Seeing Married Men in Your Circle

[Anonymous]

You a ho.

[Anonymous]

Question to OP - as you surely anticipated, the DCUM crowd has told you a zillion reasons not to do this - so what exactly do you consider the ADVANTAGE to hooking up with friends' husbands as opposed to normal hook up routes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Suppose you are separated for 7 months. Eveyone in you and you exes circle knows. For years leading up to the sepration, you had 'chemistry' with two of the other husbands in your circle. Since separation flirting has increased noticeably.

I don't want another husband, but I would like an occasional affectionate partner. If it was kept purely physical and no emotions at all, (I guarantee I can do this) how feasibale is it for the next few months?

I just want some physical intimacy with men I 'know'. I have no interest in hook ups off the internet.

I'm 42, in the DC area, custody of 10-13 YO kids is split and the separation is amicable. I can't be the only one.

With judgment this poor, it’s safe to assume the ‘chemistry’ is a figment of your imagination. Also safe to assume you are 100% NOT capable of doing this without emotion considering that would take some serious willpower, which you seem to lack entirely - something that became clear from the moment you crossed the line from unspoken fantasy fiction novel to actually considering the plot for yourself. The prior sentence also suggests you are not smart enough to pull this off without getting caught and blowing up a bunch of lives in the process due to the fact that you think it’s a good idea to shit where you eat and where your kids eat <— a clear indication that you possess zero critical thinking skills…and for all of the complicated plot twists in this little scheme of yours, critical thinking skills are a requirement.

You’re a train wreck of monumental proportions…one that could set off an earthquake, shaking down everyone’s house. If you want to go off the rails, do it on an empty train.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Question to OP - as you surely anticipated, the DCUM crowd has told you a zillion reasons not to do this - so what exactly do you consider the ADVANTAGE to hooking up with friends' husbands as opposed to normal hook up routes?

The wives are probably a 7 and OP is a 3 — self-esteem boost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ignore the haters. I say go for it. This actually happened in our neighborhood. Everyone found out, the bus stop became hilariously awkward. Still is when all four of the relevant parents are there at once.

Well then, go ahead, give OP your husband’s number.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ OP, I know it may be hard, but take a look at that prior post and try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes for just a few minutes here. You are focused on you right now - getting the kind of attention that you want from the kind of guy that suits you at this moment. The problem is that what you want (or think you want) will have catastrophic impact on others around you, and even on you if you think about it. Save for a few moments of gratification, no good can come from you running around with married men. (Yes, I noticed you said “men” in the plural, not even just one guy.) You are better than this; your kids are better than this; your friend circle is better than this. You have the chance right now to stop the nonsense, get your house in order, be a good parent to your kids, be a good friend to others, and live a life where you can hold your head up and be proud of how you conduct your life. I personally think the best thing you can be is a good role model for your kids and a trustworthy friend to others. What you are contemplating is the opposite of that and will not serve you. Good luck and hope you make the right decisions.

I won’t discount your kindness here, but it’s woefully misguided. You are trying to reason with a selfish person. You can’t get through to selfish people, all they care about is themselves.

OP isn’t capable of putting herself in someone else’s shoes. She doesn’t care about the catastrophic impact it will have on others. She doesn’t care about her kids’ feelings, her friends’ feelings or anyone else’s for that matter. She cares about herself and that’s it, no more and no less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ OP, I know it may be hard, but take a look at that prior post and try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes for just a few minutes here. You are focused on you right now - getting the kind of attention that you want from the kind of guy that suits you at this moment. The problem is that what you want (or think you want) will have catastrophic impact on others around you, and even on you if you think about it. Save for a few moments of gratification, no good can come from you running around with married men. (Yes, I noticed you said “men” in the plural, not even just one guy.) You are better than this; your kids are better than this; your friend circle is better than this. You have the chance right now to stop the nonsense, get your house in order, be a good parent to your kids, be a good friend to others, and live a life where you can hold your head up and be proud of how you conduct your life. I personally think the best thing you can be is a good role model for your kids and a trustworthy friend to others. What you are contemplating is the opposite of that and will not serve you. Good luck and hope you make the right decisions.

Maybe she isn’t better. Maybe she is that type of cheater that has always been supremely selfish, blameless and lacking empathy and morals. Self-righteous and passive aggressive. These type of cheating women and men certainly aren’t in short supply.

I think there is hope for OP. If what she’s saying is true, she hasn’t acted (yet) on the “chemistry.” She probably is going through a tough time with her separation, and now the holidays, and seeing what others have that she does not have at present. The holidays can be tough, plus the Covid scare on top of everything. It’s no wonder OP might be eager for affection from someone familiar, and who seems to be expressing some interest in her.

But OP make no mistake - cheating men have a “type,” and that type is the desperate woman whose circumstances make it unlikely she will spill the beans on him. You being in the friend circle makes it unlikely you’d spill the beans, so you are more of a safe bet for the cheater. This is NOT a good thing. This is not a compliment. Do not, in your moment of weakness, set yourself up to be somebody’s side piece. Again, you are better than that.

She can find someone familiar who’s not married. It’s unlikely she knows ONLY married people. The fact that she specified only married men suggests she’s not just “going through a tough time” or that it’s just the “holidays”. She also specified she desires only physical with no emotion, so her longing for the lovey dovey comfort that the holidays bring is a load of bull. It’s not about seeing what others have that she doesn’t have at present — if that were the case she wouldn’t be trying to burn their houses down. In this case, she doesn’t have it so she wants no one else to have it, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Listen, OP, be the woman these men lust over, the woman their wives wish they could be and the mother your children can look up to. Be the better person, these married men are not your problem, let their wives realize and deal with the fact that these men aren’t in love with them anymore, if they ever even were, they only stay married because it’s easier and cheaper, rise up and be the better person. It will be worth it in the end. Get a pet.

I don't know, if I were one of these women, based on what the OP has said, it would take her changing a lot for me to wish I could be her. I don't even wish to be the friends I admire a lot. To wish to be somebody who wanted to sleep with my husband, or another one in my circle, whoever she could get? I can't imagine that happening, even if my husband wasn't in love with me.

Ah, but you’ll never know she wishes to sleep with your husband because she won’t. OP needs to be the best role model to her kids that she can be, these couples may appear perfect and happy on the outside, that’s what she is after, the illusion, not the man per se. If these married men are flirting with you, they will flirt with anything. If you actually knew these men, OP you probably wouldn’t want anything to do with them.

Clearly if they’re flirting with the OP (according to her), they don’t actually appear perfect and happy on the outside. She’s not after any illusion because there isn’t one if they’re openly flirting with her. As for the last line of your comment, it doesn’t make any sense because despite being married, OP still wants them. If they’re flirting with her like she says, she’s experiencing them being scumbags and it’s not stopping her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are people really buying this? Are people really that dumb to post identifiers and then say they want to bang their friends' husbands?
Nah this is a work of fantasy.

I don't really believe OP is serious, she's either a troll or just word vomiting on the internet, but the comments have been worth reading.

Even if she is trolling, there are desperate, pathetic, needy women like OP that exist.

That’s a bit harsh, she is in love with the illusion of your perfect blissful married life. She needs a wake up call, these men are not worth it.

What? If she’s so in love with the illusion of a perfect, blissful, married life, why would she want to destroy that illusion? There’s a huge contradiction and serious lack of self-awareness behind the idea of wanting what others have have TOGETHER and intending to destroy it with the hope that you’ll be the one to have it. They made that life together, with each other, sans OP. OP is not the wife, therefore it won’t be the same “perfect, blissful, married life” she’s currently observing. It will be different and the so-called illusion will be no more.