Mothers - How many sex partners would you want your daughter to have prior to marriage?

[Anonymous]

didnt know where to put this so i'm putting it here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is so fucking stupid. We women really can't win.

I hadn't slept with anyone in my early 20's, and neither had my roommate. Not for religious reasons, we just hadn't (OK, she had a fundamentalist period in her life and I was raised Catholic, but we were weedy and clubby at that time, and I was a mild alcoholic to boot, and we were both intensely interested in having LTR's and boyfriends, and we didn't have any religious restrictions by that point).

You wouldn't believe the ribbing and teasing we got from our peers. We were all single, newly graduated, with entry-level jobs and our own apartments, so yeah, we all knew everything about each other--including sexual histories. They would consider the grief good-natured, but it got really aggravating. I remember having lots of late-night conversations with my poor roommate, who wondered if there was something "wrong" with us. I would remind her that it was really, really, really easy for a chick to have sex, that it wasn't a poor reflection on us per se because yeah, I could fix it in a heartbeat by going to any bar and picking up some dude that very night.

Well, she couldn't handle it anymore, and just went ahead and had a one-night stand. Uh, actually, she slept with some "cute" guy right away, who promptly dumped her after one night, thereby turning it into a one-night stand. The emotional fallout was pretty awful.

So, yeah, if you DON'T sleep with anyone you're a big freaking weirdo, if you DO sleep with a lot of people, you're a dirty slut.

Do what makes you happy. I'm almost 40 now, married with kids, and there is NO CORRELATION I see with the number of partners one has had and having a happily-ever-after life. But I do see a correlation between knowing what you want and making smart decisions and choosing a compatible person.

Stupid numbers game was started by insecure men with inferiority complexes. It's about as dehumanizing and stupid and putting a moral value on a man just based on his salary (which we women are guilty of, btw).

Interesting that it was your friends shaming you like that. Females?



and again, I know people love to bash me for starting this thread - but its almost 30 pages in a just a few days. People obviously have emotions and thoughts about it. which is why I started it. I don't care one iota what your numbers are or what you actually may or may not tell your daughters nor do I even think anyone should ever give a quota or a max unless its 0 until marriage.

the point was to discuss the whys about some number, an arbitrary number. to flesh out what motivates people and why. to see how people react. to see how people defend certain positions. to illustrate how various people of ostensibly the same cohort view things differently.

I know some of you like to have anger towards me, but if you see my goal, which was to create this dialogue - which has happened - maybe you can appreciate this mini study into sexuality.

the real moral to this thread here is that you can do whatever you want however you want. and some people may judge you for it and some may celebrate it. it may or may not impact your future success. it may or may not impact you personally. each choice has pros and cons - i.e there is not one perfect course of action

i like thinking about our collective 'morals' as a society and to wonder where they come from. what was the biological need they met? how do those needs intersect with technology today? especially reproductive technology and sexual health technology. do we overcome, evolve, what do we do? how do we counter act 10,000's of years of evolution with change in behaviors that are relatively brand new? what is that transition period like?

so thats why this thread exists. and why i chose this silly exercise, to elicit a discussion. which it did.

thank you dcum.

Conducting studies on people without their informed consent is deceptive and unethical.

You really are a scumbag.

HAHA are you serious?

its not a STUDY but an exercise, something to do, an experience, you know - a conversation

You're the one who used the word "study."

Your behavior is sociopathic. You poke people to make them scream and then enjoy the results as entertainment. It wasn't an honest question. It was a pot stirring troll designed to make people scream and fight.

You are a scumbag. Pure trash.

[Anonymous]

You are so mad!

[Anonymous]

What a strange thing to think about, maybe 5? Enough experience to. Know what's going on, but not so many that she is overly experienced?

[Anonymous]

"I like to reduce women to a number, because they're not really people. It's fun! I don't care about the topic, but I like to use judgmental language."

Better than your long-winded farewell.

[Anonymous]

This thread has left me so frustrated and annoyed, and not with the "slut-shamers". I'm annoyed with the people here who are willfully blind to the fact that your sexual history, whether you're a man or a woman, says something about. YES, IT DOES.

The only reason why your sexual history doesn't come to bite you in the ass later on is because there's no official record of it, unlike say you college transcript. Do your academic grades say something about your mind, your habits and your values? YES.

Does your sexual history say something about your mind, your habits, and your values? YES.

I hate that people blindly advocate the freedom to practice casual sex and "have as high a number as you want" and act as if the only thing to worry about is STDs. Sex has an emotional and spiritual force. People who are callous with it when they don't know what they're doing - like, for example, teenagers - are damaged when they misuse it. This is not me trying to prove some evil religious agenda (I'm not religious). This is reality.

And when we live in a society where women have the power to choose, where women are biologically the decision-makers when it comes to whether sex is going to happen or not, then yes, her choice matters. Like it or not, we do not live in a matriarchal island society where girls chase boys and rack up conquests. We live in a society that has for centuries conditioned men to hunt and it's created a society where women have the power to choose and BECAUSE they have the power to choose, their perceived selectivity becomes important.

Hate on me all you want for calling it like it is. Despite your dearest hopes, I am not sexist.

[Anonymous]

What ever she does after the age of 18 as an adult is up to her and none of my business. I would simply hope that I would be able to empower her with knowledge through honest and open mother-daughter communication to the point that she would be able to make safe and informed decisions from an emotionally secure standpoint. I would also hope that by that point she would have had ample opportunity to explore and get to know herself sexually before adding anyone else into the equation.

[Anonymous]

17 - age to start
Average of one lover every 18 months until she finds the right man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread has left me so frustrated and annoyed, and not with the "slut-shamers". I'm annoyed with the people here who are willfully blind to the fact that your sexual history, whether you're a man or a woman, says something about. YES, IT DOES.

The only reason why your sexual history doesn't come to bite you in the ass later on is because there's no official record of it, unlike say you college transcript. Do your academic grades say something about your mind, your habits and your values? YES.

Does your sexual history say something about your mind, your habits, and your values? YES.

I hate that people blindly advocate the freedom to practice casual sex and "have as high a number as you want" and act as if the only thing to worry about is STDs. Sex has an emotional and spiritual force. People who are callous with it when they don't know what they're doing - like, for example, teenagers - are damaged when they misuse it. This is not me trying to prove some evil religious agenda (I'm not religious). This is reality.

And when we live in a society where women have the power to choose, where women are biologically the decision-makers when it comes to whether sex is going to happen or not, then yes, her choice matters. Like it or not, we do not live in a matriarchal island society where girls chase boys and rack up conquests. We live in a society that has for centuries conditioned men to hunt and it's created a society where women have the power to choose and BECAUSE they have the power to choose, their perceived selectivity becomes important.

Hate on me all you want for calling it like it is. Despite your dearest hopes, I am not sexist.

This is not true for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, zero.

It would be great if she would wait for marriage.

But, I was a slutty teenager and have a checkered past. I don't want my daughter to make the same mistakes I did.

[Anonymous]

Um, the answer is 1. She's allowed one mistake or ex before she chooses the right one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What ever she does after the age of 18 as an adult is up to her and none of my business. I would simply hope that I would be able to empower her with knowledge through honest and open mother-daughter communication to the point that she would be able to make safe and informed decisions from an emotionally secure standpoint. I would also hope that by that point she would have had ample opportunity to explore and get to know herself sexually before adding anyone else into the equation.

WRONG. What your daughter does is YOUR business, as well as her father's, because she's your daughter. Period. In addition, you'll be helping her out financially in college, right?

[Anonymous]

ZERO!

[Anonymous]

1, the love of her life who is going to marry her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread has left me so frustrated and annoyed, and not with the "slut-shamers". I'm annoyed with the people here who are willfully blind to the fact that your sexual history, whether you're a man or a woman, says something about. YES, IT DOES.

The only reason why your sexual history doesn't come to bite you in the ass later on is because there's no official record of it, unlike say you college transcript. Do your academic grades say something about your mind, your habits and your values? YES.

Does your sexual history say something about your mind, your habits, and your values? YES.

I hate that people blindly advocate the freedom to practice casual sex and "have as high a number as you want" and act as if the only thing to worry about is STDs. Sex has an emotional and spiritual force. People who are callous with it when they don't know what they're doing - like, for example, teenagers - are damaged when they misuse it. This is not me trying to prove some evil religious agenda (I'm not religious). This is reality.

And when we live in a society where women have the power to choose, where women are biologically the decision-makers when it comes to whether sex is going to happen or not, then yes, her choice matters. Like it or not, we do not live in a matriarchal island society where girls chase boys and rack up conquests. We live in a society that has for centuries conditioned men to hunt and it's created a society where women have the power to choose and BECAUSE they have the power to choose, their perceived selectivity becomes important.

Hate on me all you want for calling it like it is. Despite your dearest hopes, I am not sexist.

Oh, glory be, PP is using CAPS LOCK. That's how we know that she's right!

PP? Respectfully? You don't have a goddamn clue what you're talking about. Take your high-handed, moral judgments, roll them into a nice, tight tube, and shove them up your undoubtedly pristine twat.