What’s the end game plan for a cheating husband?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sex. Companionship. Physical need. Emotional need.

This will shock woman, but men need attention also. Most often husbands cheat because they are lacking something at home: emotional support/attention, physical need, etc. it's sad generally people think men don't need these things. Thus the issues.

Attachment issues from their childhood. Newsflash: many were getting all of that, including sex. The need for external validation in large amounts stems from childhood wounds. Quit victim blaming.

What victim?

The one getting lied to, gaslit and exposed to diseases without their consent.

[Anonymous]

I wish the open marriage poster and the woman who insists all cheating is from childhood trauma and never about lack of sex, would pair off and leave the rest of us alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep going until the wife ends it and /or the OWs life is ruined.

You have that turned around.

What, you think the OW ends it and the wife’s life is ruined? That seldom happens.

Some men end it. In fact, that happens a lot, especially when the OW starts getting needy and pressuring him for more time, asking where it’s going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two friends like this. Both in their 40s-50s. They just want sex, which they aren't getting in their marriage. They still want to "grow old" with their wife and kids. I'm guessing the end game is their libido will die down in a few years (or no women will want them), then they'll cut if off and go back to their pre-cheating life.

I know a few that are having sex in their marriage (they have said as much), but they all cheat in their circle. From all appearances, they seem to really love their wives. Their wives are pretty, fun-loving, have careers, etc. Midlife crisises are strange.

Most cheaters like this have something internal going on. Issues that having nothing to do with their spouse. Knowing the wives, I can’t imagine any of them would stay married if they found out what was happening behind their backs. They definitely would not be okay with it.

Maybe I’m naive. I read 65% of long marriages will have infidelity at some point.

If I injected you with the testosterone men have, then had your husband deny you sex entirely or limit you to once a month pity sex, you would understand how simple this is for men. I promise you

[Anonymous]

End game: cheat and never get caught. Find a no strings situation. And change women every few years for variety, when novelty of current OW wears off and she starts to get emotionally needy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two friends like this. Both in their 40s-50s. They just want sex, which they aren't getting in their marriage. They still want to "grow old" with their wife and kids. I'm guessing the end game is their libido will die down in a few years (or no women will want them), then they'll cut if off and go back to their pre-cheating life.

I know a few that are having sex in their marriage (they have said as much), but they all cheat in their circle. From all appearances, they seem to really love their wives. Their wives are pretty, fun-loving, have careers, etc. Midlife crisises are strange.

Most cheaters like this have something internal going on. Issues that having nothing to do with their spouse. Knowing the wives, I can’t imagine any of them would stay married if they found out what was happening behind their backs. They definitely would not be okay with it.

Maybe I’m naive. I read 65% of long marriages will have infidelity at some point.

If I injected you with the testosterone men have, then had your husband deny you sex entirely or limit you to once a month pity sex, you would understand how simple this is for men. I promise you

Oh, and by the way, I understand why this is so offense for some to read. Some men do cheat who have a sexually generous spouse at home and their is nothing their wife could do differently. Monogamy is hard under good circumstances, impossible if not done right.

If you tell me you were a loving and sexually generous wife and got cheated on anyway, I believe you. I know many men like your husband

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two friends like this. Both in their 40s-50s. They just want sex, which they aren't getting in their marriage. They still want to "grow old" with their wife and kids. I'm guessing the end game is their libido will die down in a few years (or no women will want them), then they'll cut if off and go back to their pre-cheating life.

I know a few that are having sex in their marriage (they have said as much), but they all cheat in their circle. From all appearances, they seem to really love their wives. Their wives are pretty, fun-loving, have careers, etc. Midlife crisises are strange.

Most cheaters like this have something internal going on. Issues that having nothing to do with their spouse. Knowing the wives, I can’t imagine any of them would stay married if they found out what was happening behind their backs. They definitely would not be okay with it.

Maybe I’m naive. I read 65% of long marriages will have infidelity at some point.

If I injected you with the testosterone men have, then had your husband deny you sex entirely or limit you to once a month pity sex, you would understand how simple this is for men. I promise you

If I gave you testosterone pills you would see how high drive men can have sex multiple times a week at home and still lust for outside action.

You wouldn’t understand because you are average at best. Definitely not capable of more than once per day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two friends like this. Both in their 40s-50s. They just want sex, which they aren't getting in their marriage. They still want to "grow old" with their wife and kids. I'm guessing the end game is their libido will die down in a few years (or no women will want them), then they'll cut if off and go back to their pre-cheating life.

I know a few that are having sex in their marriage (they have said as much), but they all cheat in their circle. From all appearances, they seem to really love their wives. Their wives are pretty, fun-loving, have careers, etc. Midlife crisises are strange.

Most cheaters like this have something internal going on. Issues that having nothing to do with their spouse. Knowing the wives, I can’t imagine any of them would stay married if they found out what was happening behind their backs. They definitely would not be okay with it.

Maybe I’m naive. I read 65% of long marriages will have infidelity at some point.

If I injected you with the testosterone men have, then had your husband deny you sex entirely or limit you to once a month pity sex, you would understand how simple this is for men. I promise you

Oh, and by the way, I understand why this is so offense for some to read. Some men do cheat who have a sexually generous spouse at home and their is nothing their wife could do differently. Monogamy is hard under good circumstances, impossible if not done right.

If you tell me you were a loving and sexually generous wife and got cheated on anyway, I believe you. I know many men like your husband

This is a change in tune. You never conceded it was possible prior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:End game: cheat and never get caught. Find a no strings situation. And change women every few years for variety, when novelty of current OW wears off and she starts to get emotionally needy.

Thus about sums it up for serial cheaters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sex. Companionship. Physical need. Emotional need.

This will shock woman, but men need attention also. Most often husbands cheat because they are lacking something at home: emotional support/attention, physical need, etc. it's sad generally people think men don't need these things. Thus the issues.

Attachment issues from their childhood. Newsflash: many were getting all of that, including sex. The need for external validation in large amounts stems from childhood wounds. Quit victim blaming.

What victim?

The one getting lied to, gaslit and exposed to diseases without their consent.

Not all wives and marriages are great. Look at all the posts from unsatisfied men. Some women are just not great wives -
Lazy, nag, never want sex, spendthrifts, emotionally cold. Why is this woman always the victim? Seems like husband cheating is karma. Not all wives are victims.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sex. Companionship. Physical need. Emotional need.

This will shock woman, but men need attention also. Most often husbands cheat because they are lacking something at home: emotional support/attention, physical need, etc. it's sad generally people think men don't need these things. Thus the issues.

Attachment issues from their childhood. Newsflash: many were getting all of that, including sex. The need for external validation in large amounts stems from childhood wounds. Quit victim blaming.

What victim?

The one getting lied to, gaslit and exposed to diseases without their consent.

Not all wives and marriages are great. Look at all the posts from unsatisfied men. Some women are just not great wives -
Lazy, nag, never want sex, spendthrifts, emotionally cold. Why is this woman always the victim? Seems like husband cheating is karma. Not all wives are victims.

Ha. A cheating husband is such a great guy. Critical and emotionally abusive at home. Not engaged. But the 2% of OW eventually find that out if he ever leaves the wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sex. Companionship. Physical need. Emotional need.

This will shock woman, but men need attention also. Most often husbands cheat because they are lacking something at home: emotional support/attention, physical need, etc. it's sad generally people think men don't need these things. Thus the issues.

Attachment issues from their childhood. Newsflash: many were getting all of that, including sex. The need for external validation in large amounts stems from childhood wounds. Quit victim blaming.

What victim?

The one getting lied to, gaslit and exposed to diseases without their consent.

Not all wives and marriages are great. Look at all the posts from unsatisfied men. Some women are just not great wives -
Lazy, nag, never want sex, spendthrifts, emotionally cold. Why is this woman always the victim? Seems like husband cheating is karma. Not all wives are victims.

Then get a friggin divorce.

[Anonymous]

Sex. Having sex is end game. That’s it. Spouse doesn’t want it, have discussed and she is just completely done and has no desire, nor any desire to see if she could want it again. Have read many books and podcasts to see what I can do, but it is over. So it’s sex. Still want, don’t really want to go for the rest of life without it, but also would rather not divorce as we have kids and are financially stable with a good retirement planned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sex. Companionship. Physical need. Emotional need.

This will shock woman, but men need attention also. Most often husbands cheat because they are lacking something at home: emotional support/attention, physical need, etc. it's sad generally people think men don't need these things. Thus the issues.

Attachment issues from their childhood. Newsflash: many were getting all of that, including sex. The need for external validation in large amounts stems from childhood wounds. Quit victim blaming.

What victim?

The one getting lied to, gaslit and exposed to diseases without their consent.

Not all wives and marriages are great. Look at all the posts from unsatisfied men. Some women are just not great wives -
Lazy, nag, never want sex, spendthrifts, emotionally cold. Why is this woman always the victim? Seems like husband cheating is karma. Not all wives are victims.

Then get a friggin divorce.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sex. Having sex is end game. That’s it. Spouse doesn’t want it, have discussed and she is just completely done and has no desire, nor any desire to see if she could want it again. Have read many books and podcasts to see what I can do, but it is over. So it’s sex. Still want, don’t really want to go for the rest of life without it, but also would rather not divorce as we have kids and are financially stable with a good retirement planned.

So what are you telling the OW? Or are you telling her it’s just for sex?