When sorority rush goes wrong

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has OP's daughter dropped out and joined the Army yet?

Some of my favorite friends from Greek life in college were also in either Navy or Army ROTC. There are also several excellent articles about people who are in the Divine Nine and also serve. You should check them out. Military service and Greek life are not mutually exclusive.

There's also lot to admire about those who enlist in military service instead of college; perhaps it shouldn't be used to make a joke about someone else's kid, just saying.

Not a joke. Military life is about peer bonding and community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Is she at a school where she could rush next year? I pledged my freshman year as did my roommate, hall mates etc. We all landed at houses we wanted except for one friend who did not get a bid. She was devastated. But, she moved on, we all still did stuff and the next year she pledged my sorority.

Same exact story except it was my roommate who didn’t get a bid - but she rushed again the next year and pledged my sorority.

Rush is nothing like it was 20 years ago.

agreed. It is very much influenced by social media now (and not in a productive way)

What about the girls who have no social media?

They are at a disadvantage. Many houses check SM before the first meeting. No SM is somewhat neutral, but they will take someone they've researched over an unknown.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she at a school where she could rush next year? I pledged my freshman year as did my roommate, hall mates etc. We all landed at houses we wanted except for one friend who did not get a bid. She was devastated. But, she moved on, we all still did stuff and the next year she pledged my sorority.

Same exact story except it was my roommate who didn’t get a bid - but she rushed again the next year and pledged my sorority.

Rush is nothing like it was 20 years ago.

agreed. It is very much influenced by social media now (and not in a productive way)

What about the girls who have no social media?

99.9% of college girls have a social media presence. If you don't think your kid does, they probably have a secret one.
Is there some alt-fringe population that is anti-social media these days? If so, I doubt those people are rushing a sorority...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she at a school where she could rush next year? I pledged my freshman year as did my roommate, hall mates etc. We all landed at houses we wanted except for one friend who did not get a bid. She was devastated. But, she moved on, we all still did stuff and the next year she pledged my sorority.

Same exact story except it was my roommate who didn’t get a bid - but she rushed again the next year and pledged my sorority.

Rush is nothing like it was 20 years ago.

agreed. It is very much influenced by social media now (and not in a productive way)

What about the girls who have no social media?

99.9% of college girls have a social media presence. If you don't think your kid does, they probably have a secret one.
Is there some alt-fringe population that is anti-social media these days? If so, I doubt those people are rushing a sorority...

In the DMV kids that don't may very well have parents who discourage because of their jobs/ opsec. Or perhaps their parents are in big tech and discouraged it. Not every teen girl has a robust social media presence, and it may very well make rush more difficult for them. Being an influencer on sm can likewise hurt girls in rush, from what my dd has told me.

[Anonymous]

My kid's social media was minimal and private prior to college. We highly discouraged particularly due to college apps and wanting to avoid any potential issues. When they started college, my kid was told sororities check out potential new members social media. So, they added photos and stories - to show their more social side and made it public prior to sorority rush. I think its aweful but it's the reality for kids today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:My guess is that not ashamed but that her daughter might be going through it (emotionally) and she is too, by proxy.

Or she didn't feel comfortable sharing anymore. It's anonymous, but I know my daughter would not have reacted kindly to a post like this.

To the poster who made the comment about being a leader or a follower, that's not really a fair representation. There are some that want you to look, act and pose a certain way (and it's not about being a "proper lady") and there are others that accept people for who they are. Chose wisely!

Agree. People like Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Doris Kearns Goodwin were in sororities.

I notice you cited examples from a time when the sororities those ladies were in were all-white as a rule. How very interesting. I guess it was all great to have closely-guarded segregation as long as the graduates did well, huh?

Please research the "Divine Nine." Most women of color choose one of those amazing, impactful, life-long associations, over Kappa Omega Whatever, as would I if I were a POC. Though, most of the "historically all-white" sororities now care deeply about recruiting women of color, though it's a tough sell when better options are available.

Do the historically Black sororities and fraternities accept white students? Would white students be welcomed?

Oh stop

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she at a school where she could rush next year? I pledged my freshman year as did my roommate, hall mates etc. We all landed at houses we wanted except for one friend who did not get a bid. She was devastated. But, she moved on, we all still did stuff and the next year she pledged my sorority.

Same exact story except it was my roommate who didn’t get a bid - but she rushed again the next year and pledged my sorority.

Rush is nothing like it was 20 years ago.

agreed. It is very much influenced by social media now (and not in a productive way)

What about the girls who have no social media?

99.9% of college girls have a social media presence. If you don't think your kid does, they probably have a secret one.
Is there some alt-fringe population that is anti-social media these days? If so, I doubt those people are rushing a sorority...

In the DMV kids that don't may very well have parents who discourage because of their jobs/ opsec. Or perhaps their parents are in big tech and discouraged it. Not every teen girl has a robust social media presence, and it may very well make rush more difficult for them. Being an influencer on sm can likewise hurt girls in rush, from what my dd has told me.

If a girl has a SM account with 10K followers, you can almost guarantee she is in 1 of 3 sororities at DC's school. Content type matters, however,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she at a school where she could rush next year? I pledged my freshman year as did my roommate, hall mates etc. We all landed at houses we wanted except for one friend who did not get a bid. She was devastated. But, she moved on, we all still did stuff and the next year she pledged my sorority.

Same exact story except it was my roommate who didn’t get a bid - but she rushed again the next year and pledged my sorority.

Rush is nothing like it was 20 years ago.

agreed. It is very much influenced by social media now (and not in a productive way)

What about the girls who have no social media?

99.9% of college girls have a social media presence. If you don't think your kid does, they probably have a secret one.
Is there some alt-fringe population that is anti-social media these days? If so, I doubt those people are rushing a sorority...

In the DMV kids that don't may very well have parents who discourage because of their jobs/ opsec. Or perhaps their parents are in big tech and discouraged it. Not every teen girl has a robust social media presence, and it may very well make rush more difficult for them. Being an influencer on sm can likewise hurt girls in rush, from what my dd has told me.

If a girl has a SM account with 10K followers, you can almost guarantee she is in 1 of 3 sororities at DC's school. Content type matters, however,

A girl at DCs school has 29k followers with content primarily related to travel, her expensive car, her dog, and her fitness business. She dropped out of recruitment when the two sororities she considered acceptable failed to invite her back after the first round. With fewer than 100 women rushing, I’d assume it wasn’t difficult for chapters to at least peek at most of their SM accounts if they wanted to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has OP's daughter dropped out and joined the Army yet?

Some of my favorite friends from Greek life in college were also in either Navy or Army ROTC. There are also several excellent articles about people who are in the Divine Nine and also serve. You should check them out. Military service and Greek life are not mutually exclusive.

There's also lot to admire about those who enlist in military service instead of college; perhaps it shouldn't be used to make a joke about someone else's kid, just saying.

Not a joke. Military life is about peer bonding and community.

Not anymore Military Life in this country is learning to be a NAZI.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s a shame that you’re so biased that you don’t consider the full qualifications of candidates for hiring. Many of the students involved in their fraternity/sorority boards run organizations of 250+ people with large operating budgets, have risk management training, run charitable events, work within national guidelines, attend national leadership conferences, etc. It sounds like your company may be missing some recent grads who could be good candidates based on your reliance on Greek stereotypes.

Well said.

Dp, I wa an officer in my sorority and wouldn’t dream of including it on my resume. One can participate in Greek life while still having enough common sense to be aware of the stereotypes it invokes.

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I see no purpose in including Greek executive officer experience on a resume many years after graduation, but what about when they apply to their first jobs? I think it would be a plus, when they don’t have a lot of professional experience yet. What about being treasurer/president for a campus organization? Would that be a plus?

Did you read my post to the end ? No, it isn’t a plus. People assume you are dumb and superficial.

I disagree with this. For a first job, it's fine and expected to see greek leadership/ membership on a resume. But I see 35 and 40 year olds who still include this. At that point, it's embarrassing. Or should be.

Anyone aged 35-40 who is including college activities and organizations on their resumes should probably move on to professional accomplishments and organizations, not just those who were in Greek organizations.

It’s not fine and expected unless you live in the Deep South.

You might not realize this, but for many people, participation in social service organizations can be life-long — and leadership roles and accomplishments are very relevant professional skills. NP

[Anonymous]

Please remind her that as you said community can come from many places. Volunteer work, internship, clubs, coffee with friends weekly, study groups. Volunteering at that age changed my life. I dropped out of a sorority because the idea of excluding others/sitting around talking about things that didn't matter started to wear on me. Didn't regret it either.

[Anonymous]

Returning to say that my UVA dd ended up at an unexpected house after completing the recruitment process in January and is enjoying meeting so many new girls. It has broadened her outlook about school as she was struggling first semester to find her tribe on campus despite joining clubs, hanging out with hallmates, etc. So it CAN work out in a good way, even if unexpected. If your daughter is considering rush next year then encourage her to stick with the process and have an open mind. Though it doesn’t make the process any less overwhelming or stressful, she can definitely end up in a great community of women who are happy to have her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Returning to say that my UVA dd ended up at an unexpected house after completing the recruitment process in January and is enjoying meeting so many new girls. It has broadened her outlook about school as she was struggling first semester to find her tribe on campus despite joining clubs, hanging out with hallmates, etc. So it CAN work out in a good way, even if unexpected. If your daughter is considering rush next year then encourage her to stick with the process and have an open mind. Though it doesn’t make the process any less overwhelming or stressful, she can definitely end up in a great community of women who are happy to have her.

This! The fact of the matter is that even the “less popular” houses have a ton of great girls and perhaps your daughter will make her best friends amongst them. Girls rushing at UVA tend to focus on the more known “names” that everyone talks about but there are more than enough chapters for everyone to find a home and most of them have 150+ members so you’d be hard pressed not to find a group within that that you click with.

My DS rushed a “less popular” option and he has made amazing friends. Now as a post grad he lives with one and sees others regularly. The experience really made his UVA career complete.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Returning to say that my UVA dd ended up at an unexpected house after completing the recruitment process in January and is enjoying meeting so many new girls. It has broadened her outlook about school as she was struggling first semester to find her tribe on campus despite joining clubs, hanging out with hallmates, etc. So it CAN work out in a good way, even if unexpected. If your daughter is considering rush next year then encourage her to stick with the process and have an open mind. Though it doesn’t make the process any less overwhelming or stressful, she can definitely end up in a great community of women who are happy to have her.

That’s great! I hope she really enjoys getting to know the girls. My DD is a second year and rushed and pledged last year, and has really enjoyed making new friends in the sorority. I’m sure yours will have the same experience!