MIL is always telling us to dress our 10 month old "as a girl" ... when do we say something?

[Anonymous]

I don't believe in the whole be who you want to be bull shit. She is a girl she needs to dress as such. Letting kids dress themselves leads to dying hair, tattoos, piercings. Stop it now no one wants to see that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't believe in the whole be who you want to be bull shit. She is a girl she needs to dress as such. Letting kids dress themselves leads to dying hair, tattoos, piercings. Stop it now no one wants to see that.

Yup and forcing them to dress within a rigidly defined concept of what is appropriate has never ever backfired! Definitely you've thought this one thorough troll!

[Anonymous]

Op I'm sorry there are so many idiots in this thread. I dress my daughter in a variety of clothes. Sometimes it's dresses or skirts and sometimes it's t shirts with sharks or dinosaurs. There is no wrong way to be a woman.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:The amount of internalized misogyny and acceptance of machoism on this thread is disappointing, yet predictable. Putting a baby in clothing of any type, color, or ruffle volume will not harm them, confuse them, or other otherwise effect them. The projection of gender stereotypes that are know to be harmful throughout life, on the other hand, will harm both your child and those around them.

It's "affect," smarty-pants, not "effect."

I guess this is what your meaningless degree in Women's Gender Studies taught you.

You're really pretty angry. What do you have against women's gender studies?

DP. Not me. Billions of years of life on planet Earth are against WGS. Plus, it didn't teach you English.

Not the PP but...
One of those interesting things I learned from gender studies was the gender performance is often dictated more by culture and society.

And on an unrelated note pink used to be a Boy Color and blue was a boy color. In the Victorian era boys wore dresses until they were 3. There are innate aspects of gender but it is not as dyed in wool as many conservatives would believe

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op I'm sorry there are so many idiots in this thread. I dress my daughter in a variety of clothes. Sometimes it's dresses or skirts and sometimes it's t shirts with sharks or dinosaurs. There is no wrong way to be a woman.

OP here -- thank you. I'm disappointed, but not surprised, to see so much intolerance on this thread. My only motivation in buying my daughter a variety of clothing is to ensure she feels that she has a choice. Even though she doesn't know what's going on right now, I figure it's never too early to start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The amount of internalized misogyny and acceptance of machoism on this thread is disappointing, yet predictable. Putting a baby in clothing of any type, color, or ruffle volume will not harm them, confuse them, or other otherwise effect them. The projection of gender stereotypes that are know to be harmful throughout life, on the other hand, will harm both your child and those around them.

It's "affect," smarty-pants, not "effect."

I guess this is what your meaningless degree in Women's Gender Studies taught you.

You're really pretty angry. What do you have against women's gender studies?

DP. Not me. Billions of years of life on planet Earth are against WGS. Plus, it didn't teach you English.

Not the PP but...
One of those interesting things I learned from gender studies was the gender performance is often dictated more by culture and society.

And on an unrelated note pink used to be a Boy Color and blue was a boy color. In the Victorian era boys wore dresses until they were 3. There are innate aspects of gender but it is not as dyed in wool as many conservatives would believe

Shhh ... don't tell the crazies on this thread that! It'll shatter their perfect world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op I'm sorry there are so many idiots in this thread. I dress my daughter in a variety of clothes. Sometimes it's dresses or skirts and sometimes it's t shirts with sharks or dinosaurs. There is no wrong way to be a woman.

Oh yes, there is. Anyone who's lived abroad can attest to that. Too many American females are nowhere near being women despite having ovaries

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound pretentious OP and like one of those try hard moms who *wants* a trans child so that you look cool.

LOL. Wow. Congrats -- you figured me out. I am just DYING for a trans kid. You know what would really tickle me about having a trans kid? Knowing that douchebags like you would make my kid feel like shit for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op I'm sorry there are so many idiots in this thread. I dress my daughter in a variety of clothes. Sometimes it's dresses or skirts and sometimes it's t shirts with sharks or dinosaurs. There is no wrong way to be a woman.

OP here -- thank you. I'm disappointed, but not surprised, to see so much intolerance on this thread. My only motivation in buying my daughter a variety of clothing is to ensure she feels that she has a choice. Even though she doesn't know what's going on right now, I figure it's never too early to start.

I think many of us could not care less what you dress your daughter in, it's the weird issue warrior approach and offense you take at relatively innocuous things poor grandma has said. When I see a little girl in boy's clothes, I assume they are hand me downs and she has an older brother. And would think the better of you for not wasting money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op I'm sorry there are so many idiots in this thread. I dress my daughter in a variety of clothes. Sometimes it's dresses or skirts and sometimes it's t shirts with sharks or dinosaurs. There is no wrong way to be a woman.

Oh yes, there is. Anyone who's lived abroad can attest to that. Too many American females are nowhere near being women despite having ovaries

I'm unaware of criteria for being a woman other than having two X chromosomes. What's your criteria?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say something immediately, but keep it light. "Are you worried that we'll forget she's a girl if she's not wearing a dress?" Etc. And I say this as someone who loves little girl's clothing, but thinks people hung on on whether an infant "looks like a girl" or "looks like a boy" are being silly, but also expressing some underlying anxieties.

+1

I wouldn't stress too much since she lives far away. If crazy MIL lived closer I'd have a deeper discussion about it.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Although it is a ridiculous discussion if you keep in mind the child is 10 months old, it has to be noted that young girls rely on their mother's guidance on how to be a girl. It really doesn't hurt to teach your child to dress well from a relatively early age. It doesn't mean you have to force things or make her be what she doesn't want to be. Take it from someone who lacked that type of guidance--it messes up a woman's life in more ways than one.

No it does not "mess up a woman's life" if she doesn't "dress well" - I have zero fashion sense and interest, but I still manage to be a competent professional, well-adjusted member of society, that can provide for myself and my family....

I'm not talking about fashion. But you wouldn't know that.

Then what the hell are you talking about? If you dress your baby girl in pants sometimes she'll be messed up as an adult?

No, PP. She won't. Calm down. There is no point in responding if you don't care to read the message first.

You're talking to multiple people here - what do you mean by "dress well" then?

Appropriately for any given event, tastefully, attractively. This has little to do with the latest designer trends PP has no interest in. She claims to be a successful professional, so having to explain the importance of visual impressions to a successful individual seems strange.

Girls are not born knowing how to be successful women. They don't acquire this knowledge through osmosis. You can waste your time complaining about inherent misogyny of the society favoring likable and visually appealing individuals. Or you can help your daughter embrace her womanhood and build a fulfilling life for herself instead of looking like a mad scientist who will be doomed to raise cats in her 40s. Your choice.

Melania, is that you?

So if the girl actually is a scientist, is she supposed to wear a flowered frock instead of a white lab coat? Or pants on a dig? Or a giant snow parka if she's working on the tundra? Maybe as a cop, she should be sure to stop and apply makeup while she's responding to an emergency call.

I imagine you think women in pant suits are unfeminine and unprofessional.

Your imagination is poor. Your view on being feminine is narrow-minded and stereotypical. You should get out more

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op I'm sorry there are so many idiots in this thread. I dress my daughter in a variety of clothes. Sometimes it's dresses or skirts and sometimes it's t shirts with sharks or dinosaurs. There is no wrong way to be a woman.

Oh yes, there is. Anyone who's lived abroad can attest to that. Too many American females are nowhere near being women despite having ovaries

Idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't believe in the whole be who you want to be bull shit. She is a girl she needs to dress as such. Letting kids dress themselves leads to dying hair, tattoos, piercings. Stop it now no one wants to see that.

Idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op I'm sorry there are so many idiots in this thread. I dress my daughter in a variety of clothes. Sometimes it's dresses or skirts and sometimes it's t shirts with sharks or dinosaurs. There is no wrong way to be a woman.

OP here -- thank you. I'm disappointed, but not surprised, to see so much intolerance on this thread. My only motivation in buying my daughter a variety of clothing is to ensure she feels that she has a choice. Even though she doesn't know what's going on right now, I figure it's never too early to start.

I think many of us could not care less what you dress your daughter in, it's the weird issue warrior approach and offense you take at relatively innocuous things poor grandma has said. When I see a little girl in boy's clothes, I assume they are hand me downs and she has an older brother. And would think the better of you for not wasting money.

Well, most of the people posting on this thread agree with me, and have had similar experiences. Those so-called innocuous things can really mess a kid up if they continue through adolescence. Didn't happen to me, but it did happen to my sister, who is straight, but not particularly girly.