plan to give zero guidance to my kid. You've got it 100% right because you're a perfect parent and I'm an imbecile.

We were beginning to wonder....

[Anonymous]

Although it is a ridiculous discussion if you keep in mind the child is 10 months old, it has to be noted that young girls rely on their mother's guidance on how to be a girl. It really doesn't hurt to teach your child to dress well from a relatively early age. It doesn't mean you have to force things or make her be what she doesn't want to be. Take it from someone who lacked that type of guidance--it messes up a woman's life in more ways than one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you going to judge her if she does like stereotypically girly things? Most of the parents I know who have this attitude end up with very girly girls. And it's hard for them. Check your own inner prejudices. If you're truly going for equality is having some of things typically seems boy and some girl, your buying just as much into gender stereotypes. It shouldn't be this tortured. Buy plain clothes and plain toys. Let her decide what she likes later.

Not at all. I really want her to feel like she can be whatever she wants to be.

Oh, for pete freakin' sakes.

I'm going to give you a pass, OP, because you're obviously a new parent with a lot to learn.

What if she wants to grow up to be a murdering psychopath?

And I'm going to assume that you usually are a reasonable person who doesn't take people's comments to ridiculous endpoints.

Obviously I don't want her to be a murdering psychopath.

Why is that obvious? Your exact words are, "I really want her to feel like she can be whatever she wants to be.'"

You will learn, OP, that the definition of being a good parent is providing guidance. Children want to be all sorts of crazy things, at one point or another.

Oh for fuck's sake. So can I expect my kid to want to be a murdering psychopath at some point?

But no -- you're totally right -- I plan to give zero guidance to my kid. You've got it 100% right because you're a perfect parent and I'm an imbecile.

We were beginning to wonder....

Who is "we"? The majority of people posting have agreed with me, and have cited their own, similar experiences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Although it is a ridiculous discussion if you keep in mind the child is 10 months old, it has to be noted that young girls rely on their mother's guidance on how to be a girl. It really doesn't hurt to teach your child to dress well from a relatively early age. It doesn't mean you have to force things or make her be what she doesn't want to be. Take it from someone who lacked that type of guidance--it messes up a woman's life in more ways than one.

Please define "dress well" and explain how I'm determined to not provide her guidance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you going to judge her if she does like stereotypically girly things? Most of the parents I know who have this attitude end up with very girly girls. And it's hard for them. Check your own inner prejudices. If you're truly going for equality is having some of things typically seems boy and some girl, your buying just as much into gender stereotypes. It shouldn't be this tortured. Buy plain clothes and plain toys. Let her decide what she likes later.

Right. And I hope you do, too, OP. May there be a lot of pink sparkles and twirls in your future.

LOL -- I never said I'd have a problem with her being "girly." I said I want to make sure she knows she has CHOICES.

I love dresses. I also love star wars, football, and baseball.

For you to 1) assume I have some problem with people being "girly," and 2) then go ahead and wish something on me that you think will make me uncomfortable, is just weird.

You do realize you are making the choice for her by imposing your ideals. You are going to confuse her and could cause lots of issues.

And what, pray tell, do you think my ideals are? Like I've said a million times, the girl has dresses, pants, skirts, overalls, onesies, sweatshirts, etc. in her closet. How does having this array of clothing confuse her?

And those are fine but get them in the girls department, not boys. You are buying boys to prove a point and statement you are trying to make. You are going overboard and will end up with a kid with gender identity issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you going to judge her if she does like stereotypically girly things? Most of the parents I know who have this attitude end up with very girly girls. And it's hard for them. Check your own inner prejudices. If you're truly going for equality is having some of things typically seems boy and some girl, your buying just as much into gender stereotypes. It shouldn't be this tortured. Buy plain clothes and plain toys. Let her decide what she likes later.

Right. And I hope you do, too, OP. May there be a lot of pink sparkles and twirls in your future.

LOL -- I never said I'd have a problem with her being "girly." I said I want to make sure she knows she has CHOICES.

I love dresses. I also love star wars, football, and baseball.

For you to 1) assume I have some problem with people being "girly," and 2) then go ahead and wish something on me that you think will make me uncomfortable, is just weird.

You do realize you are making the choice for her by imposing your ideals. You are going to confuse her and could cause lots of issues.

And what, pray tell, do you think my ideals are? Like I've said a million times, the girl has dresses, pants, skirts, overalls, onesies, sweatshirts, etc. in her closet. How does having this array of clothing confuse her?

And those are fine but get them in the girls department, not boys. You are buying boys to prove a point and statement you are trying to make. You are going overboard and will end up with a kid with gender identity issues.

Right, but at least OP can feel good about herself (themself?), because she has raised a PC child. Oh, and defied her in-laws. That is also important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Although it is a ridiculous discussion if you keep in mind the child is 10 months old, it has to be noted that young girls rely on their mother's guidance on how to be a girl. It really doesn't hurt to teach your child to dress well from a relatively early age. It doesn't mean you have to force things or make her be what she doesn't want to be. Take it from someone who lacked that type of guidance--it messes up a woman's life in more ways than one.

No it does not "mess up a woman's life" if she doesn't "dress well" - I have zero fashion sense and interest, but I still manage to be a competent professional, well-adjusted member of society, that can provide for myself and my family....

[Anonymous]

Oh my, this thread has jumped the shark. Time to walk away, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh my, this thread has jumped the shark. Time to walk away, OP.

Seriously. This turned into quite the sh*tshow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you going to judge her if she does like stereotypically girly things? Most of the parents I know who have this attitude end up with very girly girls. And it's hard for them. Check your own inner prejudices. If you're truly going for equality is having some of things typically seems boy and some girl, your buying just as much into gender stereotypes. It shouldn't be this tortured. Buy plain clothes and plain toys. Let her decide what she likes later.

Right. And I hope you do, too, OP. May there be a lot of pink sparkles and twirls in your future.

LOL -- I never said I'd have a problem with her being "girly." I said I want to make sure she knows she has CHOICES.

I love dresses. I also love star wars, football, and baseball.

For you to 1) assume I have some problem with people being "girly," and 2) then go ahead and wish something on me that you think will make me uncomfortable, is just weird.

You do realize you are making the choice for her by imposing your ideals. You are going to confuse her and could cause lots of issues.

And what, pray tell, do you think my ideals are? Like I've said a million times, the girl has dresses, pants, skirts, overalls, onesies, sweatshirts, etc. in her closet. How does having this array of clothing confuse her?

And those are fine but get them in the girls department, not boys. You are buying boys to prove a point and statement you are trying to make. You are going overboard and will end up with a kid with gender identity issues.

hahahahha, what?! i buy what i think is cute and functional. i found these adorable dinosaur overalls and wanted them for her, so i got them. i don't go into a store and say, "you know what? i'm going to skip over all of these girls clothes i like, and get her boys clothes, so that i can make a point."

also, do you have any experience with gender identity issues? how in the hell does buying clothes in the girls' and boys' departments give someone "gender identity issues"? all of my experience has told me that showing kids they have choices is what helps avoid gender identity issues.

[Anonymous]

I feel like there is one poster on this thread that is mentally ill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you going to judge her if she does like stereotypically girly things? Most of the parents I know who have this attitude end up with very girly girls. And it's hard for them. Check your own inner prejudices. If you're truly going for equality is having some of things typically seems boy and some girl, your buying just as much into gender stereotypes. It shouldn't be this tortured. Buy plain clothes and plain toys. Let her decide what she likes later.

Right. And I hope you do, too, OP. May there be a lot of pink sparkles and twirls in your future.

LOL -- I never said I'd have a problem with her being "girly." I said I want to make sure she knows she has CHOICES.

I love dresses. I also love star wars, football, and baseball.

For you to 1) assume I have some problem with people being "girly," and 2) then go ahead and wish something on me that you think will make me uncomfortable, is just weird.

You do realize you are making the choice for her by imposing your ideals. You are going to confuse her and could cause lots of issues.

And what, pray tell, do you think my ideals are? Like I've said a million times, the girl has dresses, pants, skirts, overalls, onesies, sweatshirts, etc. in her closet. How does having this array of clothing confuse her?

And those are fine but get them in the girls department, not boys. You are buying boys to prove a point and statement you are trying to make. You are going overboard and will end up with a kid with gender identity issues.

Right, but at least OP can feel good about herself (themself?), because she has raised a PC child. Oh, and defied her in-laws. That is also important.

Wow. First of all, I'm not gender queer, but nice try with the "themself." Second of all, outside of these comments, I love my MIL. I have no desire to "defy her."