Advice for Daughter Traveling with College BF

[Anonymous]

Candlesticks always make a nice gift

[Anonymous]

She is authentic while still not airing any personal, family dirty laundry. People want to get to know her but not everything, and not anything about your family that should be private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is a sophomore and has been dating a nice young man since her 2nd semester. This will be her fast time traveling with him. She will be meeting his family and joining them at their ski house. We are nervous about this since her boyfriend is from a far more affluent background than we are - we have met him once and he is very likeable so hopefully his family will be as well. Should she bring a hostess gift for the mother? Also should she assume that she will be covering her own lift tickets, meals, and what not ? Really wanting this trip to go well for her.

Isn't this the "opposite perspective" of a troll post from a couple months back

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is authentic while still not airing any personal, family dirty laundry. People want to get to know her but not everything, and not anything about your family that should be private.

Are you a paranoid person? My mother was always very insistent that I be secretive and never tell anyone family business, if our kitchen windows were open we had to keep our voices down lest the neighbors hear us, etc. You sound like her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assume she is paying for everything but I would think they will at least cover group meals - I highly doubt they would ask for money for that. I hope that if she does end up having to pay for things it isn't too much of a financial challenge.

I think most hostess gifts are pointless and stupid but many disagree with me so probably best to err on the side of caution and bring one. She should ask her boyfriend, though most likely he is clueless and doesn't know.

What is the sleeping arrangement?

She will have her own bedroom. Both my husband and I and from what I know his parents are more comfortable with it being this way.

Even with her own bedroom, there could still be situations for the boy to try to pressure her into s*x during this trip! You need to have “the talk” with her ahead of time. Its especially important for her to understand things, including birth control, how to use it, and of course consent.

OP said they’re in college not high school.

[Anonymous]

Hope the BF and she will think alike and won't have the expectation of intimate time alone. His family should not feel uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Yes to hostess gift. If she's from a different region of the country from them, maybe a hometown favorite candy. Flowers can also be nice assuming no allergies and a convenient place to buy them. Another nice thought might be a boardgame that the parents and young couple can play together - if there's one the parents won't have.

Unless these people are incredibly rich, I would not expect them to pay for lift tickets, rentals, and slopeside meals for a guest. (Unless they get guest passes for free with their house/condo.) Yes for an invited dinner out. I would assume that the invitation covers housing, meals at the house, and maybe a fancy dinner out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes to hostess gift. If she's from a different region of the country from them, maybe a hometown favorite candy. Flowers can also be nice assuming no allergies and a convenient place to buy them. Another nice thought might be a boardgame that the parents and young couple can play together - if there's one the parents won't have.

Unless these people are incredibly rich, I would not expect them to pay for lift tickets, rentals, and slopeside meals for a guest. (Unless they get guest passes for free with their house/condo.) Yes for an invited dinner out. I would assume that the invitation covers housing, meals at the house, and maybe a fancy dinner out.

OP here. She is in college to clarify. His family appears to be in the wealth bracket where lift tickets, rentals, etc… would be an insignificant expense. Especially compared to the cost of the house - I’m a little embarrassed to admit but I looked it up on Zillow.

[Anonymous]

Flowers can be challenging to find in a ski town.

I like the idea of a boardgame and/or chocolates or local candy from her town.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes to hostess gift. If she's from a different region of the country from them, maybe a hometown favorite candy. Flowers can also be nice assuming no allergies and a convenient place to buy them. Another nice thought might be a boardgame that the parents and young couple can play together - if there's one the parents won't have.

Unless these people are incredibly rich, I would not expect them to pay for lift tickets, rentals, and slopeside meals for a guest. (Unless they get guest passes for free with their house/condo.) Yes for an invited dinner out. I would assume that the invitation covers housing, meals at the house, and maybe a fancy dinner out.

I grew up solidly middle class, but if we invited someone anywhere, we paid for them. That's just the decent thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes to hostess gift. If she's from a different region of the country from them, maybe a hometown favorite candy. Flowers can also be nice assuming no allergies and a convenient place to buy them. Another nice thought might be a boardgame that the parents and young couple can play together - if there's one the parents won't have.

Unless these people are incredibly rich, I would not expect them to pay for lift tickets, rentals, and slopeside meals for a guest. (Unless they get guest passes for free with their house/condo.) Yes for an invited dinner out. I would assume that the invitation covers housing, meals at the house, and maybe a fancy dinner out.

I grew up solidly middle class, but if we invited someone anywhere, we paid for them. That's just the decent thing to do.

OP here. We could afford to cover it for her, but it would be a financial burden for us especially around Christmas.

[Anonymous]

Are they at an Ivy together?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes to hostess gift. If she's from a different region of the country from them, maybe a hometown favorite candy. Flowers can also be nice assuming no allergies and a convenient place to buy them. Another nice thought might be a boardgame that the parents and young couple can play together - if there's one the parents won't have.

Unless these people are incredibly rich, I would not expect them to pay for lift tickets, rentals, and slopeside meals for a guest. (Unless they get guest passes for free with their house/condo.) Yes for an invited dinner out. I would assume that the invitation covers housing, meals at the house, and maybe a fancy dinner out.

I grew up solidly middle class, but if we invited someone anywhere, we paid for them. That's just the decent thing to do.

PP. I grew up faded WASP money and middle class. We hosted generously but did not provide pocket money. Lift tickets and slopeside meals are pocket money.

I suppose OP's daughter's boyfriend is really loaded but she shouldn't assume everything will be comped. Rich people weren't all born rich and people get different ideas as they grow up. The parents may be reviewing this young lady to make sure she's not a moocher. DCUM can't tell this from afar. It's best if she is able to offer to pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are they at an Ivy together?

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes to hostess gift. If she's from a different region of the country from them, maybe a hometown favorite candy. Flowers can also be nice assuming no allergies and a convenient place to buy them. Another nice thought might be a boardgame that the parents and young couple can play together - if there's one the parents won't have.

Unless these people are incredibly rich, I would not expect them to pay for lift tickets, rentals, and slopeside meals for a guest. (Unless they get guest passes for free with their house/condo.) Yes for an invited dinner out. I would assume that the invitation covers housing, meals at the house, and maybe a fancy dinner out.

I grew up solidly middle class, but if we invited someone anywhere, we paid for them. That's just the decent thing to do.

PP. I grew up faded WASP money and middle class. We hosted generously but did not provide pocket money. Lift tickets and slopeside meals are pocket money.

I suppose OP's daughter's boyfriend is really loaded but she shouldn't assume everything will be comped. Rich people weren't all born rich and people get different ideas as they grow up. The parents may be reviewing this young lady to make sure she's not a moocher. DCUM can't tell this from afar. It's best if she is able to offer to pay.

OP here. That’s our thinking. We’ll give her the money so that she can offer - just experiencing some sticker shock at how expensive the lift tickets are!