Friends husband touched my butt

[Anonymous]

Last night at a party, my friends husband was passing by me and I felt his hand turn to the side and graze over my butt as he passed by me. He didn’t say “sorry!” Or excuse me, it was similar to a butt grab that my husband does in the kitchen or something when he wants to touch me discreetly, kind of a discreet little grab rather than an accidental passing by.

Am I reading too much into it? I was a bit shocked and didn’t say anything.

[Anonymous]

He was counting on your shock being your silence. Some men get off on making women uncomfortable, and groping one of his wife’s friends definitely qualifies.

I’m sorry op. I wouldn’t want to hang out with him anymore, and it’s unfortunately likely only the tip of the iceberg.

[Anonymous]

Gross. Nope done with that couple.

[Anonymous]

Why don’t you ask your husband what he thinks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Last night at a party, my friends husband was passing by me and I felt his hand turn to the side and graze over my butt as he passed by me. He didn’t say “sorry!” Or excuse me, it was similar to a butt grab that my husband does in the kitchen or something when he wants to touch me discreetly, kind of a discreet little grab rather than an accidental passing by.

Am I reading too much into it? I was a bit shocked and didn’t say anything.

No of us were there. No one here knows you or the guy. How can anyone know whether you’re reading too much into it?

Either you’re a troll or really dense. Which is it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He was counting on your shock being your silence. Some men get off on making women uncomfortable, and groping one of his wife’s friends definitely qualifies.

I’m sorry op. I wouldn’t want to hang out with him anymore, and it’s unfortunately likely only the tip of the iceberg.

Groping??? Brushing by a woman in a tight dress is hardly groping!

[Anonymous]

Was it a crowded space or did he intentionally move over and brush against you when there was plenty of room to not do so?

It can be hard to determine incidental vs intentional touch in crowded places.

Has there been any flirting between you? A butt grab from someone you often see, who is married to your friend, and who you are friends with is a pretty bold way to show interest.

Was their alcohol / drugs involved?

[Anonymous]

If you are sure he intentionally groped you, you need to speak up and tell your husband and your friend. You should also report it. Not that anything will be done but it will be on file.

[Anonymous]

Didn’t happen.

[Anonymous]

It was most likely quite intentional. I'd avoid him from here out -- it's predatory behavior. He merely "grazed" you so as to have plausible deniability. He might have been drunk and doesn't even remember he did it, and would deny it angrily and vehemently, but still -- he should be avoided.

Whether to mention it to your DH or not depends on how your DH is about such things, what the relationship between him and this guy is, etc. If you don't have to see this person again, and it isn't a super good friend of DH's, I'd probably just keep it to myself. Not sure that's the right answer, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He was counting on your shock being your silence. Some men get off on making women uncomfortable, and groping one of his wife’s friends definitely qualifies.

I’m sorry op. I wouldn’t want to hang out with him anymore, and it’s unfortunately likely only the tip of the iceberg.

Groping??? Brushing by a woman in a tight dress is hardly groping!

Where are you getting this from? Oh, wait, your own gross imagination. Take your misogyny elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You must be sending him the vibes that made him feel okay to touch your butt

I would keep my distance from that man. I wouldn’t mention this to my friend unless you intend to lose her. She might have an even more ignorant view than the one posted above and try to blame you.

I would mention this to my own DH though to make sure someone has my back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He was counting on your shock being your silence. Some men get off on making women uncomfortable, and groping one of his wife’s friends definitely qualifies.

I’m sorry op. I wouldn’t want to hang out with him anymore, and it’s unfortunately likely only the tip of the iceberg.

Groping??? Brushing by a woman in a tight dress is hardly groping!

That's the idea. Plausible deniability. If I brushed against someone by accident I would say excuse me.

I would tell DH and avoid this person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You must be sending him the vibes that made him feel okay to touch your butt

Idiot..and I say this as a man cause I assume you are one of those useless men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You must be sending him the vibes that made him feel okay to touch your butt

I would keep my distance from that man. I wouldn’t mention this to my friend unless you intend to lose her. She might have an even more ignorant view than the one posted above and try to blame you.

I would mention this to my own DH though to make sure someone has my back.

She should tell the friend. Obviously the aren't going to keep hanging out with handsy husband so friend deserves to know why. Also, I would want to know if my husband was going around grabbing my friends' butts. I would want Op to tell me.