husband wants to keep baby and I don't

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op I was in a similar but reversed situation. Dh wanted the abortion. I did not. Kept baby and divorced. As a single mom I was afraid of poverty. But I have a job, home, health insurance and food. Couldn’t justify (in my mind) abortion on poverty grounds. Glad I kept my kid and ditched the ex.

She wants the opposite. Not similar at all.

Glad it worked out in your mind for you.

[Anonymous]

But, no matter what age, it's OP's body. OP's husband's assertion of "baby or I'm out" is just a detrimental and toxic statement to any relationship, and that relationship will not last long even when baby pops out.

No. If you want to make unilateral life and death decisions, don't get married. Otherwise the other person can walk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s interesting how many PPs think that OP needs a justifiable reason to end her pregnancy. In reality it’s very hard to get an abortion in the US right now. Many states have so many barriers to abortion.
Incidentally the vast majority of abortions are performed on married women who already have children and do not want more.

And often their husbands are on the same page, or they are in tumultuous relationships. OP’S husband wants this baby and she has not said anything to indicate that the marriage is unstable.

Well, it’s unstable now. He’ll either leave her right after the abortion or live in hate until the DD is an adult. OP should schedule the divorce lawyer the same day as the abortion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having lived in poverty for awhile I agree that most people on DCUM have no idea whatsoever what being poor is like. OP I support your decision.

I have a very clear idea what poverty is like. There were many times we went to bed hungry. I still don’t think it’s a legitimate reason for an abortion because OP isn’t living in poverty now. She’s looking for an excuse and this is the best she can come up with. I’m pro-choice and I don’t support her in this.

I also grew up hungry, electric/gas and water shut off, shoes two sizes too small. Evicted three times before I left home at 17. OP has PTSD as a result and can’t distinguish what’s an actual threat to her daughter’s happiness from non-threats. An additional sibling in a wealthy household is not a threat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Skipped to the end here: OP originally said no kids. Then had one who is now 11, and has an accidental pregnancy. I can fully understand not wanting to start all over again with an infant that was unplanned. I think that OP would probably get over the regret of an abortion faster than the many many years ahead of raiding another child. It’s her body and we all know that the woman does both the pregnancy and the work of child rearing. Yes Dads help but the burden is on the woman. It’s ok OP to make a hard decision.

I am a therapist, and you will be surprised how many woman cannot get over past abortion, even 20+ years later. And this is not religious woman (for those I think is much easier to find a forgiveness and piece). A lot of women don't understand what mental damage it may cause in a long term.

I am also a therapist and many women deeply and permanently regret having more children than they wanted.

I was the unwanted child. Growing up I used to think about how my parents would have been better people if they had just had strength to get an abortion. My childhood was horrible. I knew and understood that I wasn’t wanted. I was neglected. It took a long time to move past my upbringing. As an adult I think abortion is the compassionate choice - for the child.

I have children of my own, and if one of them came to me with an unplanned pregnancy, I would fully support them in terminating.

Another unwanted child here - [phone]

You both need therapy if you wish you had been aborted instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have an 11 year old dd and I just found out I am pregnant. I don't want this child and my husband wants it. I have been so careful with my birth control regiment. Our dd is set for life and if we have another one it means that she will get half of what she has now and her inheritance will be divided by two. I just can't. We have discussed it for three days now and he won't budge. If I terminate he threatened divorce. I cannot bring a child into this world that I know I won't love. When we got married we both didn't want any children, then he changed his mind and I gave in. I only agreed because he promised we would be one and done.

If he promised he's be one and done he would have had a vasectomy or you should have demanded it. Not doing so has led to this. Basing your decision on your daughter only getting half of an inheritance is pretty awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am also a therapist and many women deeply and permanently regret having more children than they wanted.

I was the unwanted child. Growing up I used to think about how my parents would have been better people if they had just had strength to get an abortion. My childhood was horrible. I knew and understood that I wasn’t wanted. I was neglected. It took a long time to move past my upbringing. As an adult I think abortion is the compassionate choice - for the child.

I have children of my own, and if one of them came to me with an unplanned pregnancy, I would fully support them in terminating.

Another unwanted child here - [phone]

You both need therapy if you wish you had been aborted instead.

You must come from a very privileged background if you can’t understand that negative experiences - especially childhood experiences - influence your decisions. And I say that with no bitterness! I wish every child could be so ignorant of life’s unpleasant realities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have an 11 year old dd and I just found out I am pregnant. I don't want this child and my husband wants it. I have been so careful with my birth control regiment. Our dd is set for life and if we have another one it means that she will get half of what she has now and her inheritance will be divided by two. I just can't. We have discussed it for three days now and he won't budge. If I terminate he threatened divorce. I cannot bring a child into this world that I know I won't love. When we got married we both didn't want any children, then he changed his mind and I gave in. I only agreed because he promised we would be one and done.

How old are you? Why do you care about your child's inheritance? You'll be dead; your child needs to learn to fend for him/herself before then. Seriously?! Either this is a troll or really irrational. I can see not wanting another child, but not because your concerned about your current child's inheritance.

[Anonymous]

This thread is fascinating because the PPs go beyond mean and into cruel and proud of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op I was in a similar but reversed situation. Dh wanted the abortion. I did not. Kept baby and divorced. As a single mom I was afraid of poverty. But I have a job, home, health insurance and food. Couldn’t justify (in my mind) abortion on poverty grounds. Glad I kept my kid and ditched the ex.

She wants the opposite. Not similar at all.

Glad it worked out in your mind for you.

Why the negative response? The impression I get from your response is that a woman MUST have an abortion because it’s her right. So bizarre. From what I’ve read so far, the inflexible pro-choicers are just as crazy as the pro-lifers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is fascinating because the PPs go beyond mean and into cruel and proud of it.

Yes. It’s so hard to fathom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is fascinating because the PPs go beyond mean and into cruel and proud of it.

Yes. It’s so hard to fathom.

Where's the cruelty?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op I was in a similar but reversed situation. Dh wanted the abortion. I did not. Kept baby and divorced. As a single mom I was afraid of poverty. But I have a job, home, health insurance and food. Couldn’t justify (in my mind) abortion on poverty grounds. Glad I kept my kid and ditched the ex.

She wants the opposite. Not similar at all.

Glad it worked out in your mind for you.

Why the negative response? The impression I get from your response is that a woman MUST have an abortion because it’s her right. So bizarre. From what I’ve read so far, the inflexible pro-choicers are just as crazy as the pro-lifers.

Not at all.

Pro Choice means choice is either way. Totally support whatever decision the female makes.

If for you it is what you want that's great.

What I dislike is the number of posters that seem to think just because they do not understand OP's choice she is wrong. That's what I object to.

[Anonymous]

Pro Choice = Choice

Her Body Her Choice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am also a therapist and many women deeply and permanently regret having more children than they wanted.

I was the unwanted child. Growing up I used to think about how my parents would have been better people if they had just had strength to get an abortion. My childhood was horrible. I knew and understood that I wasn’t wanted. I was neglected. It took a long time to move past my upbringing. As an adult I think abortion is the compassionate choice - for the child.

I have children of my own, and if one of them came to me with an unplanned pregnancy, I would fully support them in terminating.

Another unwanted child here - [phone]

You both need therapy if you wish you had been aborted instead.

You must come from a very privileged background if you can’t understand that negative experiences - especially childhood experiences - influence your decisions. And I say that with no bitterness! I wish every child could be so ignorant of life’s unpleasant realities.

I was the evicted three times by 17 poster. And anyone who wishes they were aborted needs therapy.