Seeing Married Men in Your Circle

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That you have no empathy or just a sense of decency/loyalty for the wives in your circle is striking. Be careful to not flatter yourself too much about the flirting....there's a wierd, perverted dynamic that some men show with recently divorced women around assuming they are desperate and easy. It's not really a compliment or a high form of respect to be sought out by a married man, you know? and I'm not quite sure what it is in your history that makes you fail to see this. Is there infidelity in your family history? That might be worth exploring. Healthy people don't act out this way. They might think about it....but they don't act on it.

It’s true of all cheaters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That you have no empathy or just a sense of decency/loyalty for the wives in your circle is striking. Be careful to not flatter yourself too much about the flirting....there's a wierd, perverted dynamic that some men show with recently divorced women around assuming they are desperate and easy. It's not really a compliment or a high form of respect to be sought out by a married man, you know? and I'm not quite sure what it is in your history that makes you fail to see this. Is there infidelity in your family history? That might be worth exploring. Healthy people don't act out this way. They might think about it....but they don't act on it.

It’s true of all cheaters.

Yea the level of entitlement is really something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister slept with her son's married soccer coach for about 5 months after her separation. Then it was just over. No blow up, no hard feelings, literally nothing was found out at all.

This was in Old Town (I mention it because it's incredibly gossipy) about 4 years ago. If she could do that there, anyone can.

You're proud your sister screwed around with a married man? Lovely.

I know. Disgusting. Again- lots of empathy for his wife and kids. Divorced women can be the worst. I don’t know if it’s the bitterness over their own marriage failing and the want to f@@@ck up someone else’s or thumb they’re noses at marriage in general.

Anyway, this is not a game. These are real people and real lives that you are harming and screwing with.

Go bang someone single.

If you have a vagina you can get anyone to screw you. But, I’d advise a therapist’s couch instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ignore the haters. I say go for it. This actually happened in our neighborhood. Everyone found out, the bus stop became hilariously awkward. Still is when all four of the relevant parents are there at once.

And “go for it”. Wtf is wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gross OP. Don’t be the other woman it’s a terrible look AND you will get yourself and your kids ostracized.

Yeah. No I’d wants the town whore for a mother. It’s demoralizing. Your daughters will start blowing guys for attention like they learned from momma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore the haters. I say go for it. This actually happened in our neighborhood. Everyone found out, the bus stop became hilariously awkward. Still is when all four of the relevant parents are there at once.

You're cute, encouraging OP to provide street corner entertainment for the neighborhood.

OP, if you're for real, and especially if you have children -- you seriously need to put the brakes on ALL dating and sex and get yourself together mentally and emotionally before you destroy yourself, your kids' respect for you (oh, they'll know someday), and any shot at being seen as a decent person. The people on this thread telling you to go for it, or telling you they know someone who got away with it -- you do realize they're messing with you, right? They won't be there when you have no friends.

The fact you don't see it as morally wrong to have sex with someone else's husband, well, I won't even go there because if you don't see that, I can only appeal to any desire you have not to be shunned.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister slept with her son's married soccer coach for about 5 months after her separation. Then it was just over. No blow up, no hard feelings, literally nothing was found out at all.

This was in Old Town (I mention it because it's incredibly gossipy) about 4 years ago. If she could do that there, anyone can.

Sure you can do it op....just at your own profound risk. And don't be surprised if you are discovered. The denial thing cheaters have, the belief that no one will find out, is extremely prevalent and a common fault line in affairs. People have a way of finding out. That's the reality. It's very hard to not reveal unconsciously in your body language, voice, gestures, etc a strong sexual connection with another person in the room. People sense it.. Especially among a large group where at least one person will be particularly intuitive and observant, but the odds are even more than one will sense it. A few probably already have sensed what you are doing. The unconscious is a powerful thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Suppose you are separated for 7 months. Eveyone in you and you exes circle knows. For years leading up to the sepration, you had 'chemistry' with two of the other husbands in your circle. Since separation flirting has increased noticeably.

I don't want another husband, but I would like an occasional affectionate partner. If it was kept purely physical and no emotions at all, (I guarantee I can do this) how feasibale is it for the next few months?

I just want some physical intimacy with men I 'know'. I have no interest in hook ups off the internet.

I'm 42, in the DC area, custody of 10-13 YO kids is split and the separation is amicable. I can't be the only one.

This was my exact situation. Had a purely sexual relationship with a recently divorced woman (I am married). It was wonderful for first 4 months and then she slowly turned on me, and in fairness, was very jealous of my relationship with my wife.

Can you handle it better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Suppose you are separated for 7 months. Eveyone in you and you exes circle knows. For years leading up to the sepration, you had 'chemistry' with two of the other husbands in your circle. Since separation flirting has increased noticeably.

I don't want another husband, but I would like an occasional affectionate partner. If it was kept purely physical and no emotions at all, (I guarantee I can do this) how feasibale is it for the next few months?

I just want some physical intimacy with men I 'know'. I have no interest in hook ups off the internet.

I'm 42, in the DC area, custody of 10-13 YO kids is split and the separation is amicable. I can't be the only one.

This was my exact situation. Had a purely sexual relationship with a recently divorced woman (I am married). It was wonderful for first 4 months and then she slowly turned on me, and in fairness, was very jealous of my relationship with my wife.

Can you handle it better?

That always happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell your friends when you are looking for a hookup. You never know who may lend your their husband. Seriously, years ago one of my close friends got divorced. She didn’t want to get into another relationship but said she was “lonely” every now and then. One evening when she told me this I told her to sit tight that I was sending my husband over. I asked him to take a bottle of wine over to her. When he got there I texted both of them and that was that. He took care of her and got home and we never spoke about it again. She got back with her husband not too long after and we all get together at least once a month for dinner.

You're mixing up real life and porn again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister slept with her son's married soccer coach for about 5 months after her separation. Then it was just over. No blow up, no hard feelings, literally nothing was found out at all.

This was in Old Town (I mention it because it's incredibly gossipy) about 4 years ago. If she could do that there, anyone can.

Believe me, someone knows and she just is living a fantasy that no one does. OP, you just got out of a marriage, DO NOT invite drama like this. Talk to a therapist, STAT. You will ABSOLUTELY regret sleeping with one of the married men in your mutual circle because guys can be honey sweet to your face and complete DOGS behind your back.

Karma is a greedy debt collector, stay away from this .

They can be dogs to your face too. Usually at the same time that they are being honey sweet for as long as they want to f*ck you. The instant they think you are a threat to their marriage or stability prepare to be dropped like a stone into the ocean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That you have no empathy or just a sense of decency/loyalty for the wives in your circle is striking. Be careful to not flatter yourself too much about the flirting....there's a wierd, perverted dynamic that some men show with recently divorced women around assuming they are desperate and easy. It's not really a compliment or a high form of respect to be sought out by a married man, you know? and I'm not quite sure what it is in your history that makes you fail to see this. Is there infidelity in your family history? That might be worth exploring. Healthy people don't act out this way. They might think about it....but they don't act on it.

It’s true of all cheaters.

Yea the level of entitlement is really something.

Oh please give me a break with this. Like the wives in this circle are thinking about her?

[Anonymous]

I’m a divorced woman with couple friends and one of the dads has pretty blatantly tested me out with flirting to see if/how I respond. I am so disgusted by it and find it so insulting bc I know he has zero interest in anything substantive and just is seeing whether I am desperate/easy enough to fall for what I’m sure he thinks of as harmless spice. Well I’m friends with his wife and our kids out friends and my kid would lose his two best friends if this happened; besides which why would I want to be used and use someone for something so fleeting and empty? I’m real love or bust.

[Anonymous]

Seems like a good way to end up with no husband AND no friends

Feel free to enjoy the attention and flirt, but take that energy to a guy who isn’t married to one of your friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell your friends when you are looking for a hookup. You never know who may lend your their husband. Seriously, years ago one of my close friends got divorced. She didn’t want to get into another relationship but said she was “lonely” every now and then. One evening when she told me this I told her to sit tight that I was sending my husband over. I asked him to take a bottle of wine over to her. When he got there I texted both of them and that was that. He took care of her and got home and we never spoke about it again. She got back with her husband not too long after and we all get together at least once a month for dinner.

You’re a good friend.