When sorority rush goes wrong

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:most campuses use RFM now which guarantees a bid if you rank all of your options on pref night. so cross cuts don't happen because you can be added as a quota addition to either of your ranked houses to ensure you get a bid. If your school doesnt use RFM, (e.g. bed limited) then you can get left out on bid day.

I think Indiana was the last major school using bed rush but they have moved to RFM!

[Anonymous]

The meanest mom in the entire DMV was ranking up letters this summer for her also mean daughter!! Yikes. Southern school - trying to get her into one of top 3 sororities. I don't know if she was successful in her quest but her daughter has had so many issues at every school she has been at - both in dc and at boarding school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My niece rushed at Michigan last year. She had two preference parties but only ranked one of them because she liked the one but didn’t see herself joining the other. I don’t know anything about the “tiers” of sororities at UM but she’s a low key person and not what you’d think of as the “typical” sorority girl so I doubt she was gunning for a top tier, status-y sorority, but rather was truly looking for a sisterhood of like minded women. It worked out for her, she’s living in the house this year and seems to be having fun with it.

This is similar to my daughter’s experience at a strong academic flagship. One of the reasons she liked her sorority was the proximity to campus. She’s made some awesome friends, will live with her “sisters” off campus her senior year, and has a leadership posiition managing $100K +. We are an immigrant family with no experience in the Greek system. Another benefit was that living in the house is much cheaper than the other options. Great overall experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The meanest mom in the entire DMV was ranking up letters this summer for her also mean daughter!! Yikes. Southern school - trying to get her into one of top 3 sororities. I don't know if she was successful in her quest but her daughter has had so many issues at every school she has been at - both in dc and at boarding school.

You sound equally bad. Mature adults do not write posts like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she just wants friends and a community, what's wrong with the "lowest tier" houses? If all she wants is friends and a community, why would she care about the presumed prestige of a sorority? For that matter, if all she wants is friends and a community, why rush at all? There are many other ways to make friends.

Exactly. Any sorority will be a community for her. She doesn't need to be a snob about it.

You were so kind until that last sentence. It doesn’t meant the girl’s a snob if she didn’t feel a connection to one of those communities that offers her a a bid.

DP. Any adult who talks about lower-tier sororities deserves a lot stronger rebuke than being called a snob.

+1. It’s so cringeworthy and almost entirely driven by the moms whose entire self-worth is wrapped up in whether their daughters end up in a top sorority. It’s gross. And to the PP who says these are the same skills you need to succeed in the professional world. That’s complete BS.

[Anonymous]

Op I really hope your daughter is ok…

[Anonymous]

OP, I hope your daughter is ok too. My DD just went through rush at different school with a pretty competitive rush and dropped out before bid day because she didn't feel connected to girls in the house she had left. Even with her deciding to drop b/c it wasn't what she wanted, it's been a mix of emotions watching friends get their bids, wearing the merch, etc. It's hard when they are far away - we've been talking and texting through it and she has other clubs she's involved in which she feels are a better fit. Greek life can be great (I was in a sorority myself) but it should just be one piece of the college experience. Not all of it. Especially at a school like hers (or Michigan) that has so much more to offer. Good luck to you both!!

[Anonymous]

I agree that Greek life is toxic. My DD rushed at a school where it was very popular. Got into a sorority but it wasn't her first choice and frankly, she dropped out the next fall. That winter she decided to transfer to a school where Greek life just wasn't a thing. Best choice ever. DD shared that in hindsight the whole rush process is dehumanizing. DD said if you want to be a follower instead of a leader, then Greek life is for you. She decided that marching to her own drum suited her much better!

[Anonymous]

Interesting how OP never came back. I am guessing she is ashamed that her daughter did not get in anywhere.

[Anonymous]

My guess is that not ashamed but that her daughter might be going through it (emotionally) and she is too, by proxy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My guess is that not ashamed but that her daughter might be going through it (emotionally) and she is too, by proxy.

Or she didn't feel comfortable sharing anymore. It's anonymous, but I know my daughter would not have reacted kindly to a post like this.

To the poster who made the comment about being a leader or a follower, that's not really a fair representation. There are some that want you to look, act and pose a certain way (and it's not about being a "proper lady") and there are others that accept people for who they are. Chose wisely!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she just wants friends and a community, what's wrong with the "lowest tier" houses? If all she wants is friends and a community, why would she care about the presumed prestige of a sorority? For that matter, if all she wants is friends and a community, why rush at all? There are many other ways to make friends.

Exactly. Any sorority will be a community for her. She doesn't need to be a snob about it.

You were so kind until that last sentence. It doesn’t meant the girl’s a snob if she didn’t feel a connection to one of those communities that offers her a a bid.

DP. Any adult who talks about lower-tier sororities deserves a lot stronger rebuke than being called a snob.

+1. It’s so cringeworthy and almost entirely driven by the moms whose entire self-worth is wrapped up in whether their daughters end up in a top sorority. It’s gross. And to the PP who says these are the same skills you need to succeed in the professional world. That’s complete BS.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you encourage her to give the “lowest tier” house a real chance? My sorority was the least well regarded on campus and I had a blast and found a wonderful community.

Bonus: when we had “movie and pizza night” on the suite, we actually ate the pizza. (Other sororities had too much disordered eating ro that.)

+1. “Lowest tier” is based off of juvenile things like who fraternities find the hottest, longest on campus, etc.

[Anonymous]

Northwestern sorority rush was brutal. Only 50% of girls who rushed got bids.
Brutal.

A lot of Manhattan private school girls didn’t get bids (many SIP) and are now thinking about helping recolonize a chapter that’s coming back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Northwestern sorority rush was brutal. Only 50% of girls who rushed got bids.
Brutal.

A lot of Manhattan private school girls didn’t get bids (many SIP) and are now thinking about helping recolonize a chapter that’s coming back.

What’s SIP?