Friends husband touched my butt

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here: IMO, zero chance it was accidental. If I accidentally touched a woman’s butt in that way, I’d be mortified and immediately apologize to defuse the situation. Most likely this was an “accidentally on purpose” kind of deal; but I’m not sure there is much more you can do than avoid him in the future. People like this tend to be very well calibrated in terms of how far they can push the envelope without making it easy for people to call them out, he will no doubt respond with something like “OMG, i had no idea and totally didn’t mean to, just making my way through a crowded place, so sorry, etc. etc.”

What makes you so sure you would know if you touched a butt, back, side, or something else? Particularly if it was the side/outside of your hand.

Not a man, are you? You’re basically always aware/noticing when you’re in close proximity to a woman like that. And it if was enough for her to notice and react in this manner, he noticed as well. As Oliver Wendell Holmes once (supposedly) said, “Even a dog knows the difference between being tripped over and being kicked.” My hypothesis is that if it were truly inadvertent/accidental, OP might not have even registered it at all or would promptly have dismissed it. You can tell when someone innocently just brushes by you vs. when there is some intent.

Just like women have a way to "shut it all down?"

You can't tell other than going to: 1) brushing vs grabbing/cupping and 2) crowded vs uncrowded. Anything else is going to be guessing with your own biases at play.

And no, you can't tell what the back of your hand is feeling. Don't be ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
A bunch of posters ran with the sexual assault scenario when this clearly screams accident. The person probably didn't even notice he had touched OP's lower back. It's just not important.

You guys all need to come back down to earth.

Yeah im sure the dude is just a butterfingers squeezing through small spaces. Bet he accidentally grazes his male friends junk all the time. No? Just women?

ha ha, EXACTLY. My husband has never been like, OMG, Mark just groped me! No. Men CAN avoid it and DO avoid it. Until they want to grope somebody's butt.

Exactly! Is he accidentally touching his male boss at work? Did he accidentally touch other men at this party? Or did he see an opportunity to put his hands on a woman he expected to be too shocked to speak up?

It’s so transparent and it’s really sad to see people trying to justify assault gaslight op.

Uhh, it absolutely happens between guys. e.g., on a crowded metro train or walking through a crowded bar. Most people wouldn't think anything of it.

Guys will joke about it, too. After an accidental grazing or contact, they’ll be like “Sorry, Steve, you’re going to have to buy me dinner first!”

Right before they go to the police for rape.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
A bunch of posters ran with the sexual assault scenario when this clearly screams accident. The person probably didn't even notice he had touched OP's lower back. It's just not important.

You guys all need to come back down to earth.

Yeah im sure the dude is just a butterfingers squeezing through small spaces. Bet he accidentally grazes his male friends junk all the time. No? Just women?

ha ha, EXACTLY. My husband has never been like, OMG, Mark just groped me! No. Men CAN avoid it and DO avoid it. Until they want to grope somebody's butt.

Exactly! Is he accidentally touching his male boss at work? Did he accidentally touch other men at this party? Or did he see an opportunity to put his hands on a woman he expected to be too shocked to speak up?

It’s so transparent and it’s really sad to see people trying to justify assault gaslight op.

Uhh, it absolutely happens between guys. e.g., on a crowded metro train or walking through a crowded bar. Most people wouldn't think anything of it.

Guys will joke about it, too. After an accidental grazing or contact, they’ll be like “Sorry, Steve, you’re going to have to buy me dinner first!”

Right before they go to the police for rape.

exactly

[Anonymous]

It seems you should avoid this guy.

[Anonymous]

Look at all these people trying to gaslight OP. Would you be okay with a man doing the same thing to your daughters?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look at all these people trying to gaslight OP. Would you be okay with a man doing the same thing to your daughters?

With what the OP described? It sounds pretty unavoidable in crowded environments.

No sexual satisfaction comes from brushing up against someone's butt in a crowded setting. Your mind is focused on just trying to get from one end of the room to the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look at all these people trying to gaslight OP. Would you be okay with a man doing the same thing to your daughters?

With what the OP described? It sounds pretty unavoidable in crowded environments.

No sexual satisfaction comes from brushing up against someone's butt in a crowded setting. Your mind is focused on just trying to get from one end of the room to the other.

This house party must have been absolutely jam packed!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look at all these people trying to gaslight OP. Would you be okay with a man doing the same thing to your daughters?

With what the OP described? It sounds pretty unavoidable in crowded environments.

No sexual satisfaction comes from brushing up against someone's butt in a crowded setting. Your mind is focused on just trying to get from one end of the room to the other.

Whatever, men try to cop a feel in crowds all the time. Happens everyday on the metro in every city around the world. They also try to hug you in the office and look down your shirt. Grabbing your hand and doing the hand tickle thing. wtf. Pervs are everywhere.

If you can't control your hands, I won't control my reflex to smack you upside your head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look at all these people trying to gaslight OP. Would you be okay with a man doing the same thing to your daughters?

With what the OP described? It sounds pretty unavoidable in crowded environments.

No sexual satisfaction comes from brushing up against someone's butt in a crowded setting. Your mind is focused on just trying to get from one end of the room to the other.

This house party must have been absolutely jam packed!

People always seem to crowd in the kitchen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look at all these people trying to gaslight OP. Would you be okay with a man doing the same thing to your daughters?

With what the OP described? It sounds pretty unavoidable in crowded environments.

No sexual satisfaction comes from brushing up against someone's butt in a crowded setting. Your mind is focused on just trying to get from one end of the room to the other.

Whatever, men try to cop a feel in crowds all the time. Happens everyday on the metro in every city around the world. They also try to hug you in the office and look down your shirt. Grabbing your hand and doing the hand tickle thing. wtf. Pervs are everywhere.

If you can't control your hands, I won't control my reflex to smack you upside your head.

What is the hand tickle thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look at all these people trying to gaslight OP. Would you be okay with a man doing the same thing to your daughters?

With what the OP described? It sounds pretty unavoidable in crowded environments.

No sexual satisfaction comes from brushing up against someone's butt in a crowded setting. Your mind is focused on just trying to get from one end of the room to the other.

Whatever, men try to cop a feel in crowds all the time. Happens everyday on the metro in every city around the world. They also try to hug you in the office and look down your shirt. Grabbing your hand and doing the hand tickle thing. wtf. Pervs are everywhere.

If you can't control your hands, I won't control my reflex to smack you upside your head.

The op didn't describe someone copping a feel. She didn't describe any grabbing or ticking. She described something brushing up against her butt in a crowded environment and instinctively assumed it must have been a hand.

In those situation, what do you expect guys to do with their hands? Keeping them at their sides puts them at high-butt-height on women. Raising them to their torso puts them at boob height. Do you want them to walk around with their hands above their heads?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look at all these people trying to gaslight OP. Would you be okay with a man doing the same thing to your daughters?

With what the OP described? It sounds pretty unavoidable in crowded environments.

No sexual satisfaction comes from brushing up against someone's butt in a crowded setting. Your mind is focused on just trying to get from one end of the room to the other.

Whatever, men try to cop a feel in crowds all the time. Happens everyday on the metro in every city around the world. They also try to hug you in the office and look down your shirt. Grabbing your hand and doing the hand tickle thing. wtf. Pervs are everywhere.

If you can't control your hands, I won't control my reflex to smack you upside your head.

What is the hand tickle thing?

PP's fantasy, apparently.

Honestly, I think people like this should make a stink. It would serve to warn others not to hang out with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look at all these people trying to gaslight OP. Would you be okay with a man doing the same thing to your daughters?

With what the OP described? It sounds pretty unavoidable in crowded environments.

No sexual satisfaction comes from brushing up against someone's butt in a crowded setting. Your mind is focused on just trying to get from one end of the room to the other.

Whatever, men try to cop a feel in crowds all the time. Happens everyday on the metro in every city around the world. They also try to hug you in the office and look down your shirt. Grabbing your hand and doing the hand tickle thing. wtf. Pervs are everywhere.

If you can't control your hands, I won't control my reflex to smack you upside your head.

What is the hand tickle thing?

PP's fantasy, apparently.

Honestly, I think people like this should make a stink. It would serve to warn others not to hang out with them.

Found the creep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look at all these people trying to gaslight OP. Would you be okay with a man doing the same thing to your daughters?

With what the OP described? It sounds pretty unavoidable in crowded environments.

No sexual satisfaction comes from brushing up against someone's butt in a crowded setting. Your mind is focused on just trying to get from one end of the room to the other.

Whatever, men try to cop a feel in crowds all the time. Happens everyday on the metro in every city around the world. They also try to hug you in the office and look down your shirt. Grabbing your hand and doing the hand tickle thing. wtf. Pervs are everywhere.

If you can't control your hands, I won't control my reflex to smack you upside your head.

What is the hand tickle thing?

PP's fantasy, apparently.

Honestly, I think people like this should make a stink. It would serve to warn others not to hang out with them.

Found the creep.

Cool. Just be sure to announce yourself so we can both avoid each other. Sorry if you stop getting invited to things.

[Anonymous]

We he humming a Six Mixx-a-Lot song at the time? That could be a clue about if it was intentional.