Seeing Married Men in Your Circle

[Anonymous]

Why not just sign up for tinder?

Don’t shit where you eat so to speak. And definitely don’t shit where your kids eat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell your friends when you are looking for a hookup. You never know who may lend your their husband. Seriously, years ago one of my close friends got divorced. She didn’t want to get into another relationship but said she was “lonely” every now and then. One evening when she told me this I told her to sit tight that I was sending my husband over. I asked him to take a bottle of wine over to her. When he got there I texted both of them and that was that. He took care of her and got home and we never spoke about it again. She got back with her husband not too long after and we all get together at least once a month for dinner.

You’re a good friend.

And they continue to f””k behind her back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister slept with her son's married soccer coach for about 5 months after her separation. Then it was just over. No blow up, no hard feelings, literally nothing was found out at all.

This was in Old Town (I mention it because it's incredibly gossipy) about 4 years ago. If she could do that there, anyone can.

Believe me, someone knows and she just is living a fantasy that no one does. OP, you just got out of a marriage, DO NOT invite drama like this. Talk to a therapist, STAT. You will ABSOLUTELY regret sleeping with one of the married men in your mutual circle because guys can be honey sweet to your face and complete DOGS behind your back.

Karma is a greedy debt collector, stay away from this .

They can be dogs to your face too. Usually at the same time that they are being honey sweet for as long as they want to f*ck you. The instant they think you are a threat to their marriage or stability prepare to be dropped like a stone into the ocean.

Duh. Just about every affair that ever existed. Women still act surprised at getting treated like trash when screwing married men. Wow.

[Anonymous]

You are a ho, and I don’t take those words lightly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell your friends when you are looking for a hookup. You never know who may lend your their husband. Seriously, years ago one of my close friends got divorced. She didn’t want to get into another relationship but said she was “lonely” every now and then. One evening when she told me this I told her to sit tight that I was sending my husband over. I asked him to take a bottle of wine over to her. When he got there I texted both of them and that was that. He took care of her and got home and we never spoke about it again. She got back with her husband not too long after and we all get together at least once a month for dinner.

You’re a good friend.

No, she's a pimp.

Fixed that for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister slept with her son's married soccer coach for about 5 months after her separation. Then it was just over. No blow up, no hard feelings, literally nothing was found out at all.

This was in Old Town (I mention it because it's incredibly gossipy) about 4 years ago. If she could do that there, anyone can.

Sure you can do it op....just at your own profound risk. And don't be surprised if you are discovered. The denial thing cheaters have, the belief that no one will find out, is extremely prevalent and a common fault line in affairs. People have a way of finding out. That's the reality. It's very hard to not reveal unconsciously in your body language, voice, gestures, etc a strong sexual connection with another person in the room. People sense it.. Especially among a large group where at least one person will be particularly intuitive and observant, but the odds are even more than one will sense it. A few probably already have sensed what you are doing. The unconscious is a powerful thing.

True. And OP, do you know who else will figure it out, much better than you think they will? Your kids. You say they are 10 and 13. Wow. Perfect ages to be thoroughly screwed up when they even suspect mom is having sex with their friends' dad. If you want to alienate and disgust your children, create drama for which they won't forgive you, and make them eager for the day they head away from you to college -- screwing around with married men in your family's "circle" is a perfect way to do that. If you think your kids won't know, are unobservant, won't care if they do know...you know nothing about kids that age.

OP, is this really "only" for sex you're considering this, or for "affection" or more likely some combination? Purely sexual gratification, you can take care of by yourself, to be blunt; if you want affection and affirmation -- that's why you need to cool your jets, learn to wait, and get therapy before you start any form of new relationship, even casual hookups, because neediness like that is NOT fixed by...casual hookups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a divorced woman with couple friends and one of the dads has pretty blatantly tested me out with flirting to see if/how I respond. I am so disgusted by it and find it so insulting bc I know he has zero interest in anything substantive and just is seeing whether I am desperate/easy enough to fall for what I’m sure he thinks of as harmless spice. Well I’m friends with his wife and our kids out friends and my kid would lose his two best friends if this happened; besides which why would I want to be used and use someone for something so fleeting and empty? I’m real love or bust.

Because some women and most men enjoy sex for sex's sake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister slept with her son's married soccer coach for about 5 months after her separation. Then it was just over. No blow up, no hard feelings, literally nothing was found out at all.

This was in Old Town (I mention it because it's incredibly gossipy) about 4 years ago. If she could do that there, anyone can.

Sure you can do it op....just at your own profound risk. And don't be surprised if you are discovered. The denial thing cheaters have, the belief that no one will find out, is extremely prevalent and a common fault line in affairs. People have a way of finding out. That's the reality. It's very hard to not reveal unconsciously in your body language, voice, gestures, etc a strong sexual connection with another person in the room. People sense it.. Especially among a large group where at least one person will be particularly intuitive and observant, but the odds are even more than one will sense it. A few probably already have sensed what you are doing. The unconscious is a powerful thing.

True. And OP, do you know who else will figure it out, much better than you think they will? Your kids. You say they are 10 and 13. Wow. Perfect ages to be thoroughly screwed up when they even suspect mom is having sex with their friends' dad. If you want to alienate and disgust your children, create drama for which they won't forgive you, and make them eager for the day they head away from you to college -- screwing around with married men in your family's "circle" is a perfect way to do that. If you think your kids won't know, are unobservant, won't care if they do know...you know nothing about kids that age.

OP, is this really "only" for sex you're considering this, or for "affection" or more likely some combination? Purely sexual gratification, you can take care of by yourself, to be blunt; if you want affection and affirmation -- that's why you need to cool your jets, learn to wait, and get therapy before you start any form of new relationship, even casual hookups, because neediness like that is NOT fixed by...casual hookups.

I’m not OP. I am however someone who has “neediness like that,” and I don’t think it’s pathological. Isn’t it normal to crave the feeling of loving and being loved?

[Anonymous]

How do you not feel guilty or ashamed about being willing to seriously hurt somebody else, including children, just to selfishly get exactly what you want when you want it?

[Anonymous]

It really f’d up the kids in our friends group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister slept with her son's married soccer coach for about 5 months after her separation. Then it was just over. No blow up, no hard feelings, literally nothing was found out at all.

This was in Old Town (I mention it because it's incredibly gossipy) about 4 years ago. If she could do that there, anyone can.

Sure you can do it op....just at your own profound risk. And don't be surprised if you are discovered. The denial thing cheaters have, the belief that no one will find out, is extremely prevalent and a common fault line in affairs. People have a way of finding out. That's the reality. It's very hard to not reveal unconsciously in your body language, voice, gestures, etc a strong sexual connection with another person in the room. People sense it.. Especially among a large group where at least one person will be particularly intuitive and observant, but the odds are even more than one will sense it. A few probably already have sensed what you are doing. The unconscious is a powerful thing.

True. And OP, do you know who else will figure it out, much better than you think they will? Your kids. You say they are 10 and 13. Wow. Perfect ages to be thoroughly screwed up when they even suspect mom is having sex with their friends' dad. If you want to alienate and disgust your children, create drama for which they won't forgive you, and make them eager for the day they head away from you to college -- screwing around with married men in your family's "circle" is a perfect way to do that. If you think your kids won't know, are unobservant, won't care if they do know...you know nothing about kids that age.

OP, is this really "only" for sex you're considering this, or for "affection" or more likely some combination? Purely sexual gratification, you can take care of by yourself, to be blunt; if you want affection and affirmation -- that's why you need to cool your jets, learn to wait, and get therapy before you start any form of new relationship, even casual hookups, because neediness like that is NOT fixed by...casual hookups.

I’m not OP. I am however someone who has “neediness like that,” and I don’t think it’s pathological. Isn’t it normal to crave the feeling of loving and being loved?

Yeah, but you don’t do it (or ultimately get it—it will be fleeting and you will end up even lower when they use you) with MARRIED men, and especially your “friends” husbands. Good grief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you not feel guilty or ashamed about being willing to seriously hurt somebody else, including children, just to selfishly get exactly what you want when you want it?

Cheaters have no soul or empathy. It’s “me, me, me” at the expense of everything and everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister slept with her son's married soccer coach for about 5 months after her separation. Then it was just over. No blow up, no hard feelings, literally nothing was found out at all.

This was in Old Town (I mention it because it's incredibly gossipy) about 4 years ago. If she could do that there, anyone can.

Sure you can do it op....just at your own profound risk. And don't be surprised if you are discovered. The denial thing cheaters have, the belief that no one will find out, is extremely prevalent and a common fault line in affairs. People have a way of finding out. That's the reality. It's very hard to not reveal unconsciously in your body language, voice, gestures, etc a strong sexual connection with another person in the room. People sense it.. Especially among a large group where at least one person will be particularly intuitive and observant, but the odds are even more than one will sense it. A few probably already have sensed what you are doing. The unconscious is a powerful thing.

True. And OP, do you know who else will figure it out, much better than you think they will? Your kids. You say they are 10 and 13. Wow. Perfect ages to be thoroughly screwed up when they even suspect mom is having sex with their friends' dad. If you want to alienate and disgust your children, create drama for which they won't forgive you, and make them eager for the day they head away from you to college -- screwing around with married men in your family's "circle" is a perfect way to do that. If you think your kids won't know, are unobservant, won't care if they do know...you know nothing about kids that age.

OP, is this really "only" for sex you're considering this, or for "affection" or more likely some combination? Purely sexual gratification, you can take care of by yourself, to be blunt; if you want affection and affirmation -- that's why you need to cool your jets, learn to wait, and get therapy before you start any form of new relationship, even casual hookups, because neediness like that is NOT fixed by...casual hookups.

I’m not OP. I am however someone who has “neediness like that,” and I don’t think it’s pathological. Isn’t it normal to crave the feeling of loving and being loved?

It’s totally normal and basically all healthy adults have those needs. I don’t think PP was suggesting that those needs are bad, just that OP will probably be disappointed if she tries to get those needs met by casual hookups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister slept with her son's married soccer coach for about 5 months after her separation. Then it was just over. No blow up, no hard feelings, literally nothing was found out at all.

This was in Old Town (I mention it because it's incredibly gossipy) about 4 years ago. If she could do that there, anyone can.

Sure you can do it op....just at your own profound risk. And don't be surprised if you are discovered. The denial thing cheaters have, the belief that no one will find out, is extremely prevalent and a common fault line in affairs. People have a way of finding out. That's the reality. It's very hard to not reveal unconsciously in your body language, voice, gestures, etc a strong sexual connection with another person in the room. People sense it.. Especially among a large group where at least one person will be particularly intuitive and observant, but the odds are even more than one will sense it. A few probably already have sensed what you are doing. The unconscious is a powerful thing.

True. And OP, do you know who else will figure it out, much better than you think they will? Your kids. You say they are 10 and 13. Wow. Perfect ages to be thoroughly screwed up when they even suspect mom is having sex with their friends' dad. If you want to alienate and disgust your children, create drama for which they won't forgive you, and make them eager for the day they head away from you to college -- screwing around with married men in your family's "circle" is a perfect way to do that. If you think your kids won't know, are unobservant, won't care if they do know...you know nothing about kids that age.

OP, is this really "only" for sex you're considering this, or for "affection" or more likely some combination? Purely sexual gratification, you can take care of by yourself, to be blunt; if you want affection and affirmation -- that's why you need to cool your jets, learn to wait, and get therapy before you start any form of new relationship, even casual hookups, because neediness like that is NOT fixed by...casual hookups.

I’m not OP. I am however someone who has “neediness like that,” and I don’t think it’s pathological. Isn’t it normal to crave the feeling of loving and being loved?

The need is normal. The choice to try to fulfill that need by hurting others' marriages and families may be "normal" to some on this forum but it is not right.

And when one is so needy that one is blind to all potential consequences of reaching out to a married person for an affair, even if it's "just" sex, then one needs to step back, recognize that not all needs should get met immediately, and get therapy or somehow reassess why they'd consider the morally bankrupt choice of helping someone else cheat on a spouse. It'll be just sex for the men OP's talking about, but for her, it'll be a very fleeting way to meet her need for affection, and she'll only end up needier, not fulfilled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a divorced woman with couple friends and one of the dads has pretty blatantly tested me out with flirting to see if/how I respond. I am so disgusted by it and find it so insulting bc I know he has zero interest in anything substantive and just is seeing whether I am desperate/easy enough to fall for what I’m sure he thinks of as harmless spice. Well I’m friends with his wife and our kids out friends and my kid would lose his two best friends if this happened; besides which why would I want to be used and use someone for something so fleeting and empty? I’m real love or bust.

Because some women and most men enjoy sex for sex's sake.

I have had sex with two divorced women and yes, they are human who want sex and companionship like everyone else. Married men are known and safe and often desperate for any affection.

Whether OP can handle this is another story.