Advice for Daughter Traveling with College BF

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pack a box of contraceptives. Accident happens

To paraphrase Clemenza, “Leave the handcuffs. Take the condoms.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pack a box of contraceptives. Accident happens

To paraphrase Clemenza, “Leave the handcuffs. Take the condoms.”

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you say you’re nervous about this? This is contrarian, but I would not bring a hostess gift. I would plan to pay for my own lift tickets and rentals. She should enjoy herself, make good chit-chat, have fun. Obviously be tidy and all the other common sense things that I’m sure your DD is well aware of. Frankly if it was my daughter, I wouldn’t give her any advice.

+1

[Anonymous]

Did your daughter buy a ski pass in advance for this trip? Is she going to take lessons? Just want to make you know that “paying for herself” could cost a lot of money (maybe $300/day or closer to $1000/day with lessons). Hopefully at the least the boyfriends family can use their ski passes to get her a friends/family discount but those are not that good of a deal. Your daughter should definitely ask about this in advance, buying lift tickets even a week in advance can save money (but not as much money as buying a pass back in October).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She should definitely bring a hostess gift. It's a gesture, not a payment, so cost isn't important. A small box of good quality chocolates would be fine.

Teach your daughter to always have money to cover herself, and to get herself home. She should ask the boyfriend to give her an estimate of how much lift tickets, ski rentals, etc. cost so she can bring enough. That way he can either say $2,000 or no we're covering all that. Even if he says the latter she should still bring enough money for everything.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She should bring a hostess gift, a nice cookbook, chocolates, linen napkins, things like that. Her BF’s family will most likely pay for her lift tickets but it’s best not to assume and to offer to pay her own way.

Only small consumables or disposables! Ski lady of the house does not want your cookbook or non-disposable napkins. She's already had the multi million dollar place professionally decorated. I'm also 100% fine with a just a nice thank you note a week or two later. Of course we don't expect you to pay your own way. It's a very nice gesture to pick up a breakfast bagel order or buy a round of midday hot coffees and snacks on when we take a break on the mountain. In our case, it's always lovely when you spend some time with the younger siblings (playing a game at night type thing).

[Anonymous]

The lift tickets and rental equipment will be expensive. She can probably buy the lift tickets in advance online.

Even group lessons will be expensive. Make sure to tip the instructor as they make minimum wage.

[Anonymous]

Be prepared to pay (but unlikely).

Bring a hostess gift (chocolate or teas).

Clean up your space regularly.

Go with the flow.

Consider bringing back pastries or something if the family is paying for everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pack a box of contraceptives. Accident happens

To paraphrase Clemenza, “Leave the handcuffs. Take the condoms.”

You win the internet today!

If she does bring the handcuffs, remind her to have 2 keys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She should definitely bring a hostess gift. It's a gesture, not a payment, so cost isn't important. A small box of good quality chocolates would be fine.

Teach your daughter to always have money to cover herself, and to get herself home. She should ask the boyfriend to give her an estimate of how much lift tickets, ski rentals, etc. cost so she can bring enough. That way he can either say $2,000 or no we're covering all that. Even if he says the latter she should still bring enough money for everything.

All of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Candlesticks always make a nice gift

Candlesticks don’t always make a nice gift. Some people hate candles. Especially the scented ones. Bring chocolates - someone will end up eating them, or they open them up as dessert after dinner (just don’t eat them all yourself).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assume she is paying for everything but I would think they will at least cover group meals - I highly doubt they would ask for money for that. I hope that if she does end up having to pay for things it isn't too much of a financial challenge.

I think most hostess gifts are pointless and stupid but many disagree with me so probably best to err on the side of caution and bring one. She should ask her boyfriend, though most likely he is clueless and doesn't know.

What is the sleeping arrangement?

She will have her own bedroom. Both my husband and I and from what I know his parents are more comfortable with it being this way.

Even with her own bedroom, there could still be situations for the boy to try to pressure her into s*x during this trip! You need to have “the talk” with her ahead of time. Its especially important for her to understand things, including birth control, how to use it, and of course consent.

Or she might be pressuring the boyfriend for sex. It's 2025 ffs.

[Anonymous]

Did your daughter ask you for advice? If not, leave her be.

Honestly, it sounds like you’re the nervous one and you want this to go well because his family is wealthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Candlesticks always make a nice gift

Candlesticks don’t always make a nice gift. Some people hate candles. Especially the scented ones. Bring chocolates - someone will end up eating them, or they open them up as dessert after dinner (just don’t eat them all yourself).

It's a famous line from a movie (Bull Durham). Just a joke. Lighten up. Get some culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Candlesticks always make a nice gift

Candlesticks don’t always make a nice gift. Some people hate candles. Especially the scented ones. Bring chocolates - someone will end up eating them, or they open them up as dessert after dinner (just don’t eat them all yourself).

+1

She shouldn't bring candlesticks for a variety of reasons. Bring something small and consumable. Nice chocolates are a good bet.

I wouldn't assume they are getting lift tickets for her. The family probably already has season passes. Be prepared - lift tickets are extremely expensive these days at the big resorts. You will want to do this in advance because some resorts sell out. She should ask BF for guidance on this.