Is "making dinner" part of your SAHM job description?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't have a SAHP, but if I did, he or she would do absolutely everything domestic between 7 am and 7 pm.

You probably wouldn't have a spouse, period, would you dear?

Huh? Been married to a man who works full time for 19 years (?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing is, SAHP duties and work duties are not exactly equivalent. For instance, the working spouse doesn't have two hours of downtime each day while the child naps. SAH work can be tedious and hard (babies/little kids are tiring!), but is not as constantly demanding as working outside the home, commuting etc. It is reasonable for your husband to expect you to handle simple dinners during the week. At least most of the time--maybe he brings home dinner once a week and on request whenever you're having a particularly rough day. But, in turn, he should be fully co-parenting when he gets home from work. Just my opinion about a reasonable balance of responsibilities. In the end, you do need to figure out the best way to be a team. Sit down and talk about it. If you find yourselves at opposite extremes, figure out a compromise. If you're feeling resentful about the whole arrangement, revisit it!

I worked in an office. Long hours often no lunch break. I came home cooked dinner, did laundry and I cleaned the house on the weekends. Then I quit work to SAH with my first born. Staying home with an infant kicked my butt. He had colic and was up every 2 hours. I can not even begin to describe the level of pure exhaustion..

When I worked I had my quiet times where I knew that I could count on having time to think and focus on the work in front of me. Staying at home with a baby means that you are on their schedule . On paper it looks like you get an awful lot of down time. In reality you are exhausted from being "on" all the time. Couldn't call in sick, couldn't take a day off. When my 2nd came along I was lucky to get a shower in. Thankfully my husband "got it" and was willing to help out with the cooking as needed.

Imagine working full time with a toddler and an infant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing is, SAHP duties and work duties are not exactly equivalent. For instance, the working spouse doesn't have two hours of downtime each day while the child naps. SAH work can be tedious and hard (babies/little kids are tiring!), but is not as constantly demanding as working outside the home, commuting etc. It is reasonable for your husband to expect you to handle simple dinners during the week. At least most of the time--maybe he brings home dinner once a week and on request whenever you're having a particularly rough day. But, in turn, he should be fully co-parenting when he gets home from work. Just my opinion about a reasonable balance of responsibilities. In the end, you do need to figure out the best way to be a team. Sit down and talk about it. If you find yourselves at opposite extremes, figure out a compromise. If you're feeling resentful about the whole arrangement, revisit it!

I worked in an office. Long hours often no lunch break. I came home cooked dinner, did laundry and I cleaned the house on the weekends. Then I quit work to SAH with my first born. Staying home with an infant kicked my butt. He had colic and was up every 2 hours. I can not even begin to describe the level of pure exhaustion..

When I worked I had my quiet times where I knew that I could count on having time to think and focus on the work in front of me. Staying at home with a baby means that you are on their schedule . On paper it looks like you get an awful lot of down time. In reality you are exhausted from being "on" all the time. Couldn't call in sick, couldn't take a day off. When my 2nd came along I was lucky to get a shower in. Thankfully my husband "got it" and was willing to help out with the cooking as needed.

Imagine working full time with a toddler and an infant.

Yeah, I work full time, have two little kids, and still make dinner most nights (my husband cannot cook to save his life). This is pretty whiny imo.

[Anonymous]

I've found that the term 'cooking dinner' is all relative. I'm surprised that a lot of people think boiling up pasta with canned sauce or making boxed mac and cheese is 'cooking dinner.' I only make dinner from scratch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing is, SAHP duties and work duties are not exactly equivalent. For instance, the working spouse doesn't have two hours of downtime each day while the child naps. SAH work can be tedious and hard (babies/little kids are tiring!), but is not as constantly demanding as working outside the home, commuting etc. It is reasonable for your husband to expect you to handle simple dinners during the week. At least most of the time--maybe he brings home dinner once a week and on request whenever you're having a particularly rough day. But, in turn, he should be fully co-parenting when he gets home from work. Just my opinion about a reasonable balance of responsibilities. In the end, you do need to figure out the best way to be a team. Sit down and talk about it. If you find yourselves at opposite extremes, figure out a compromise. If you're feeling resentful about the whole arrangement, revisit it!

I worked in an office. Long hours often no lunch break. I came home cooked dinner, did laundry and I cleaned the house on the weekends. Then I quit work to SAH with my first born. Staying home with an infant kicked my butt. He had colic and was up every 2 hours. I can not even begin to describe the level of pure exhaustion..

When I worked I had my quiet times where I knew that I could count on having time to think and focus on the work in front of me. Staying at home with a baby means that you are on their schedule . On paper it looks like you get an awful lot of down time. In reality you are exhausted from being "on" all the time. Couldn't call in sick, couldn't take a day off. When my 2nd came along I was lucky to get a shower in. Thankfully my husband "got it" and was willing to help out with the cooking as needed.

Imagine working full time with a toddler and an infant.

So you go to your office all day and someone else watches your infant and toddler. Yes, I can imagine that.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Whoever stays at home makes dinner for whoever is out working. If you're both working, you take turns, get take out, cook on a Sunday and freeze for the week, hire a private chef - whatever is in your budget and your schedule allows.
I've been both a SAHM and a working mom; my husband has stayed at home for a period of time. Whoever was home had dinner ready so that we could sit down and enjoy it. I would be very resentful if after working all day and going out to get groceries, I was expected to make dinner for my family, too.
That being said, a crockpot is a great way to have a healthy dinner ready with minimal steps or cleanup (tonight I made Thai chicken curry while my daughter was napping). It saves a lot of time a cleanup. Add a salad or roasted veggies and that's a relatively easy meal.
Also, if your LO is fussy, try babywearing while you're prepping and cooking. If you have an Ergo, you can back carry your LO while cooking and prepping. They may even fall asleep while you're cooking (what my LO usually did) so I could happily prep and enjoy my wine.
And wine! I love cooking because I blast music and pour a glass of wine. It's my downtime. Is there some way for you to try to make cooking a more enjoyable, positive experience? Can you take a cooking class with friends and incorporate some of what you've learned?
Good luck! Balancing family life is not easy!

[Anonymous]

PP here - also, Amazon's Prime Pantry can be your best friend, as well as Giant's Peapod. When we lived in DC and our LO was a newborn, everything came to our front door because we were both working. Saving that time was worth the delivery fee.
Build a regular list of things you love to keep in stock, and keep the freezer stocked with essentials. Sometimes dinner can be as easy as a goat cheese, herb, spinach omelette with roasted asparagus and a salad with a glass of Pinot Grigio - easy, delicious, healthy. I wonder if you can find someone to come in and give you a quick cooking demo/food planning and prep course?

[Anonymous]

I was never the cooking type so no, I was not expected to make dinner. Or any other meal. As for housework, no to that too. I'm not anyone's maid.

My job was simply to sex my husband and raise his kids which I did. Period.

Now I do whatever I please when I please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was never the cooking type so no, I was not expected to make dinner. Or any other meal. As for housework, no to that too. I'm not anyone's maid.

My job was simply to sex my husband and raise his kids which I did. Period.

Now I do whatever I please when I please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A block of cheese, a loaf of bread, some vegetables, yogurt, dried beans and tofu....hmmm. Just try to feed teenage boys off of that list - hahaha.

Exactly. I have two teenage boys, and I buy 10 pounds of protein a week, four gallons of milk, a couple pounds of nuts, avocados, pounds and pounds of fresh fruit...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've found that the term 'cooking dinner' is all relative. I'm surprised that a lot of people think boiling up pasta with canned sauce or making boxed mac and cheese is 'cooking dinner.' I only make dinner from scratch.

Do you have a job making $300,000 also? I can skate with shortcuts for dinner because my priorities that are higher than scratch cooking are: do great at my paid job, love and raise my kids, have a happy marriage, exercise 5 times a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing is, SAHP duties and work duties are not exactly equivalent. For instance, the working spouse doesn't have two hours of downtime each day while the child naps. SAH work can be tedious and hard (babies/little kids are tiring!), but is not as constantly demanding as working outside the home, commuting etc. It is reasonable for your husband to expect you to handle simple dinners during the week. At least most of the time--maybe he brings home dinner once a week and on request whenever you're having a particularly rough day. But, in turn, he should be fully co-parenting when he gets home from work. Just my opinion about a reasonable balance of responsibilities. In the end, you do need to figure out the best way to be a team. Sit down and talk about it. If you find yourselves at opposite extremes, figure out a compromise. If you're feeling resentful about the whole arrangement, revisit it!

I worked in an office. Long hours often no lunch break. I came home cooked dinner, did laundry and I cleaned the house on the weekends. Then I quit work to SAH with my first born. Staying home with an infant kicked my butt. He had colic and was up every 2 hours. I can not even begin to describe the level of pure exhaustion..

When I worked I had my quiet times where I knew that I could count on having time to think and focus on the work in front of me. Staying at home with a baby means that you are on their schedule . On paper it looks like you get an awful lot of down time. In reality you are exhausted from being "on" all the time. Couldn't call in sick, couldn't take a day off. When my 2nd came along I was lucky to get a shower in. Thankfully my husband "got it" and was willing to help out with the cooking as needed.

Imagine working full time with a toddler and an infant.

So you go to your office all day and someone else watches your infant and toddler. Yes, I can imagine that.

You can? You can imagine working in an office 50 hours a week, then coming home to cook and care for the children each evening? You done that for 15 years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was never the cooking type so no, I was not expected to make dinner. Or any other meal. As for housework, no to that too. I'm not anyone's maid.

My job was simply to sex my husband and raise his kids which I did. Period.

Now I do whatever I please when I please.

You're done with sexing your husband?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've found that the term 'cooking dinner' is all relative. I'm surprised that a lot of people think boiling up pasta with canned sauce or making boxed mac and cheese is 'cooking dinner.' I only make dinner from scratch.

Do you make all your pasta from scratch?

[Anonymous]

This may sound shocking to some, but your experience is very much child and husband dependent. I'm a WOHM now and I ALWAYS cook every meal, with *much* more ease than I did when I was at home with two toddlers.

I'm not surprised its hard for some SAHMs to actually get dinner on the table. Some kids are just really really high maintenance and bad sleepers, and if you have kids like this, even the most basic aspects of life can be challenging, because you are constantly running on zero. Mine were both like that. I didn't have a nap time to rely upon consistently (or more often than not, they never napped at the same time).

The only thing that worked for me at that age was once a week (usually sunday night), after the kid were asleep (and I'm talking 9 pm at night), I'd stay up 4-5 hours and cook 6 different things, along with make up stuff like pancake batter. Then I'd freeze it and take it out, one-by-one. Day 7 would be takeout/pizza. Lunches would be leftovers. Breakfast would be microwave oatmeal, cereal, or pancakes.

Once my kids turned 3, and I returned back to work, they became much better sleepers, and could self-entertain/play with each for long periods of time. It became pretty easy for me to make a 30 min dinner right after I got home from work (5:30) if everything was already prepped (which I do over a few hours on Sundays).