How does a parent recover from this?

[Anonymous]

OP, is there a chance he's done something to your child(ren)? Make sure you investigate that.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't seem possible that if what OP describes occurred and that CPS and the police were initially involved, that they wouldn't be pursuing it. I am a social worker and yes, CPS can leave something to desired but in a situation like this where a nine year old was sexually assaulted and there are other children in the home, they would certainly at the very least open up an investigation. And for the mother to just say "I was raped as a child, it's no big deal" also seems unfathomable. Something is off here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't seem possible that if what OP describes occurred and that CPS and the police were initially involved, that they wouldn't be pursuing it. I am a social worker and yes, CPS can leave something to desired but in a situation like this where a nine year old was sexually assaulted and there are other children in the home, they would certainly at the very least open up an investigation. And for the mother to just say "I was raped as a child, it's no big deal" also seems unfathomable. Something is off here.

OP again and yes something does seems off and it's a damn assbackward town where I'm from. My sister has called the police, and they're saying it was between two kids and that is why it was turned over to CPS. CPS never showed yesterday. They are who is dropping the ball.
I gave my sister some names of therapists and told her about having the kids talk to their school counsellors. She is dead set against anyone at school knowing what happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, is there a chance he's done something to your child(ren)? Make sure you investigate that.

I've been questioning my 9yo but I don't think anything was done to him. Last Thanksgiving was the first time my son had ever met my side of the family and he was with me 24-7 while we were there aside from one afternoon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did the other girls (her own daughters) see this happening or hear it? Does your sister know that? Did they try to stop their brother or call their mom or anything? If the daughters are aware of this issue -- either this time or any previous time -- it's likely they need therapy too and if he isn't going to be removed from the home, they need to learn how to "protect" themselves from him.

If CPS isn't handling this bc they're over-booked or bc there aren't charges being pressed or whatever and she can't independently afford therapy -- she at least needs to teach her daughters that if their brother tries to do anything to them, they must immediately come get her. If they can't for some reason -- they need to be taught to kick this kid in the balls hard bc that'll at least let them get away.

The little girl told my niece who in turn told my sister

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update I don't know how to process. CPS won't take the case. I don't know why. My nephew is with my sister right now, and the other children are in the home. CPS never even showed up today, and the police said its a CPS case, they aren't going to press charges. What in the world?! I am completely numb. Is there no one who wants to get my nephew help? My sister has changed her mind, she wants it all to go away and it looks like that's going to happen.

Troll troll troll troll

You know OP, you can call the police where you sister lives. Tell them exactly what you told us (soccer shorts and all) and they will go talk to him. That is what a good sister would do.

The police already know what happened. Please get out of this thread if you're just going to call me a troll. This is some sick shit to troll about.

[Anonymous]

Something isn't making sense here.

Your sister needs to call CPS and question the lack of action.

[Anonymous]

I don't know why people are assuming that this is a troll. This stuff happens all the time. OP, you are welcome to come here for support. I was assaulted like this by a family member when I was in middle school and I don't think your posts have been farfetched or trollish at all. I do think it's preposterous that the police have dismissed an assault by a 16 year old on a 9 year old as "between kids", but given the rape culture endemic in this country, it is not a complete surprise.

Try to give your sister a little breathing room today -- support her and be available, but you don't need to push everything all at once. Hopefully CPS will get involved soon.

[Anonymous]

OP,
It may be for the best if the police let the parents handle it. I REALLY hate to say this, but I went through this as a child as well. I was abused from age 7-11ish and I finally spoke up and told a friend and my mom found out. She went to the police and I ended up having to go to court and face the person who did this to me and he denied it. It was humiliating and traumatic for me. I still believe it affects me today (many, many years later). I resent my mom for how this was handled. Nothing happened to the person who abused me. I think it's best to let the victims mother handle it. As far as your nephew, I don't know what to say. That's tough. What a horrible situation for everyone involved.

[Anonymous]

Jeff, are you able to determine whether this is a troll? If it's not, then people can stop attacking OP on that ground. If it is, then we can all move on and stop worrying about all the kids involved.

[Anonymous]

Jeff has looked at this (see website feedback), and he does not think it is a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,
It may be for the best if the police let the parents handle it. I REALLY hate to say this, but I went through this as a child as well. I was abused from age 7-11ish and I finally spoke up and told a friend and my mom found out. She went to the police and I ended up having to go to court and face the person who did this to me and he denied it. It was humiliating and traumatic for me. I still believe it affects me today (many, many years later). I resent my mom for how this was handled. Nothing happened to the person who abused me. I think it's best to let the victims mother handle it. As far as your nephew, I don't know what to say. That's tough. What a horrible situation for everyone involved.

I had the opposite experience. An out of state cousin visiting did something very similar to my sister and I (separately but on the same visit). We talked to each other about it but never anyone else. We never saw that kid again and both emerged completely unfazed except with a residual "that sleezy cousin" feeling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,
It may be for the best if the police let the parents handle it. I REALLY hate to say this, but I went through this as a child as well. I was abused from age 7-11ish and I finally spoke up and told a friend and my mom found out. She went to the police and I ended up having to go to court and face the person who did this to me and he denied it. It was humiliating and traumatic for me. I still believe it affects me today (many, many years later). I resent my mom for how this was handled. Nothing happened to the person who abused me. I think it's best to let the victims mother handle it. As far as your nephew, I don't know what to say. That's tough. What a horrible situation for everyone involved.

As a parent, your mom did the right thing. She should have reported it. She cannot change how the police decided to handle it but that is not fair to blame your mom who tried her best to support you. You are blaming the wrong person.

[Anonymous]

What type of sexual assault was it op? My cousin at the age of 17 raped a very young girl and he got sentenced to 20 years in prison because the crime was so awful. He stayed in a juvenile facility until age 25 then went to real prison.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP,
It may be for the best if the police let the parents handle it. I REALLY hate to say this, but I went through this as a child as well. I was abused from age 7-11ish and I finally spoke up and told a friend and my mom found out. She went to the police and I ended up having to go to court and face the person who did this to me and he denied it. It was humiliating and traumatic for me. I still believe it affects me today (many, many years later). I resent my mom for how this was handled. Nothing happened to the person who abused me. I think it's best to let the victims mother handle it. As far as your nephew, I don't know what to say. That's tough. What a horrible situation for everyone involved.

I had the opposite experience. An out of state cousin visiting did something very similar to my sister and I (separately but on the same visit). We talked to each other about it but never anyone else. We never saw that kid again and both emerged completely unfazed except with a residual "that sleezy cousin" feeling.

You're very lucky. I seriously wish that there was someone there to support me at the time I went through it. It became a huge fight between my parents as well, so it wasn't easy for me.