husband wants to keep baby and I don't

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope this is a troll post for OPs sake. Looks like a lot of infertility patients and pro life PPs on this thread. I thought this was a liberal website? Liberal except for a woman’s right to choose?

No-one says she doesn’t have a right to choose. She does, but there are many factors to consider.

Re-read the entire thread. There are a number of posters saying that OP’s husband and daughter have the right to decide as well.

Morally, they do. Legally, no they don’t have the right to keep her from doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm saying it again Pro Choice is a choice. You don't want an abortion don't have one. You don't get to judge someone who does. Again get educated! It's called SCIENCE

I get to judge anyone I choose. Killing your baby is evil.

Same here. You're evil. I judge you for valuing the life of a fetus over the life of a woman. Every pregnancy puts the life of a full grown woman at risk. Pregnancies go wrong at the last minute, all the time. Pregnancy and labor are one of the top ten killers of women in the United States and worldwide. You are demanding that women risk their lives for a fetus. Even if that fetus is considered the equivalent of a full person, you don't get to demand that. We don't demand that people risk their lives for other people in any other situation. Even our military is volunteer only. You don't get to draft women into being mothers. Having a uterus doesn't make women slaves.

NP here. Fine you both are free to judge each other for each other’s attitudes. See how that works? But it’s rather obvious based on the responses here that the majority of people would be disapproving of a woman choosing to terminate her baby under the circumstances OP has described.

Huh? How is it obvious? It's the same couple of anti-abortion posters saying the same thing over and over again. The majority of the country supports abortion rights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Skipped to the end here: OP originally said no kids. Then had one who is now 11, and has an accidental pregnancy. I can fully understand not wanting to start all over again with an infant that was unplanned. I think that OP would probably get over the regret of an abortion faster than the many many years ahead of raiding another child. It’s her body and we all know that the woman does both the pregnancy and the work of child rearing. Yes Dads help but the burden is on the woman. It’s ok OP to make a hard decision.

I am a therapist, and you will be surprised how many woman cannot get over past abortion, even 20+ years later. And this is not religious woman (for those I think is much easier to find a forgiveness and piece). A lot of women don't understand what mental damage it may cause in a long term.

I am also a therapist and many women deeply and permanently regret having more children than they wanted.

I was the unwanted child. Growing up I used to think about how my parents would have been better people if they had just had strength to get an abortion. My childhood was horrible. I knew and understood that I wasn’t wanted. I was neglected. It took a long time to move past my upbringing. As an adult I think abortion is the compassionate choice - for the child.

I have children of my own, and if one of them came to me with an unplanned pregnancy, I would fully support them in terminating.

[Anonymous]

The number of checklist couples is astonishing to me. I have cut two close friends off because of this BS.

Life isn’t about checking boxes.

But OP it is your body, do what you want.

[Anonymous]

it's your decision to murder your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope this is a troll post for OPs sake. Looks like a lot of infertility patients and pro life PPs on this thread. I thought this was a liberal website? Liberal except for a woman’s right to choose?

No-one says she doesn’t have a right to choose. She does, but there are many factors to consider.

Re-read the entire thread. There are a number of posters saying that OP’s husband and daughter have the right to decide as well.

OP's husband definitely has a say in this. If OP didn't want to get pregnant, she should have thought of that long ago.

Nope. The only choice the husband has is to stay or leave. He has zero choice with regards to the termination. Only OP has a choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m my view husband lost his rights when he declared have this baby or divorce. Anyone who would say that after waffling back and forth is equally likely to walk when things get tough anyway. He just wants to be baby daddy. Divorce may be in the cards anyway. Her body, her choice.

Perfectly summed up. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Skipped to the end here: OP originally said no kids. Then had one who is now 11, and has an accidental pregnancy. I can fully understand not wanting to start all over again with an infant that was unplanned. I think that OP would probably get over the regret of an abortion faster than the many many years ahead of raiding another child. It’s her body and we all know that the woman does both the pregnancy and the work of child rearing. Yes Dads help but the burden is on the woman. It’s ok OP to make a hard decision.

I am a therapist, and you will be surprised how many woman cannot get over past abortion, even 20+ years later. And this is not religious woman (for those I think is much easier to find a forgiveness and piece). A lot of women don't understand what mental damage it may cause in a long term.

I am also a therapist and many women deeply and permanently regret having more children than they wanted.

I was the unwanted child. Growing up I used to think about how my parents would have been better people if they had just had strength to get an abortion. My childhood was horrible. I knew and understood that I wasn’t wanted. I was neglected. It took a long time to move past my upbringing. As an adult I think abortion is the compassionate choice - for the child.

I have children of my own, and if one of them came to me with an unplanned pregnancy, I would fully support them in terminating.

Another unwanted child here - [phone]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP should have had an abortion and not told her husband.

In the old days, women would go to see their mother and mom would tell them where to find an illegal abortion, and then would stay with Mom until recovered. Either that or have the unwanted child and be bitter the rest of your life..

In “the old days” plenty of women viewed abortion as akin to murder.

In "the old days" of Western Culture a variety of treatments were used to bring on menstruation. Abortion wasn't viewed as abortion or murder or killing a fetus until after movement (quickening) was felt, which is around the 4th or 5th month of pregnancy. Nobody really felt too concerned about aborting a first trimester pregnancy. In the Middle Ages, the Christian Church treated pre-quickening abortion as a misdemeanor. That attitude prevailed well into the 19th century in Europe and the United States.

Early Christians did not view abortion as murder. An injury to a pregnant woman that caused miscarriage was a non-critical injury, unless the pregnant woman died. The fetus was NOT viewed as a person.

Ancient Greeks viewed fetuses as akin to plants and killing a fetus was permissible. Only after the fetus was born and drew a breath was it considered a person.

Didn’t the romans allow mothers to kill their children up to age 4 if the child was unsatisfactory? I don’t think they considered children that young as human.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s interesting how many PPs think that OP needs a justifiable reason to end her pregnancy. In reality it’s very hard to get an abortion in the US right now. Many states have so many barriers to abortion.
Incidentally the vast majority of abortions are performed on married women who already have children and do not want more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m my view husband lost his rights when he declared have this baby or divorce. Anyone who would say that after waffling back and forth is equally likely to walk when things get tough anyway. He just wants to be baby daddy. Divorce may be in the cards anyway. Her body, her choice.

Perfectly summed up. Thank you.

People waffle about things all time. It’s human nature. I’d have a very low opinion of any man who was ok with a woman aborting his child, especially if the reasons were as weak as OP’s. The husband is behaving in a normal manner. He’s been around for the first child, so I don’t understand your claim that he’ll walk if things get tough. Not all men are assholes no matter how many times you keep saying it. Several of these posts seem to be more about hating the husband because he’s male. If OP had been married to a woman, I wonder if so many would be as supportive of her decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm saying it again Pro Choice is a choice. You don't want an abortion don't have one. You don't get to judge someone who does. Again get educated! It's called SCIENCE

I get to judge anyone I choose. Killing your baby is evil.

Same here. You're evil. I judge you for valuing the life of a fetus over the life of a woman. Every pregnancy puts the life of a full grown woman at risk. Pregnancies go wrong at the last minute, all the time. Pregnancy and labor are one of the top ten killers of women in the United States and worldwide. You are demanding that women risk their lives for a fetus. Even if that fetus is considered the equivalent of a full person, you don't get to demand that. We don't demand that people risk their lives for other people in any other situation. Even our military is volunteer only. You don't get to draft women into being mothers. Having a uterus doesn't make women slaves.

NP here. Fine you both are free to judge each other for each other’s attitudes. See how that works? But it’s rather obvious based on the responses here that the majority of people would be disapproving of a woman choosing to terminate her baby under the circumstances OP has described.

Huh? How is it obvious? It's the same couple of anti-abortion posters saying the same thing over and over again.[b] The majority of the country supports abortion rights.

I’m one of the disapproving posters and i am pro choice. Most of the other disapproving posters have stated they are pro choice as well. Being pro choice doesn’t mean you are morally accepting of any and all abortions. You can legally support a women’s right to do something but still think it’s morally wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Skipped to the end here: OP originally said no kids. Then had one who is now 11, and has an accidental pregnancy. I can fully understand not wanting to start all over again with an infant that was unplanned. I think that OP would probably get over the regret of an abortion faster than the many many years ahead of raiding another child. It’s her body and we all know that the woman does both the pregnancy and the work of child rearing. Yes Dads help but the burden is on the woman. It’s ok OP to make a hard decision.

I am a therapist, and you will be surprised how many woman cannot get over past abortion, even 20+ years later. And this is not religious woman (for those I think is much easier to find a forgiveness and piece). A lot of women don't understand what mental damage it may cause in a long term.

I am also a therapist and many women deeply and permanently regret having more children than they wanted.

I was the unwanted child. Growing up I used to think about how my parents would have been better people if they had just had strength to get an abortion. My childhood was horrible. I knew and understood that I wasn’t wanted. I was neglected. It took a long time to move past my upbringing. As an adult I think abortion is the compassionate choice - for the child.

I have children of my own, and if one of them came to me with an unplanned pregnancy, I would fully support them in terminating.

You are leaving out another option, adoption.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m my view husband lost his rights when he declared have this baby or divorce. Anyone who would say that after waffling back and forth is equally likely to walk when things get tough anyway. He just wants to be baby daddy. Divorce may be in the cards anyway. Her body, her choice.

Perfectly summed up. Thank you.

Perfectly summed up bullshit. Personally I would not remain together with a wife who killed our kid. That seems to be OP's husband's position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have an 11 year old dd and I just found out I am pregnant. I don't want this child and my husband wants it. I have been so careful with my birth control regiment. Our dd is set for life and if we have another one it means that she will get half of what she has now and her inheritance will be divided by two. I just can't. We have discussed it for three days now and he won't budge. If I terminate he threatened divorce. I cannot bring a child into this world that I know I won't love. When we got married we both didn't want any children, then he changed his mind and I gave in. I only agreed because he promised we would be one and done.

This statement is frightening. You couldn't love your own child because it'd take away from your older daughter's inheritance?
Wow...that's downright demented. If I knew your name I'd refer you to child protective services cause YOU HAVE ISSUES and your dd is no doubt in jeopardy.