What’s the end game plan for a cheating husband?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was silver divorce for mine, retirement with somebody else that he carefully planned

So how did he plan it? Didn't he lose 1/2 his wealth anyway?

No, he secretly hid most of his wealth abroad which took him several years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really depends on the guy, the type of relationship with the OW, and the nature of the marriage.

In most cases the plan is cake-eating until something happens to upset the balance.

+100

Or they can't live with the guilt and shame anymore and find out it really wasn't the stress reliever/escape they imagined it would be. A lot like growing up (or out of the midlife crisis).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was silver divorce for mine, retirement with somebody else that he carefully planned

So how did he plan it? Didn't he lose 1/2 his wealth anyway?

No, he secretly hid most of his wealth abroad which took him several years

That is vile. Hope you still did OK.

[Anonymous]

He had no plan. He didn’t think I would ever find out. When I did, he thought he could tell me a big elaborate lie, and I would believe him when he said he would never do it again. I will never forget the look on his face when I told him I knew he was cheating again, and he would have to move out in 48 hours.

He had no plan. He deluded himself that he could just take what he felt like taking from anyone any time he wanted to.

[Anonymous]

My plan was simply to scratch an itch not being scratched at home, and to enjoy that feeling of being desired again. My marriage is so sex starved that if my spouse found out, and wanted to divorce over it, I wouldn't fight it.

I would not be able to stay married and be totally celibate. Having occasional sex outside the marriage allows me to stay married. People in my situation understand, those who aren't, can't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My plan was to have sex with someone who wanted to have sex with me. Yes, to have my cake and eat it too. There was no plan, it was short-term pleasure and filling a need that wasn't filled in my marriage.

it's not complicated.

Is it really that hard for men to keep their ding dong in their pants?

[Anonymous]

If he’s doing it because his wife has told him she’s not going to have sex with him anymore I see no need for an endgame.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the man and the situation. Some women on DCUM seem to want to categorize all cheaters in one camp. That they all have the same end game and cheat for the same reason. It doesn’t work like that. For some men, they just want more sex. For other men, they want out of their marriages and they are open to a reason to leave.

Some men I’ve known cheat because they can. For them, men are only as faithful as their opportunities. They have the ability to cheat and largely not get caught. They cheat because new sex is hot for most men and they can. They don’t necessarily want to leave their wife/children, so they cheat instead of leave and divorce.

Some men are just living and meet someone they want more. They are complacent in the marriage, but probably wouldn’t marry the same woman again. They don’t leave, because things aren’t terrible, but they are easily lead astray when someone better comes along. These men don’t affair down, they affair up to someone they perceive is better - younger, more attractive, isn’t a habitual nag, sex positive, brings in an income. This is how I started with DH. We met, quickly fell in love, he told his wife that month he was leaving her, and they were divorced 8 months later. They didn’t have kids and he walked away with all this assets. He just didn’t want to be married to his X anymore.

[Anonymous]

Some men are just living and meet someone they want more. They are complacent in the marriage, but probably wouldn’t marry the same woman again. They don’t leave, because things aren’t terrible, but they are easily lead astray when someone better comes along. These men don’t affair down, they affair up to someone they perceive is better - younger, more attractive, isn’t a habitual nag, sex positive, brings in an income. This is how I started with DH. We met, quickly fell in love, he told his wife that month he was leaving her, and they were divorced 8 months later. They didn’t have kids and he walked away with all this assets. He just didn’t want to be married to his X anymore.

You think he “affaired up” with you? That’s laughable. Just from one post we can see that you are arrogant, lack empathy and judgment. Not a prize, but then he isn’t, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My plan was to have sex with someone who wanted to have sex with me. Yes, to have my cake and eat it too. There was no plan, it was short-term pleasure and filling a need that wasn't filled in my marriage.

it's not complicated.

Is it really that hard for men to keep their ding dong in their pants?

My mom said the same thing when my brother came out as gay. Why can't he not act on it? Some people like PP don't see sexual intimacy as a need, something they can turn off

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My plan was to have sex with someone who wanted to have sex with me. Yes, to have my cake and eat it too. There was no plan, it was short-term pleasure and filling a need that wasn't filled in my marriage.

it's not complicated.

Is it really that hard for men to keep their ding dong in their pants?

Honestly, yes. Monogamy is really, really hard for men. Some are better at it than others.

[Anonymous]

All out dirty, kinky sex. You lick my bhole, I lick yours. Three way, pegging, a$&@ beads, water sports, whatever… 😈

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My plan was to have sex with someone who wanted to have sex with me. Yes, to have my cake and eat it too. There was no plan, it was short-term pleasure and filling a need that wasn't filled in my marriage.

it's not complicated.

Is it really that hard for men to keep their ding dong in their pants?[/quote
]. Yes, it really is. She decided, she no longer wants sex. I don't share in that decision and have decided that I still want sex. It's really that simple and just as simple to meet women in the same situation, or even single women (much to my surprise) who just want good sex for some period of time without a relationship. There is no end game. I stay away from married women looking for an exit affair. Most of them are not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My plan was to have sex with someone who wanted to have sex with me. Yes, to have my cake and eat it too. There was no plan, it was short-term pleasure and filling a need that wasn't filled in my marriage.

it's not complicated.

Is it really that hard for men to keep their ding dong in their pants?

Honestly, yes. Monogamy is really, really hard for men. Some are better at it than others.

As usual, all Comme ts are directed at the motivations of men, as if women don't have the same needs. I can assure you, there are just as many cheating women out there as cheating men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends on the man and the situation. Some women on DCUM seem to want to categorize all cheaters in one camp. That they all have the same end game and cheat for the same reason. It doesn’t work like that. For some men, they just want more sex. For other men, they want out of their marriages and they are open to a reason to leave.

Some men I’ve known cheat because they can. For them, men are only as faithful as their opportunities. They have the ability to cheat and largely not get caught. They cheat because new sex is hot for most men and they can. They don’t necessarily want to leave their wife/children, so they cheat instead of leave and divorce.

Some men are just living and meet someone they want more. They are complacent in the marriage, but probably wouldn’t marry the same woman again. They don’t leave, because things aren’t terrible, but they are easily lead astray when someone better comes along. These men don’t affair down, they affair up to someone they perceive is better - younger, more attractive, isn’t a habitual nag, sex positive, brings in an income. This is how I started with DH. We met, quickly fell in love, he told his wife that month he was leaving her, and they were divorced 8 months later. They didn’t have kids and he walked away with all this assets. He just didn’t want to be married to his X anymore.

I have honestly never seen a man that, at least on the surface, has affair-ed up. But I have met many OW who think that they have.