Friends husband touched my butt

[Anonymous]

My SIL was convinced that my cousin touched her boob at a party.

I saw him brush past her and his upper arm *may* have grazed her, but it was nothing like she described.

She would talk about it at almost every family gathering after a few. He was mortified. It was awful.

[Anonymous]

So what? Such a minor thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s SA to me.
I’d tell the friend and report him.

This sound crazy to me. OP is supposed to file a sexual assault report with the police because her friend's husband's hand grazed her butt and it may have been done on purpose -- but maybe not.

OP - If you've been friends with this couple for a while and this is an isolated incident, as I infer from your post, I would give the husband the benefit of the doubt. After this, I'd be on guard. Should there be another incident, it's a different story.

P.S. In case it matters, I'm a woman.

This is quite literally the definition of SA. Attitudes like this are why victims often don’t get proper justice. Benefit of the doubt? What?

DP. I just can’t imagine what the police reaction to this kind of report would be. Someone “might” have intentionally touched her butt at a party. Then the friend might start telling people that OP filed a report and starts to sound ridiculous. Even if it really happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Last night at a party, my friends husband was passing by me and I felt his hand turn to the side and graze over my butt as he passed by me. He didn’t say “sorry!” Or excuse me, it was similar to a butt grab that my husband does in the kitchen or something when he wants to touch me discreetly, kind of a discreet little grab rather than an accidental passing by.

Am I reading too much into it? I was a bit shocked and didn’t say anything.

What kind of people do you befriend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, he brushed past me and I felt his hand graze over the top of my butt, from left to right. I would have thought it was a mistake or a very light touch to just say “excuse me, right behind you”, but there was no excuse or apology. I always say excuse me if I’m passing someone or I accidentally graze them.

In other words he squeezed by you, and brushed up against you as people do in crowded situations. That’s not "groping" or "grabbing your butt" and you know it. I’d laugh if you mentioned it to me. You’re delusional.

Found the person that sexually assaults women. Gross.

[Anonymous]

***Always assume it's an accident unless it happens more than once with the same person.***

I've brushed by people without meaning too, and without excusing myself, because sometimes an excuse just seems even more awkward, or they're talking to someone and I don't want to interrupt and have a group know about my silly brush. I've had many people brush past me and inadvertently touch my behind, etc.

I was assaulted on the metro as a preteen and I can assure you it felt very different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, he brushed past me and I felt his hand graze over the top of my butt, from left to right. I would have thought it was a mistake or a very light touch to just say “excuse me, right behind you”, but there was no excuse or apology. I always say excuse me if I’m passing someone or I accidentally graze them.

In other words he squeezed by you, and brushed up against you as people do in crowded situations. That’s not "groping" or "grabbing your butt" and you know it. I’d laugh if you mentioned it to me. You’re delusional.

Found the person that sexually assaults women. Gross.

Found the 5 that thinks every man wants her. They don’t.

[Anonymous]

This sounds unintentional and like he didn’t even notice. Especially as you say it was the “top of your butt.” If anything he probably thinks he absentmindedly grazed the small of your back as he squeezed past, without any thought or intention. A butt grab or grope is generally to the lower butt. OP, do you maybe have a little crush on him or find him attractive? It almost sounds like you are trying to make something out of nothing, like you were hoping for some inappropriate attention from him?

[Anonymous]

Eww.
How inappropriate! 😠

I would definitely say something to him when you both are alone.

Be firm that what he did is 100% unacceptable + that it must NEVER happen again.

No exceptions!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds unintentional and like he didn’t even notice. Especially as you say it was the “top of your butt.” If anything he probably thinks he absentmindedly grazed the small of your back as he squeezed past, without any thought or intention. A butt grab or grope is generally to the lower butt. OP, do you maybe have a little crush on him or find him attractive? It almost sounds like you are trying to make something out of nothing, like you were hoping for some inappropriate attention from him?

OP could be wrong - and she seems to acknowledge that because she admits she is unsure and didn't see anything - but this comment is gross!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Didn’t happen.

Why? Stuff like that happens all.the.time. (NP)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, he brushed past me and I felt his hand graze over the top of my butt, from left to right. I would have thought it was a mistake or a very light touch to just say “excuse me, right behind you”, but there was no excuse or apology. I always say excuse me if I’m passing someone or I accidentally graze them.

In other words he squeezed by you, and brushed up against you as people do in crowded situations. That’s not "groping" or "grabbing your butt" and you know it. I’d laugh if you mentioned it to me. You’re delusional.

Found the pig.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:***Always assume it's an accident unless it happens more than once with the same person.***

I've brushed by people without meaning too, and without excusing myself, because sometimes an excuse just seems even more awkward, or they're talking to someone and I don't want to interrupt and have a group know about my silly brush. I've had many people brush past me and inadvertently touch my behind, etc.

I was assaulted on the metro as a preteen and I can assure you it felt very different.

OP here, I’m so sorry to hear about your assault, that’s awful. I am taking your first point of advice and am going to brush it off for now.

[Anonymous]

Sorry that happened.

I’m not the same person I was before being assaulted at 16. My life hasn’t been the same since, even 12 years later.

Do what you have to do to protect yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here, he brushed past me and I felt his hand graze over the top of my butt, from left to right. I would have thought it was a mistake or a very light touch to just say “excuse me, right behind you”, but there was no excuse or apology. I always say excuse me if I’m passing someone or I accidentally graze them.

In other words he squeezed by you, and brushed up against you as people do in crowded situations. That’s not "groping" or "grabbing your butt" and you know it. I’d laugh if you mentioned it to me. You’re delusional.

Found the person that sexually assaults women. Gross.

Found the 5 that thinks every man wants her. They don’t.

Being assaulted isn't flattering and it's not about being wanted.