Is "making dinner" part of your SAHM job description?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, thank you for bringing together all of the SAH Lazies who can't even get a meal on the table and keep the house tidy, yet still act entitled to everything that's coming their way. I have no idea why their husbands keep subsidizing this nonsense, but it's been an entertaining read.

+1
I still believe OP is a troll though.

I actually have met some people who are like Op. They can not stand cooking and have no talent for it. It takes them forever to just make something as simple as a grilled cheese.

[Anonymous]

Haha thanks OP, this SAHM mom needed a chuckle today.

But seriously, it's my 'job' to make life at home easier. That is why I don't work. Because sick kids and cleaning and cooking and errands and all that other shit I do is hard when you work full time too. It's easier for or lives with me at home - if I don't do anything then no.

Cook a meal lady. It doesn't have to be a tasting menu but do something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, making dinner is not part of SAHM job description (unless is for the children of course). However, I think it is part of human decency job description. I go through phases where I hate to cook and when that happens, I keep frozen food from TJ at home and heat it up before my husband gets home. Or if I have left overs and don't want to have dinner myself, I pull them out of the fridge and leave at the counter for my husband to choose. I really can't open a box and threw it in the microwave and call it dinner?

I think you are pissed at your husband for something else and this dinner business is just an excuse.

Nail, head.

Yes - what has OPs DH done to her that she doesn't want to grant him that simple kindness? If I get home from a long day at work, I don't mind throwing together a little something for myself from what's in the fridge, but if there's nothing to be had and I have to go back out to the store, I'm going to feel a little hurt by the SAH spouse. There are many nights where I'd be satisfied with a bowl of cereal for dinner but I'll brown some ground beef, dump in a jar of pasta sauce, and microwave some veggies because I know DH doesn't want cheerios. Seems like OP is going out of her way to *not* do anything for her DH, and that sucks.

+1!Even a big salad with some protein like tuna or chicken or beef, for god's sake, plus a cup of coffee.

My DH is exhausted under pressure and still has to interact with the kids who've been waiting for him all day, so feeding him helps his mood before they pounce.

I make them wait until after dinner, which sometimes is "sandwich night" like Rob Lowe complained on "About Last Night," but at least everybody's fed.

[Anonymous]

Maybe Op is tired of hearing about her dh going out to lunch with his colleagues at nice restaurants while she's stuck at home, never going out, never going anywhere and eating a potato and getting grief for not making him one too....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm at the opposite end of the spectrum. We are heading into the empty nest with two in college and one high school student still at home. It seems very weird to be making a full dinner every night once it's just the two of us at home, and even now our teen is mostly out and about, getting home late from various activities, etc. Yet my DH still expects a meat, a starch and two veg every night. Just like my father did. When does the 'making dinner' gig end anyway? Do I have to do it until I"m 80 years old? Every night? It has gotten really old.
[/quote

My mom "quit" when she was about 65 and my dad started cooking.

[Anonymous]

We did the protein/starch/veggie thing before we had kids and I'm sure we'll continue to do that after the kids leave the nest.

Dh is actually a better cook than I am - he's more intuitively creative with the ingredients- so maybe there will be more time for him to experiment in the kitchen. But I fully expect to be the primary cook and I don't mind.

[Anonymous]

OP - I could have said what you wrote!

My husband gets home after the kids are in bed. I graze, I never sit down for to enjoy a meal at home reallY. I fed my kids the way you did for years. I wish I had started making a real meal because now they are school aged and though DH is still not home for dinner at least the kids and I could have a civilized dinner. (and he could have leftovers)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I could have said what you wrote!

My husband gets home after the kids are in bed. I graze, I never sit down for to enjoy a meal at home reallY. I fed my kids the way you did for years. I wish I had started making a real meal because now they are school aged and though DH is still not home for dinner at least the kids and I could have a civilized dinner. (and he could have leftovers)

I forgot to mention that DH and I have different taste in foods big time. He's more mea and potatoes, heavy pastas - I lean more veg and light.

If he asked me to make something I'd make it - it just that I need ideas because I am happy with a jar of olives, some crackers and an orange

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I SAH, and I cook most of the time. I truly hate it, but DH will not cook unless I simply refuse. I love to cook, but the dinner grind is exhausting and really depresses me. DH will slop some sauce on boiled pasta and call it dinner (I call it revolting), but sometimes when I refuse to cook, that's what we eat.

If I had a reasonable spouse, we would split the meal-planning, shopping and cooking equally. That would be fair, but life isn't fair, so I'm stuck with most of it.

To answer your question, OP. No, no, no, no, no, no-no-no.

So you are home all day and he is working and you expect him to meal plan and grocery shop? Oh come on.

SAHMs have time during the day. They just do. Kids either nap or are in preschool part of the time or both for the vast majority of families. Get it together.

Do you SAH? Are you married to my DH? Do you have my kids? Do you know anything about my life?

Your judgmental response is worthless. Are you jealous that you can't SAH if you wanted to?

Is the bolded wrong?

I could SAH several times over if I wanted to (personal net worth; not dependent on my husband). Would never in a million years.

Um-that's not something to be proud of. Why even bother having kids if you didn't want to spend time with them in the first place.

[Anonymous]

You sound really selfish.

[Anonymous]

You people sound like horrible cooks. Frozen vegetables, plain chicken breasts, yuck. If you're going to cook, at least learn to make good food! It's not that hard. Make a big vat of spaghetti sauce/beans/soup from scratch, then freeze it in smaller containers. Season the meat/chicken/fish and chop the vegetables the night before. The wok and the crockpot are your friends. Do a meal plan and grocery shop on Saturday or Sunday. Not really that hard to eat well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I SAH, and I cook most of the time. I truly hate it, but DH will not cook unless I simply refuse. I love to cook, but the dinner grind is exhausting and really depresses me. DH will slop some sauce on boiled pasta and call it dinner (I call it revolting), but sometimes when I refuse to cook, that's what we eat.

If I had a reasonable spouse, we would split the meal-planning, shopping and cooking equally. That would be fair, but life isn't fair, so I'm stuck with most of it.

To answer your question, OP. No, no, no, no, no, no-no-no.

So you are home all day and he is working and you expect him to meal plan and grocery shop? Oh come on.

SAHMs have time during the day. They just do. Kids either nap or are in preschool part of the time or both for the vast majority of families. Get it together.

Do you SAH? Are you married to my DH? Do you have my kids? Do you know anything about my life?

Your judgmental response is worthless. Are you jealous that you can't SAH if you wanted to?

Is the bolded wrong?

I could SAH several times over if I wanted to (personal net worth; not dependent on my husband). Would never in a million years.

Um-that's not something to be proud of. Why even bother having kids if you didn't want to spend time with them in the first place.

Lol yes, working at a family friendly, flexible job is equivalent to never wanting to spend time with kids.

Do you ask your husband this question?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people sound like horrible cooks. Frozen vegetables, plain chicken breasts, yuck. If you're going to cook, at least learn to make good food! It's not that hard. Make a big vat of spaghetti sauce/beans/soup from scratch, then freeze it in smaller containers. Season the meat/chicken/fish and chop the vegetables the night before. The wok and the crockpot are your friends. Do a meal plan and grocery shop on Saturday or Sunday. Not really that hard to eat well.

I personally would rather steam vegetables from a bag than eat reheated old food. YMMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But on the bright side, with this attitude she'll probably end up divorced within 10 years, and then she never has to worry about cooking for him again. And no unequal division of labor, because everything divided by one is still everything.

That's probably exactly what she is hoping for. So she can get half her DH's assets along with his child support and possibly alimony.

Probably not. Child support and alimony aren't going to provide her with a more luxurious lifestyle than she's living now, which is what she ultimately seems to be after.

Ah, but you forget about the new Sugar Daddy she'll soon have after the divorce. The old husband will be paying for all the basics and the new guy will shower her with the luxury.

[Anonymous]

No. You both "work" all day. I would expect you to keep the house decently clean during the day, and Feed the kid during the day.

My spouse is the SAHP. We take turns cooking and occasionally order out. The crockpot gets a lot of use. It's frustrating to come home and go to the store and cook, but it's also frustrating to cook with children underfoot.