When sorority rush goes wrong

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has OP's daughter dropped out and joined the Army yet?

Some of my favorite friends from Greek life in college were also in either Navy or Army ROTC. There are also several excellent articles about people who are in the Divine Nine and also serve. You should check them out. Military service and Greek life are not mutually exclusive.

There's also lot to admire about those who enlist in military service instead of college; perhaps it shouldn't be used to make a joke about someone else's kid, just saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:That’s a shame that you’re so biased that you don’t consider the full qualifications of candidates for hiring. Many of the students involved in their fraternity/sorority boards run organizations of 250+ people with large operating budgets, have risk management training, run charitable events, work within national guidelines, attend national leadership conferences, etc. It sounds like your company may be missing some recent grads who could be good candidates based on your reliance on Greek stereotypes.

Well said.

Dp, I wa an officer in my sorority and wouldn’t dream of including it on my resume. One can participate in Greek life while still having enough common sense to be aware of the stereotypes it invokes.

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I see no purpose in including Greek executive officer experience on a resume many years after graduation, but what about when they apply to their first jobs? I think it would be a plus, when they don’t have a lot of professional experience yet. What about being treasurer/president for a campus organization? Would that be a plus?

Did you read my post to the end ? No, it isn’t a plus. People assume you are dumb and superficial.

I disagree with this. For a first job, it's fine and expected to see greek leadership/ membership on a resume. But I see 35 and 40 year olds who still include this. At that point, it's embarrassing. Or should be.

Anyone aged 35-40 who is including college activities and organizations on their resumes should probably move on to professional accomplishments and organizations, not just those who were in Greek organizations.

It’s not fine and expected unless you live in the Deep South.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL. Top 5 “things in common” thresholds for sororities:

1) Are you white and Christian
2) Are you pretty (bonus points for blonde)
3) Are you thin
4) Are you down to drink and be verrrryyyy “social” with fraternity brothers
5) Are you likely to STFU and do what you’re told

My daughter is a beautiful (inside and out), kind, hardworking, community-oriented young woman. She stands and speaks up for what she believes in. She, reflective of the overall stats for girls in sororities at Mich, has a higher GPA than the U Mich average (she has straight As). She is social and friendly, and if anyone said to her that she was "verrrryyy 'social' with fraternity brothers" she would likely tell you to go F*** yourself. So, on her behalf, and on behalf of other young women you are slandering as sexually promiscuous please go F*** yourself.

If she would use language like that, she is not a completely "beautiful woman."

LOL

Respect anyone who stands up for themself and others with salty language as appropriate, which is the case here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL. Top 5 “things in common” thresholds for sororities:

1) Are you white and Christian
2) Are you pretty (bonus points for blonde)
3) Are you thin
4) Are you down to drink and be verrrryyyy “social” with fraternity brothers
5) Are you likely to STFU and do what you’re told

My daughter is a beautiful (inside and out), kind, hardworking, community-oriented young woman. She stands and speaks up for what she believes in. She, reflective of the overall stats for girls in sororities at Mich, has a higher GPA than the U Mich average (she has straight As). She is social and friendly, and if anyone said to her that she was "verrrryyy 'social' with fraternity brothers" she would likely tell you to go F*** yourself. So, on her behalf, and on behalf of other young women you are slandering as sexually promiscuous please go F*** yourself.

If she would use language like that, she is not a completely "beautiful woman."

LOL

Respect anyone who stands up for themself and others with salty language as appropriate, which is the case here

Disagree. Salty language like this is never appropriate. It is extremely low class and certainly not employed by one who claims to be “beautiful on the inside.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she at a school where she could rush next year? I pledged my freshman year as did my roommate, hall mates etc. We all landed at houses we wanted except for one friend who did not get a bid. She was devastated. But, she moved on, we all still did stuff and the next year she pledged my sorority.

Same exact story except it was my roommate who didn’t get a bid - but she rushed again the next year and pledged my sorority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has OP's daughter dropped out and joined the Army yet?

Some of my favorite friends from Greek life in college were also in either Navy or Army ROTC. There are also several excellent articles about people who are in the Divine Nine and also serve. You should check them out. Military service and Greek life are not mutually exclusive.

There's also lot to admire about those who enlist in military service instead of college; perhaps it shouldn't be used to make a joke about someone else's kid, just saying.

Well said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she at a school where she could rush next year? I pledged my freshman year as did my roommate, hall mates etc. We all landed at houses we wanted except for one friend who did not get a bid. She was devastated. But, she moved on, we all still did stuff and the next year she pledged my sorority.

Same exact story except it was my roommate who didn’t get a bid - but she rushed again the next year and pledged my sorority.

Rush is nothing like it was 20 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL. Top 5 “things in common” thresholds for sororities:

1) Are you white and Christian
2) Are you pretty (bonus points for blonde)
3) Are you thin
4) Are you down to drink and be verrrryyyy “social” with fraternity brothers
5) Are you likely to STFU and do what you’re told

My daughter is a beautiful (inside and out), kind, hardworking, community-oriented young woman. She stands and speaks up for what she believes in. She, reflective of the overall stats for girls in sororities at Mich, has a higher GPA than the U Mich average (she has straight As). She is social and friendly, and if anyone said to her that she was "verrrryyy 'social' with fraternity brothers" she would likely tell you to go F*** yourself. So, on her behalf, and on behalf of other young women you are slandering as sexually promiscuous please go F*** yourself.

If she would use language like that, she is not a completely "beautiful woman."

LOL

Respect anyone who stands up for themself and others with salty language as appropriate, which is the case here

Disagree. Salty language like this is never appropriate. It is extremely low class and certainly not employed by one who claims to be “beautiful on the inside.”

Lower class than slandering young women as sexually promiscuous? This is precisely the type of comment that warrants being met with language your foul heart can understand. So, yes, I say for you to go F### yourself.

[Anonymous]

I had a kid with have a rough time with rush. She ended up pledging her sophomore year (the thing where you don’t actually go through rush again. I don’t remember what it is called). I have no idea of the “tier”, but it must not be very high if she was able to get a bid outside of formal rush. She’s made a great community and still has very deep friendships with many outside of her sorority.

The tier thing is just a construct by people who want to feel like their sororities are the “best.” I encourage to try to dissuade your daughter from taking that into account.

[Anonymous]

I could not afford to rush the sorority I wanted in college and while my friends who belonged still invited me the the house and parties once in a while, there were many events I could not attend and I began to feel even more isolated from them as the years passed and they became more involved in the sorority and moved into the house. She should not settle and she should transfer and find a place away from older girls from her HS who obviously do not regard her well. Your poor DD - social drama is always awful no matter how old you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:My guess is that not ashamed but that her daughter might be going through it (emotionally) and she is too, by proxy.

Or she didn't feel comfortable sharing anymore. It's anonymous, but I know my daughter would not have reacted kindly to a post like this.

To the poster who made the comment about being a leader or a follower, that's not really a fair representation. There are some that want you to look, act and pose a certain way (and it's not about being a "proper lady") and there are others that accept people for who they are. Chose wisely!

Agree. People like Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Doris Kearns Goodwin were in sororities.

I notice you cited examples from a time when the sororities those ladies were in were all-white as a rule. How very interesting. I guess it was all great to have closely-guarded segregation as long as the graduates did well, huh?

Please research the "Divine Nine." Most women of color choose one of those amazing, impactful, life-long associations, over Kappa Omega Whatever, as would I if I were a POC. Though, most of the "historically all-white" sororities now care deeply about recruiting women of color, though it's a tough sell when better options are available.

Do the historically Black sororities and fraternities accept white students? Would white students be welcomed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she at a school where she could rush next year? I pledged my freshman year as did my roommate, hall mates etc. We all landed at houses we wanted except for one friend who did not get a bid. She was devastated. But, she moved on, we all still did stuff and the next year she pledged my sorority.

Same exact story except it was my roommate who didn’t get a bid - but she rushed again the next year and pledged my sorority.

Rush is nothing like it was 20 years ago.

agreed. It is very much influenced by social media now (and not in a productive way)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is long and I didn’t read most of it. Just replying to OP’s original question. My daughter is a freshman at a big 10 school. She began the rush process and got several bids but she found it overwhelming and ultimately dropped out. Fast forward and next year she will share an apartment with some friends who are in sororities. She is happy that she hasn’t lost the friendships and that she’ll have more time to devote to her sport and other extracurriculars. I hope your daughter will find her people whether they are in sororities or not.

Thus was me at Michigan years ago. I went thru one or two rounds of rush because my roommates really encouraged me and I was overwhelmed by all of the rush obligations plus my heavy school workload. I dropped out. Ended up having plenty of friends. I watched my roommates agonize over it and thought it strange. Sophomore year several of my friends in houses reached out to ask me to rush- almost guaranteeing a spot but the idea of having to live in the house for junior and senior year was a turnoff. I don't know if Michigan still has a 2-year minimum for living in? If so, then you miss out on getting a house together of your besties senior year if you join as a sophomore. For me, I was instate and had attended the schools that fed the "top" houses. Wasn't really interested in highschool 2.0 at the end of the day. no regrets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she at a school where she could rush next year? I pledged my freshman year as did my roommate, hall mates etc. We all landed at houses we wanted except for one friend who did not get a bid. She was devastated. But, she moved on, we all still did stuff and the next year she pledged my sorority.

Same exact story except it was my roommate who didn’t get a bid - but she rushed again the next year and pledged my sorority.

Rush is nothing like it was 20 years ago.

agreed. It is very much influenced by social media now (and not in a productive way)

+1000. The "first round of rush" is actually how your social media feed presents.

That "round" has nothing to do with your personality or how well you get along with girls in the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she at a school where she could rush next year? I pledged my freshman year as did my roommate, hall mates etc. We all landed at houses we wanted except for one friend who did not get a bid. She was devastated. But, she moved on, we all still did stuff and the next year she pledged my sorority.

Same exact story except it was my roommate who didn’t get a bid - but she rushed again the next year and pledged my sorority.

Rush is nothing like it was 20 years ago.

agreed. It is very much influenced by social media now (and not in a productive way)

What about the girls who have no social media?