Mothers - How many sex partners would you want your daughter to have prior to marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And 17 would be a good age to start.

Right, and at least one of the 17 should be with another woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not all up my child's vagina. I don't think I would want to know exactly how many she will have. All I can do is teach and preach.

The exercise here is to put a real number on it - otherwise please depart thread!

I would tell my daughter (and son) that the notion of a woman's "number" implicitly measures her value by her sexuality, which is a nasty sexist thing to do. I would discuss the different perceptions of slut vs stud and the gender norms there. And I would tell my daughter AND my son (equally) that my hope for them is that they have sex in the context of successful, loving relationships. And that nobody should ever do anything sexual unless they really want to. I would explain to my son that girls/women should never be pressured in any way to have sex.

[Anonymous]

you all are avoiding the question

this is not a thread to discuss your perceptions of gender and slut vs stud

concrete number please

Phrased differently - if your daughter told you her number - what number would shock / disappoint you?

Don't avoid the question please -

GIVE #

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not all up my child's vagina. I don't think I would want to know exactly how many she will have. All I can do is teach and preach.

The exercise here is to put a real number on it - otherwise please depart thread!

I would tell my daughter (and son) that the notion of a woman's "number" implicitly measures her value by her sexuality, which is a nasty sexist thing to do. I would discuss the different perceptions of slut vs stud and the gender norms there. And I would tell my daughter AND my son (equally) that my hope for them is that they have sex in the context of successful, loving relationships. And that nobody should ever do anything sexual unless they really want to. I would explain to my son that girls/women should never be pressured in any way to have sex.

^^ This PP beat me to this point.

Brava!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As many or as few as my daughter (or my son, for that matter) wanted to have while staying safe and healthy, physically, mentally and emotionally. In our family, we don't slut-shame.

so 100 would be ok if she felt safe and healthy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you all are avoiding the question

this is not a thread to discuss your perceptions of gender and slut vs stud

concrete number please

Phrased differently - if your daughter told you her number - what number would shock / disappoint you?

Don't avoid the question please -

GIVE #

The problem with that is there is no concrete number. It's how she feels about her choices that matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you all are avoiding the question

this is not a thread to discuss your perceptions of gender and slut vs stud

concrete number please

Phrased differently - if your daughter told you her number - what number would shock / disappoint you?

Don't avoid the question please -

GIVE #

The problem with that is there is no concrete number. It's how she feels about her choices that matter.

ok then exit thread please thank you for (not) playing

[Anonymous]

I was 16 when my mom first asked me if I wanted to be on birth control. I had lost my virginity a few months earlier. It was like she just knew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And 17 would be a good age to start.

Right, and at least one of the 17 should be with another woman.

She should sleep with who she wants. As many or as few as she wants.

I'm a woman. My life would be a lot easier if I were into women, but I'm not. If I were bi, I would happily join the lesbian community and stay there. I just can't muster a desire to have sex with a woman. I tried it in college because I thought I was supposed to. It wasn't fair to my partner and it didn't work well for me. Failed straight girl experiments are a source of some bitterness in the lesbian community.

Telling a 17 year old to have sex with a woman to fulfill some kind of quota is wrong. It gives her the wrong idea about orientation.

[Anonymous]

Shocker! The sexist doesn't have an argument.

If someone chose a number, it still doesn't fucking matter. It's not up to you or other random, internet people to decide.

A girl with too many partners for the wrong reasons needs therapy, not shame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As many or as few as my daughter (or my son, for that matter) wanted to have while staying safe and healthy, physically, mentally and emotionally. In our family, we don't slut-shame.

so 100 would be ok if she felt safe and healthy?

Yes. It would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shocker! The sexist doesn't have an argument.

If someone chose a number, it still doesn't fucking matter. It's not up to you or other random, internet people to decide.

A girl with too many partners for the wrong reasons needs therapy, not shame.

I'm not deciding anything. I would like to know what mothers think for their daughters.

I think most on this thread thus far are being disingenuous when they say 100 would be ok as long as daughter was happy with the decision.

[Anonymous]

My husband told my boys that they should sleep with at least 8-12 people before settling on a life partner. I told them that it isn't a quota and if they find the right person on #4, they should stay with that person, rather than trying to fill a quota.

That said, I would say that a young person should have at least 3 sexual partners before they get married. They need to know what they're getting and what they're doing before they settle into monogamy or monogamish relationships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband told my boys that they should sleep with at least 8-12 people before settling on a life partner. I told them that it isn't a quota and if they find the right person on #4, they should stay with that person, rather than trying to fill a quota.

That said, I would say that a young person should have at least 3 sexual partners before they get married. They need to know what they're getting and what they're doing before they settle into monogamy or monogamish relationships.

interesting you're talking about minimums

most here are talking about maximums

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And 17 would be a good age to start.

Right, and at least one of the 17 should be with another woman.

She should sleep with who she wants. As many or as few as she wants.

I'm a woman. My life would be a lot easier if I were into women, but I'm not. If I were bi, I would happily join the lesbian community and stay there. I just can't muster a desire to have sex with a woman. I tried it in college because I thought I was supposed to. It wasn't fair to my partner and it didn't work well for me. Failed straight girl experiments are a source of some bitterness in the lesbian community.

Telling a 17 year old to have sex with a woman to fulfill some kind of quota is wrong. It gives her the wrong idea about orientation.

Jeez. Lighten the fuck up.