stop addressing cards to Mr and Mrs husband's first name!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I get it ..

The Christmas cards we've received for this year have been addressed to us as follows

Mr and Mrs LAST NAME
The LAST NAME's

This is OP - and honestly I wouldn't LOVE these but they wouldn't irk me to the degree it does being addressed as Mrs husband's first name.

I absolutely understand.
Are you comfortable with giving them a gentle reminder that your last name differs from that of your husband?
Some older more traditional generations have a hard time with things..

Np here, but if someone reached out to tell me they don’t like how I addressed their Christmas card, I’m happy to spare them the trouble of receiving one in the future.

I can’t imagine having any feelings at all about how Aunt Glenda addressed her holiday card to me. My sense of self does not depend on how other people address me.

As I said in a previous post, please feel free to take me off my list if you think that's easier for you than addressing me by my own name.

[Anonymous]

I also stopped sending cards to those who I thought might be cranky or critical. Sorry, I don’t need you in my life. I’m in charge of the Christmas card list and have been for over 25 years. DH never asks, nor cares so I eliminated his cadre of mean aunts and judgy cousins decades ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I get it ..

The Christmas cards we've received for this year have been addressed to us as follows

Mr and Mrs LAST NAME
The LAST NAME's

This is OP - and honestly I wouldn't LOVE these but they wouldn't irk me to the degree it does being addressed as Mrs husband's first name.

I absolutely understand.
Are you comfortable with giving them a gentle reminder that your last name differs from that of your husband?
Some older more traditional generations have a hard time with things..

We've tried - and last year my husband's sibling promised to get it fixed for this year. I think it's time to give up this fight, but I won't give up being annoyed by it.

You sound exhausting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't even take his last name let alone his first name. Just send it to him alone if you don't care to know or acknowledge that.

ANYWAY

Nope. This is the traditional way to address a card. You chose a nontraditional route and can't expect people to keep track.

+1

Except everyone else does get it right. It's this one card, every year. I can expect my husband's sibling to know my name, in fact, when everyone else in the world knows it.

[Anonymous]

And now Old Aunt Betty knows the reason she “never hears from us.” I also delete her emails.

[Anonymous]

I try really hard to get things right on the cards I send out. However, OP sounds so exhausting and annoying I would keep doing it incorrectly every Christmas just to be petty and annoy her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also stopped sending cards to those who I thought might be cranky or critical. Sorry, I don’t need you in my life. I’m in charge of the Christmas card list and have been for over 25 years. DH never asks, nor cares so I eliminated his cadre of mean aunts and judgy cousins decades ago.

Totally happy to stop receiving your card. Much better than you continuing to send a generic card addressed to the wrong name. Take me off your list, and we can both be happy. Just hand me the card in person if that makes your life easier, or skip that, too.

[Anonymous]

I don’t see why this is so hard. What is the purpose of sending Christmas cards? Is it to send good wishes to friends and family? Then you should get their names right. It’s not any different than someone named Catherine expecting not to be called “Katherine” on the inside of the card. If you care about them, you should know their names.

If it’s to send a picture to brag or whatever, then do what you want I guess. I would probably just throw the card out without opening it.

[Anonymous]

It more bothers me that people cannot bother to get it right. It makes me feel like they do not care. It particularly bothers me when it comes to weddings.

This goes for any addressing issues- whether you changed your name or didn’t. It’s thoughtless.

[Anonymous]

I’m petty so this year I would send a Christmas card to them addressed to Mr and Mrs WifesFirstName Last Name and see if they like that.

[Anonymous]

MIL never could spell my name properly. I’m Diana. Dania, Diane, Dana. She didn’t like the spelling of DD’s name so I’m convinced botches this on purpose - similar to Madeleine-and DD is 18. Has called me Madeleine pretending to confuse our names. MIL always said she was a terrible speller - including names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't even take his last name let alone his first name. Just send it to him alone if you don't care to know or acknowledge that.

ANYWAY

Nope. This is the traditional way to address a card. You chose a nontraditional route and can't expect people to keep track.

+1

you think it's too much to ask people to remember your name b/c you chose to not have the same first and last name as your husband?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not everything needs to be taken personally as though it was meant to offend you.

Except it's close family and we've brought it up with them a couple of times in years past already because I do not like it. I don't think it's MEANT to offend me. And I'm not offended. I'm irritated.

OP your title is not going to generate productive responses here.

But I get it - I don't really care for one-off interactions or my DH's elderly relatives who are not going to change. But there are a couple peer-age ppl who have been told multiple times and should know and at some point it is just rude.

This is OP - and for sure, I would not give this two thoughts if it were elderly relatives. These people are younger than we are!

I was annoyed for a moment, vented for a moment, now I'm over it - till next year.

When younger people do the “Mr and Mrs Joe Smith,” they think they’re being very fancy/Emily Post.

Usually they are actually clueless, as the most polite thing is to address people how they want to be addressed!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see why this is so hard. What is the purpose of sending Christmas cards? Is it to send good wishes to friends and family? Then you should get their names right. It’s not any different than someone named Catherine expecting not to be called “Katherine” on the inside of the card. If you care about them, you should know their names.

If it’s to send a picture to brag or whatever, then do what you want I guess. I would probably just throw the card out without opening it.

I agree. Though I got some insight into this phenomena on this board a few months ago, when someone said they had to send out 150 wedding invites so of course they didn’t check the guests’ names. It was too much work.

I was like wow, someone is being invited to your wedding…and you don’t even try to properly address them? It is just pure self-centeredness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't even take his last name let alone his first name. Just send it to him alone if you don't care to know or acknowledge that.

ANYWAY

Nope. This is the traditional way to address a card. You chose a nontraditional route and can't expect people to keep track.

Nope. You are incorrect.