Is "making dinner" part of your SAHM job description?

[Anonymous]

Soon your child will need a real dinner so it would be a good idea to start to cook.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Think more broadly about the example you're setting for your child here. You're showing him that marriage isn't about working together, trying to be good to each other, etc., it's about staking out what you want to be responsible for and then refusing to go outside of it for the benefit of your marriage or your household. That's not really a recipe for a healthy relationship.

I get what you are saying, but in fact I am not comfortable with a model for my son where he seems mom doing all of the cooking and cleaning from morning until night, and runs the household, and her job is 24/7 while dad is off the clock once he gets in the door. I do all the cleaning-I have a really nicely kept house. Our sink doesn't have dirty dishes in it, our counters aren't sticky, our floors are swept, we always have clean clothes, our bathroom towels are always fresh, our cars are tidy, DS's toys are nicely kept and rotated, our bills are paid and paperwork is in order, our taxes are filed, etc. Before we had a kid, DH would go out for a breakfast burrito on Saturday, while I spent an hour on cleaning. I'm not resentful, I love having a nice guest-ready house, and so does DH. We often have guests over. But aside from cooking, I pretty much do everything, and I actually think DS should see dad doing some household stuff as well. DH isn't a natural cleaner-upper, so I don't think he's going to all of a sudden pitch in more on that front.

I have not (and will not) read every post in this thread, but this post encapsulates how selfish OP is. She does the things that are important to her, that's it. OP, if you feel like your husband isn't pulling his weight, pass off some tasks to him - finances, tax prep, rotating your kid's toys (WTF is that, anyway?), cleaning bathrooms on the weekends. But you have chosen to refuse to do the one thing that has direct, day-to-day impact on your husband because you don't like to do it, and you're using the fig leaf of "unequal division of labor" to justify it. That's transparent, selfish crap.

Seriously. Op, if you refuse to cook, hire a nanny and maid and get a paid full time job to pay for said nanny, maid, and daily carryout because you refuse to cook. Then you can afford your lifestyle of presumably expecting to eat out everyday (or you not eat anything).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Think more broadly about the example you're setting for your child here. You're showing him that marriage isn't about working together, trying to be good to each other, etc., it's about staking out what you want to be responsible for and then refusing to go outside of it for the benefit of your marriage or your household. That's not really a recipe for a healthy relationship.

I get what you are saying, but in fact I am not comfortable with a model for my son where he seems mom doing all of the cooking and cleaning from morning until night, and runs the household, and her job is 24/7 while dad is off the clock once he gets in the door. I do all the cleaning-I have a really nicely kept house. Our sink doesn't have dirty dishes in it, our counters aren't sticky, our floors are swept, we always have clean clothes, our bathroom towels are always fresh, our cars are tidy, DS's toys are nicely kept and rotated, our bills are paid and paperwork is in order, our taxes are filed, etc. Before we had a kid, DH would go out for a breakfast burrito on Saturday, while I spent an hour on cleaning. I'm not resentful, I love having a nice guest-ready house, and so does DH. We often have guests over. But aside from cooking, I pretty much do everything, and I actually think DS should see dad doing some household stuff as well. DH isn't a natural cleaner-upper, so I don't think he's going to all of a sudden pitch in more on that front.

I have not (and will not) read every post in this thread, but this post encapsulates how selfish OP is. She does the things that are important to her, that's it. OP, if you feel like your husband isn't pulling his weight, pass off some tasks to him - finances, tax prep, rotating your kid's toys (WTF is that, anyway?), cleaning bathrooms on the weekends. But you have chosen to refuse to do the one thing that has direct, day-to-day impact on your husband because you don't like to do it, and you're using the fig leaf of "unequal division of labor" to justify it. That's transparent, selfish crap.

But on the bright side, with this attitude she'll probably end up divorced within 10 years, and then she never has to worry about cooking for him again. And no unequal division of labor, because everything divided by one is still everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But on the bright side, with this attitude she'll probably end up divorced within 10 years, and then she never has to worry about cooking for him again. And no unequal division of labor, because everything divided by one is still everything.

That's probably exactly what she is hoping for. So she can get half her DH's assets along with his child support and possibly alimony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But on the bright side, with this attitude she'll probably end up divorced within 10 years, and then she never has to worry about cooking for him again. And no unequal division of labor, because everything divided by one is still everything.

That's probably exactly what she is hoping for. So she can get half her DH's assets along with his child support and possibly alimony.

Probably not. Child support and alimony aren't going to provide her with a more luxurious lifestyle than she's living now, which is what she ultimately seems to be after.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think DH is disappointed that I don't cook dinner as part of the SAH gig. I hate meal planning and cooking. DS is 12 mos. He eats simple, decinstructed meals. I eat whatever is around. Cheese and crackers for lunch if I want. I have no expectation that DH produce dinner for me. I didn't have that expectation when we were both working, either. I don't have a bunch of school-aged kids where we all need to sit around as a family. I really hate this expectation that I'm supposed to prepare food for a grown man now that my job is raising our child. I was thinking of cooking tonight-we have this bag of potatos on the counter. If it were just me, I'd have a baked potato and a Diet Coke. But since I'm cooking for a "family" I have to produce something more ambitious - a baked potato "bar" or whatever. No thanks. I'm want to cook what I want to eat and not cater to what DH likes. Today he came home and asked what I made-I told him "nothing", and he went to the grocery store after working all day, and I don't really care.

Your job is running the household. I'm not sure where you got this idea that staying home meant you're essentially a nanny. The job description is a lot more comprehensive than just child care.

+1 think of yourself as a housewife and not a stay at home mom

And many nannies hAve basic food prep functions as part of their job requirements. I suspect a lot of folks on here wouldn't pay a nanny full time wages "only" to watch their kids.

Most nannies don't have 24/7 round the clock duty, 365 days a year. SAHMs are not nannies, maids. And I did not quit my full time job to become a nanny or a housewife. I am a SAHM because this is the way that dh and I have opted to handle our shared responsibilities. I am not his servant. The kids and I are not his staff. We are his family and we love him a lot. IF I really hated to cook I am sure that dh and I would work that out just like we have divided all of our responsibilities.

Project much? And you write like you're in junior high.

People in glass houses...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Think more broadly about the example you're setting for your child here. You're showing him that marriage isn't about working together, trying to be good to each other, etc., it's about staking out what you want to be responsible for and then refusing to go outside of it for the benefit of your marriage or your household. That's not really a recipe for a healthy relationship.

I get what you are saying, but in fact I am not comfortable with a model for my son where he seems mom doing all of the cooking and cleaning from morning until night, and runs the household, and her job is 24/7 while dad is off the clock once he gets in the door. I do all the cleaning-I have a really nicely kept house. Our sink doesn't have dirty dishes in it, our counters aren't sticky, our floors are swept, we always have clean clothes, our bathroom towels are always fresh, our cars are tidy, DS's toys are nicely kept and rotated, our bills are paid and paperwork is in order, our taxes are filed, etc. Before we had a kid, DH would go out for a breakfast burrito on Saturday, while I spent an hour on cleaning. I'm not resentful, I love having a nice guest-ready house, and so does DH. We often have guests over. But aside from cooking, I pretty much do everything, and I actually think DS should see dad doing some household stuff as well. DH isn't a natural cleaner-upper, so I don't think he's going to all of a sudden pitch in more on that front.

I have not (and will not) read every post in this thread, but this post encapsulates how selfish OP is. She does the things that are important to her, that's it. OP, if you feel like your husband isn't pulling his weight, pass off some tasks to him - finances, tax prep, rotating your kid's toys (WTF is that, anyway?), cleaning bathrooms on the weekends. But you have chosen to refuse to do the one thing that has direct, day-to-day impact on your husband because you don't like to do it, and you're using the fig leaf of "unequal division of labor" to justify it. That's transparent, selfish crap.

Seriously. Op, if you refuse to cook, hire a nanny and maid and get a paid full time job to pay for said nanny, maid, and daily carryout because you refuse to cook. Then you can afford your lifestyle of presumably expecting to eat out everyday (or you not eat anything).

Oh, your maid cooks for you? How darling. Mine won't even do windows. Your nanny cooks for you and your husband, too?

[Anonymous]

OP, thank you for bringing together all of the SAH Lazies who can't even get a meal on the table and keep the house tidy, yet still act entitled to everything that's coming their way. I have no idea why their husbands keep subsidizing this nonsense, but it's been an entertaining read.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you hire a cook, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, thank you for bringing together all of the SAH Lazies who can't even get a meal on the table and keep the house tidy, yet still act entitled to everything that's coming their way. I have no idea why their husbands keep subsidizing this nonsense, but it's been an entertaining read.

Most SAHPs do, in fact, do the majority of the cooking in their family. However, Op has clearly stated that she hates meal planning and cooking. It's dinner. Her husband gets home at a decent time. If he does dinner maybe Op can rake leaves or shovel snow. They can work out a solution. It may not be a solution that YOU like. It doesn't have to be. It isn't your dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, thank you for bringing together all of the SAH Lazies who can't even get a meal on the table and keep the house tidy, yet still act entitled to everything that's coming their way. I have no idea why their husbands keep subsidizing this nonsense, but it's been an entertaining read.

+1
I still believe OP is a troll though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Think more broadly about the example you're setting for your child here. You're showing him that marriage isn't about working together, trying to be good to each other, etc., it's about staking out what you want to be responsible for and then refusing to go outside of it for the benefit of your marriage or your household. That's not really a recipe for a healthy relationship.

I get what you are saying, but in fact I am not comfortable with a model for my son where he seems mom doing all of the cooking and cleaning from morning until night, and runs the household, and her job is 24/7 while dad is off the clock once he gets in the door. I do all the cleaning-I have a really nicely kept house. Our sink doesn't have dirty dishes in it, our counters aren't sticky, our floors are swept, we always have clean clothes, our bathroom towels are always fresh, our cars are tidy, DS's toys are nicely kept and rotated, our bills are paid and paperwork is in order, our taxes are filed, etc. Before we had a kid, DH would go out for a breakfast burrito on Saturday, while I spent an hour on cleaning. I'm not resentful, I love having a nice guest-ready house, and so does DH. We often have guests over. But aside from cooking, I pretty much do everything, and I actually think DS should see dad doing some household stuff as well. DH isn't a natural cleaner-upper, so I don't think he's going to all of a sudden pitch in more on that front.

I have not (and will not) read every post in this thread, but this post encapsulates how selfish OP is. She does the things that are important to her, that's it. OP, if you feel like your husband isn't pulling his weight, pass off some tasks to him - finances, tax prep, rotating your kid's toys (WTF is that, anyway?), cleaning bathrooms on the weekends. But you have chosen to refuse to do the one thing that has direct, day-to-day impact on your husband because you don't like to do it, and you're using the fig leaf of "unequal division of labor" to justify it. That's transparent, selfish crap.

Seriously. Op, if you refuse to cook, hire a nanny and maid and get a paid full time job to pay for said nanny, maid, and daily carryout because you refuse to cook. Then you can afford your lifestyle of presumably expecting to eat out everyday (or you not eat anything).

Oh, your maid cooks for you? How darling. Mine won't even do windows. Your nanny cooks for you and your husband, too?

Oh sweetie, I hope you are OP. Let me tell you something. Most nannies are willing to cook more than cutting a piece of cheese or handing someone a raw potato.

[Anonymous]

Is OP the same mistake m who found a condom and lube in the glove box?

[Anonymous]

Same mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Think more broadly about the example you're setting for your child here. You're showing him that marriage isn't about working together, trying to be good to each other, etc., it's about staking out what you want to be responsible for and then refusing to go outside of it for the benefit of your marriage or your household. That's not really a recipe for a healthy relationship.

I get what you are saying, but in fact I am not comfortable with a model for my son where he seems mom doing all of the cooking and cleaning from morning until night, and runs the household, and her job is 24/7 while dad is off the clock once he gets in the door. I do all the cleaning-I have a really nicely kept house. Our sink doesn't have dirty dishes in it, our counters aren't sticky, our floors are swept, we always have clean clothes, our bathroom towels are always fresh, our cars are tidy, DS's toys are nicely kept and rotated, our bills are paid and paperwork is in order, our taxes are filed, etc. Before we had a kid, DH would go out for a breakfast burrito on Saturday, while I spent an hour on cleaning. I'm not resentful, I love having a nice guest-ready house, and so does DH. We often have guests over. But aside from cooking, I pretty much do everything, and I actually think DS should see dad doing some household stuff as well. DH isn't a natural cleaner-upper, so I don't think he's going to all of a sudden pitch in more on that front.

I have not (and will not) read every post in this thread, but this post encapsulates how selfish OP is. She does the things that are important to her, that's it. OP, if you feel like your husband isn't pulling his weight, pass off some tasks to him - finances, tax prep, rotating your kid's toys (WTF is that, anyway?), cleaning bathrooms on the weekends. But you have chosen to refuse to do the one thing that has direct, day-to-day impact on your husband because you don't like to do it, and you're using the fig leaf of "unequal division of labor" to justify it. That's transparent, selfish crap.

Seriously. Op, if you refuse to cook, hire a nanny and maid and get a paid full time job to pay for said nanny, maid, and daily carryout because you refuse to cook. Then you can afford your lifestyle of presumably expecting to eat out everyday (or you not eat anything).

Oh, your maid cooks for you? How darling. Mine won't even do windows. Your nanny cooks for you and your husband, too?

Oh sweetie, I hope you are OP. Let me tell you something. Most nannies are willing to cook more than cutting a piece of cheese or handing someone a raw potato.

No sugar plum, I'm not Op. From what I understand, most nannies will cook for their charge but prefer not to cook for the grown ups, although some might be persuaded to do so for an additional charge.