When sorority rush goes wrong

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Wondering how recruitment has wrapped up for those going through it at UVA. My daughter was really surprised at the houses that asked her back for preference round, as at one of them specifically she hasn’t felt like there’s been really great conversations/connections made. I am not really sure how the process works there, but does that mean that that chapter rated her higher on their list than another chapter that she had maybe ranked higher and didn’t get asked back to did? The ones she got back for the last round are both great chapters, but she really cannot see herself at one of them based on the girls she has met through the earlier rounds. I told her that the chapters are huge and she’s only met a handful of the girls in it, and if she ends up getting a bid to that one then she’d be going in with so many other new girls/it’s a great chance to meet more people. I have been pretty uninvolved in the whole thing, so hoping I gave her good advice.

FWIW she really is going through rush to find her tribe. She joined clubs, club sports etc already 1st semester, but hasn’t really found her people yet and was hopeful a sorority would help do that. Anyone with UVA specific experience to shed light on how the computer matches girls in the final round?

Which sororities does she have left?

All seemed very random when my DD rushed last year, although I know it isn't. She definitely felt deeper connections at some houses that dropped her, and got asked back to houses where she didn't feel she had connections. There are so many girls rushing and so much that can sway a vote depending on who you talk to during the rounds. She is very happy where she landed and has made some great friends. And because of how large many of the UVA sororities are (including hers) she is still meeting people. Good advice to tell your daughter to give it a chance.

Thanks for this insight; it’s really helpful to hear that the process at UVA can work out for those going in with an open mind. I am hopeful for her that she’ll use the preference round to really look at ones maybe she hadn’t been considering as much in the previous rounds and end up finding her people wherever she gets a bid (hoping she gets one).

If she ranks all her options she’ll get one or the other.

Thanks for the response- this is helpful to know that’s how the process works at Virginia.

Isn't that the case everywhere? 2 pref parties (max) and guaranteed bid IF she ranks both. If she doesn't rank both, she isn't guaranteed a bid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wondering how recruitment has wrapped up for those going through it at UVA. My daughter was really surprised at the houses that asked her back for preference round, as at one of them specifically she hasn’t felt like there’s been really great conversations/connections made. I am not really sure how the process works there, but does that mean that that chapter rated her higher on their list than another chapter that she had maybe ranked higher and didn’t get asked back to did? The ones she got back for the last round are both great chapters, but she really cannot see herself at one of them based on the girls she has met through the earlier rounds. I told her that the chapters are huge and she’s only met a handful of the girls in it, and if she ends up getting a bid to that one then she’d be going in with so many other new girls/it’s a great chance to meet more people. I have been pretty uninvolved in the whole thing, so hoping I gave her good advice.

FWIW she really is going through rush to find her tribe. She joined clubs, club sports etc already 1st semester, but hasn’t really found her people yet and was hopeful a sorority would help do that. Anyone with UVA specific experience to shed light on how the computer matches girls in the final round?

Which sororities does she have left?

All seemed very random when my DD rushed last year, although I know it isn't. She definitely felt deeper connections at some houses that dropped her, and got asked back to houses where she didn't feel she had connections. There are so many girls rushing and so much that can sway a vote depending on who you talk to during the rounds. She is very happy where she landed and has made some great friends. And because of how large many of the UVA sororities are (including hers) she is still meeting people. Good advice to tell your daughter to give it a chance.

Thanks for this insight; it’s really helpful to hear that the process at UVA can work out for those going in with an open mind. I am hopeful for her that she’ll use the preference round to really look at ones maybe she hadn’t been considering as much in the previous rounds and end up finding her people wherever she gets a bid (hoping she gets one).

If she ranks all her options she’ll get one or the other.

Thanks for the response- this is helpful to know that’s how the process works at Virginia.

Isn't that the case everywhere? 2 pref parties (max) and guaranteed bid IF she ranks both. If she doesn't rank both, she isn't guaranteed a bid.

There are some schools where you can rank both preference night sororities and still not get a bid.

[Anonymous]

So it’s bid day at Michigan today OP - how did it go?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wondering how recruitment has wrapped up for those going through it at UVA. My daughter was really surprised at the houses that asked her back for preference round, as at one of them specifically she hasn’t felt like there’s been really great conversations/connections made. I am not really sure how the process works there, but does that mean that that chapter rated her higher on their list than another chapter that she had maybe ranked higher and didn’t get asked back to did? The ones she got back for the last round are both great chapters, but she really cannot see herself at one of them based on the girls she has met through the earlier rounds. I told her that the chapters are huge and she’s only met a handful of the girls in it, and if she ends up getting a bid to that one then she’d be going in with so many other new girls/it’s a great chance to meet more people. I have been pretty uninvolved in the whole thing, so hoping I gave her good advice.

FWIW she really is going through rush to find her tribe. She joined clubs, club sports etc already 1st semester, but hasn’t really found her people yet and was hopeful a sorority would help do that. Anyone with UVA specific experience to shed light on how the computer matches girls in the final round?

Which sororities does she have left?

All seemed very random when my DD rushed last year, although I know it isn't. She definitely felt deeper connections at some houses that dropped her, and got asked back to houses where she didn't feel she had connections. There are so many girls rushing and so much that can sway a vote depending on who you talk to during the rounds. She is very happy where she landed and has made some great friends. And because of how large many of the UVA sororities are (including hers) she is still meeting people. Good advice to tell your daughter to give it a chance.

Thanks for this insight; it’s really helpful to hear that the process at UVA can work out for those going in with an open mind. I am hopeful for her that she’ll use the preference round to really look at ones maybe she hadn’t been considering as much in the previous rounds and end up finding her people wherever she gets a bid (hoping she gets one).

If she ranks all her options she’ll get one or the other.

Thanks for the response- this is helpful to know that’s how the process works at Virginia.

Isn't that the case everywhere? 2 pref parties (max) and guaranteed bid IF she ranks both. If she doesn't rank both, she isn't guaranteed a bid.

There are some schools where you can rank both preference night sororities and still not get a bid.

How?!? wtf

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So it’s bid day at Michigan today OP - how did it go?!

Yes! Hoping everything worked out for your daughter OP.

[Anonymous]

OP…thinking of you & your daughter! Really hoping it worked out in the end! We want an update.

[Anonymous]

Op - I hope it worked out for your daughter. FWIW, the “tiers” at UM aren’t that relevant to anything. They don’t determine her value and no one pays attention to them unless they have a burning desire to be in the “top 3”. Usually those attract girls for different reasons than the others. Some of the best sisterhoods are those that aren’t trying to create an image.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wondering how recruitment has wrapped up for those going through it at UVA. My daughter was really surprised at the houses that asked her back for preference round, as at one of them specifically she hasn’t felt like there’s been really great conversations/connections made. I am not really sure how the process works there, but does that mean that that chapter rated her higher on their list than another chapter that she had maybe ranked higher and didn’t get asked back to did? The ones she got back for the last round are both great chapters, but she really cannot see herself at one of them based on the girls she has met through the earlier rounds. I told her that the chapters are huge and she’s only met a handful of the girls in it, and if she ends up getting a bid to that one then she’d be going in with so many other new girls/it’s a great chance to meet more people. I have been pretty uninvolved in the whole thing, so hoping I gave her good advice.

FWIW she really is going through rush to find her tribe. She joined clubs, club sports etc already 1st semester, but hasn’t really found her people yet and was hopeful a sorority would help do that. Anyone with UVA specific experience to shed light on how the computer matches girls in the final round?

Which sororities does she have left?

All seemed very random when my DD rushed last year, although I know it isn't. She definitely felt deeper connections at some houses that dropped her, and got asked back to houses where she didn't feel she had connections. There are so many girls rushing and so much that can sway a vote depending on who you talk to during the rounds. She is very happy where she landed and has made some great friends. And because of how large many of the UVA sororities are (including hers) she is still meeting people. Good advice to tell your daughter to give it a chance.

Thanks for this insight; it’s really helpful to hear that the process at UVA can work out for those going in with an open mind. I am hopeful for her that she’ll use the preference round to really look at ones maybe she hadn’t been considering as much in the previous rounds and end up finding her people wherever she gets a bid (hoping she gets one).

If she ranks all her options she’ll get one or the other.

Thanks for the response- this is helpful to know that’s how the process works at Virginia.

Isn't that the case everywhere? 2 pref parties (max) and guaranteed bid IF she ranks both. If she doesn't rank both, she isn't guaranteed a bid.

There are some schools where you can rank both preference night sororities and still not get a bid.

How?!? wtf

Are you talking about getting cross cut? (or whatever it is called now?). I believe the rules have changed so this doesn't happen anymore. If you put your 1st choice as A and 2nd as B and B sorority puts you first and A puts you second, then both groups can fill up before they get to you and you end up "cross cut". Again, I think the rules may have changed or there are ways to sort it.

[Anonymous]

most campuses use RFM now which guarantees a bid if you rank all of your options on pref night. so cross cuts don't happen because you can be added as a quota addition to either of your ranked houses to ensure you get a bid. If your school doesnt use RFM, (e.g. bed limited) then you can get left out on bid day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wondering how recruitment has wrapped up for those going through it at UVA. My daughter was really surprised at the houses that asked her back for preference round, as at one of them specifically she hasn’t felt like there’s been really great conversations/connections made. I am not really sure how the process works there, but does that mean that that chapter rated her higher on their list than another chapter that she had maybe ranked higher and didn’t get asked back to did? The ones she got back for the last round are both great chapters, but she really cannot see herself at one of them based on the girls she has met through the earlier rounds. I told her that the chapters are huge and she’s only met a handful of the girls in it, and if she ends up getting a bid to that one then she’d be going in with so many other new girls/it’s a great chance to meet more people. I have been pretty uninvolved in the whole thing, so hoping I gave her good advice.

FWIW she really is going through rush to find her tribe. She joined clubs, club sports etc already 1st semester, but hasn’t really found her people yet and was hopeful a sorority would help do that. Anyone with UVA specific experience to shed light on how the computer matches girls in the final round?

Which sororities does she have left?

All seemed very random when my DD rushed last year, although I know it isn't. She definitely felt deeper connections at some houses that dropped her, and got asked back to houses where she didn't feel she had connections. There are so many girls rushing and so much that can sway a vote depending on who you talk to during the rounds. She is very happy where she landed and has made some great friends. And because of how large many of the UVA sororities are (including hers) she is still meeting people. Good advice to tell your daughter to give it a chance.

Thanks for this insight; it’s really helpful to hear that the process at UVA can work out for those going in with an open mind. I am hopeful for her that she’ll use the preference round to really look at ones maybe she hadn’t been considering as much in the previous rounds and end up finding her people wherever she gets a bid (hoping she gets one).

If she ranks all her options she’ll get one or the other.

Thanks for the response- this is helpful to know that’s how the process works at Virginia.

Isn't that the case everywhere? 2 pref parties (max) and guaranteed bid IF she ranks both. If she doesn't rank both, she isn't guaranteed a bid.

There are some schools where you can rank both preference night sororities and still not get a bid.

How?!? wtf

Today is Bid Day at DDs school, and the Panhellenic Association President spoke about this after Preference as the girls were all getting ready to fill out their MRABA. She said that in theory, if you attended two preference events and rank both of them you should get a bid. The system is set up to function that way. But there are apparently rare instances where that doesn’t happen, the most influential factor being when girls go through preference then intentionally single rank on the MRABA, because that impacts the quota algorithm. They were all encouraged not to do that in fairness to other PNMs.

[Anonymous]

If you SIP and you aren’t above the quota line, you don’t get a bid. If you don’t SIP, Panhel is able to add you as a quota addition if you are below the quota line for both houses. If you only have one house left, then it’s not a SIP so you are guaranteed a bid from that house if you sign MRABA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wondering how recruitment has wrapped up for those going through it at UVA. My daughter was really surprised at the houses that asked her back for preference round, as at one of them specifically she hasn’t felt like there’s been really great conversations/connections made. I am not really sure how the process works there, but does that mean that that chapter rated her higher on their list than another chapter that she had maybe ranked higher and didn’t get asked back to did? The ones she got back for the last round are both great chapters, but she really cannot see herself at one of them based on the girls she has met through the earlier rounds. I told her that the chapters are huge and she’s only met a handful of the girls in it, and if she ends up getting a bid to that one then she’d be going in with so many other new girls/it’s a great chance to meet more people. I have been pretty uninvolved in the whole thing, so hoping I gave her good advice.

FWIW she really is going through rush to find her tribe. She joined clubs, club sports etc already 1st semester, but hasn’t really found her people yet and was hopeful a sorority would help do that. Anyone with UVA specific experience to shed light on how the computer matches girls in the final round?

Which sororities does she have left?

All seemed very random when my DD rushed last year, although I know it isn't. She definitely felt deeper connections at some houses that dropped her, and got asked back to houses where she didn't feel she had connections. There are so many girls rushing and so much that can sway a vote depending on who you talk to during the rounds. She is very happy where she landed and has made some great friends. And because of how large many of the UVA sororities are (including hers) she is still meeting people. Good advice to tell your daughter to give it a chance.

Thanks for this insight; it’s really helpful to hear that the process at UVA can work out for those going in with an open mind. I am hopeful for her that she’ll use the preference round to really look at ones maybe she hadn’t been considering as much in the previous rounds and end up finding her people wherever she gets a bid (hoping she gets one).

If she ranks all her options she’ll get one or the other.

Thanks for the response- this is helpful to know that’s how the process works at Virginia.

Isn't that the case everywhere? 2 pref parties (max) and guaranteed bid IF she ranks both. If she doesn't rank both, she isn't guaranteed a bid.

There are some schools where you can rank both preference night sororities and still not get a bid.

How?!? wtf

Today is Bid Day at DDs school, and the Panhellenic Association President spoke about this after Preference as the girls were all getting ready to fill out their MRABA. She said that in theory, if you attended two preference events and rank both of them you should get a bid. The system is set up to function that way. But there are apparently rare instances where that doesn’t happen, the most influential factor being when girls go through preference then intentionally single rank on the MRABA, because that impacts the quota algorithm. They were all encouraged not to do that in fairness to other PNMs.

At Michigan, if you single rank, but attend 2 parties, you are not elligible for quota additions. That means, if you don't make the cut on the one sorority, left the other one out and don't match before quota, you are done. Girls who rank both would be set aside, but end up below the quote line in both houses will be set aside and then added to one of the two houses. That is a little unfair to those who single bid, but it's how the system is set up. So, girls need to be really OK with either house if they rank 2 or really OK with not getting a bid at all if they only rank 1. (All this is irrelevant if they only have 1 pref parties. There is no mystery there.)

[Anonymous]

I'd take the transfer talk seriously. A college that is so fixated on Greek culture is probably not a great fit. It's a brutal system, and can be pretty toxic and unhealthy regardless of where someone fits into it. And she's right that if her friends join sororities and she doesn't, or is in a different one, that they will drift apart. Sororities intentionally make it that way. Transferring to a school without such a robust Greek system - perhaps a smaller school with a better sense of community - would probably best. Do it sooner rather than later. This time, take time to find out if the community is really suited to her - you don't want to make the same mistake twice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd take the transfer talk seriously. A college that is so fixated on Greek culture is probably not a great fit. It's a brutal system, and can be pretty toxic and unhealthy regardless of where someone fits into it. And she's right that if her friends join sororities and she doesn't, or is in a different one, that they will drift apart. Sororities intentionally make it that way. Transferring to a school without such a robust Greek system - perhaps a smaller school with a better sense of community - would probably best. Do it sooner rather than later. This time, take time to find out if the community is really suited to her - you don't want to make the same mistake twice.

OP's daughter is at UM. They aren't so fixated on Greek culture. Less than 20% of students participate. It's just top of mind right now b/c of rush. Also, greek life is even less of a deal when the students are juniors and seniors. While a good number of sorority girls live in their houses sophomore year, there isn't a single house that can fit all their sophomores anymore and a lot of girls opt to live out of house, even with their pre-rush friends. UM sorority life is additive, it's not a school where girls drop each other b/c of the letters on their sweatshirts.The pp doesn't know anything about how UM operates.

[Anonymous]

My niece rushed at Michigan last year. She had two preference parties but only ranked one of them because she liked the one but didn’t see herself joining the other. I don’t know anything about the “tiers” of sororities at UM but she’s a low key person and not what you’d think of as the “typical” sorority girl so I doubt she was gunning for a top tier, status-y sorority, but rather was truly looking for a sisterhood of like minded women. It worked out for her, she’s living in the house this year and seems to be having fun with it.