Feel like I have to choose between looking nice and making friends
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
I think those are cute! |
Anonymous
| Yes tattoos but most of my family and friends have them. Not suburban Chicago. A small blue city in a red state. I love living here. Most of us at the party were Gen-Z. |
Anonymous
| *Gen-X, not Gen-Z |
Anonymous
This. If you stand out because of the way you dress, you’re just going to have to put more effort at being friendly and approachable. Those other moms probably view you as somewhat prissy and high maintenance so you’ll just have to work harder to appear down to earth. No need to change your appearance though! |
Anonymous
| I’m surprised by this, I have friends all over the US and some of the deepest in “flyover country” seem to dress the dressiest and have huge hair and full makeup seemingly all the time. There are others who definitely don’t however. The gigantic knit overall look is definitely a thing and trendy, and I would expect to see it more on the first group of people rather than the second. |
Anonymous
| I used to wear beautiful and feminine custom made South Asian clothing but when I moved to US, I had to start wearing what locals wore to not be seen as an Alien. Imagine the bias and otherness one receives in ethnic clothing, it can even get one shot. Sadly clothing has more social value than it should. Its use to divide people in gender, class, race, region, and religion etc. |
Anonymous
| Your outfit as described is pretty basic and it seems highly unlikely that it would “stand out” as much as you claim. It’s clear you think you’re better than those people. Your post was dripping with disdain. You need to get over yourself and try to engage with them. Find some commonality. You might be surprised to learn you might actually enjoy their company if you can get past surface-level assumptions. |
Anonymous
|
The "dungarees" posted by PP are considered very stylish by other women though I know men hate them. I suppose on a large figure they wouldn't look so good.
Anyway I am in suburban Chicago and most of the women look like slobs except for the churchy types, who are in full makeup including eyelashes and outfits similar to what OP said she wore. The PTA alpha moms have gray streaks, no makeup and a baggy shirt with some political saying. So it is extremely obvious who's who. |
Anonymous
| Leave them alone. They deserve better |
Anonymous
|
Go post on Midwest Suburban Moms. Stop clinging to DC.
|
Anonymous
| Always focus more on being nice than looking nice. |
Anonymous
| You are looking down at the people around you. They can sense that. |
Anonymous
This. She’s clearly judging these women, and they clearly sense it. |
Anonymous
| I'm kind of surprised. Where in "flyover"? I thought that women in the Midwest were more likely to dress cute and wear makeup than women in DC, for example. |
Anonymous
| I grew up in the Midwest and am Gen X. I would dress up and wear makeup for a girls night out, but not a child’s backyard birthday party. I don’t have short hair and don’t wear trendy items that would look bad on me, like the outfit you posted. I’m sure you would find me very dowdy, but I’m fun, so it’s your loss. Don’t even try to dress like them; you’ll be uncomfortable and it will make things more awkward. Just be yourself and eventually you’ll find a good friend. |