Talk me off a ledge- other side of the world and just discovered cheating

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ooof. Telling the OW that you're "just coparenting" makes it harder for me to understand. it's an additional layer of deceit. One single episode of actual sex followed by sexting isn't an automatic deal breaker in my books, but I think talking badly about me behind my back would be. The problem with giving advice on an internet forum is that it's all theoretical, we are all spectators, and only OP is the one living through this. So, OP, ultimately, don't listen to us. Listen to your innermost voice.

I didn't actually see anywhere where he said that but she made several comments alluding to that and his responses were very clearly changing the subject each time/not acknowledging it or correcting it. But yeah, agree.

This is the most common BS married people say when they want to get laid outside the marriage, or that they aren’t having sex but otherwise happy.

What a cheater says to get someone to rake their pants off really isn’t the issue. They are all lying to get laid. Duh.

And then they find out the wife got pregnant during the affair…and see all kinds of evidence otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry you have been cheated on, lied to and deceived the past 3 years, possibly more. Get tested for STIs. Remember you only know now because you stumbled upon this. He had no intention of telling you and kept this crap up for years. The tears are about getting caught. Not regret over what he has been doing.

I’ve been where you are now. It is hell. It will continue to be hell for awhile, but you will get through this.

Thanks. Did you stay or leave?

It's the rabid STI poster lol. Typically the first responder on every one of the cheating threads.

Hello, rabid "No one gets STIs any more, so why bother to test" poster! Back again, I see. I'm ONE of the posters you love to hate but you always seem to think there's only one of us who lives in the real world where real people can get real viruses from each other.

So cute, how you always jump in to act as if you're addressing just a solo poster, and to think it's a slam on us to say we're "typically the first responder on every one of the cheating threads." Not a slam. A badge of honor.

And nope, that specific post wasn't from me. Believe it or not. You'll choose "not," I'm sure, to bolster your own weird belief that only one person could possibly post on DCUM about STIs! I'm sure there are more than one of YOU out there, determined to spread your gospel that STIs just aren't A Thing anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ooof. Telling the OW that you're "just coparenting" makes it harder for me to understand. it's an additional layer of deceit. One single episode of actual sex followed by sexting isn't an automatic deal breaker in my books, but I think talking badly about me behind my back would be. The problem with giving advice on an internet forum is that it's all theoretical, we are all spectators, and only OP is the one living through this. So, OP, ultimately, don't listen to us. Listen to your innermost voice.

I didn't actually see anywhere where he said that but she made several comments alluding to that and his responses were very clearly changing the subject each time/not acknowledging it or correcting it. But yeah, agree.

PP again, the fact he avoided discussing you altogether is better than the alternative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not that surprising that a man who got married at 18 (!!) wanted to live a little.

I wonder if this is a troll. Sounds very trollish. In-laws picking you up at the airport?

If you’re not a troll you need to establish some boundaries and cut the apron strings.

We got married at 26. Dated since 18. We have 2 little ones that need car seats and couldn't take a cab/uber so they picked us up in our car with the seats. Wish I was a troll.

Of course you have a reason. But you just deal with it and hire a car service with car seats. You don’t have your parents or his parents picking you up.

I am so thankful for my in-laws as they pick us up from the airport nearly every time we fly. I am sorry you don’t have that support.

For many people navigating an airport pick-up is truly a hardship, especially if they are 65+. I understand having a younger adult sibling pick you up, other than that factor a car service into your travel budget.

Some other people are running countries well into their 80s. I think your view of those of us who are over 65 is a bit off. Most in their 60s and even 70s and some in their 80s would be able to handle picking someone up at the airport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry you have been cheated on, lied to and deceived the past 3 years, possibly more. Get tested for STIs. Remember you only know now because you stumbled upon this. He had no intention of telling you and kept this crap up for years. The tears are about getting caught. Not regret over what he has been doing.

I’ve been where you are now. It is hell. It will continue to be hell for awhile, but you will get through this.

Thanks. Did you stay or leave?

It's the rabid STI poster lol. Typically the first responder on every one of the cheating threads.

Hello, rabid "No one gets STIs any more, so why bother to test" poster! Back again, I see. I'm ONE of the posters you love to hate but you always seem to think there's only one of us who lives in the real world where real people can get real viruses from each other.

So cute, how you always jump in to act as if you're addressing just a solo poster, and to think it's a slam on us to say we're "typically the first responder on every one of the cheating threads." Not a slam. A badge of honor.

And nope, that specific post wasn't from me. Believe it or not. You'll choose "not," I'm sure, to bolster your own weird belief that only one person could possibly post on DCUM about STIs! I'm sure there are more than one of YOU out there, determined to spread your gospel that STIs just aren't A Thing anymore.

Pp that you are quoting probably has an STI and wants people to believe that it is not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not that surprising that a man who got married at 18 (!!) wanted to live a little.

I wonder if this is a troll. Sounds very trollish. In-laws picking you up at the airport?

If you’re not a troll you need to establish some boundaries and cut the apron strings.

We got married at 26. Dated since 18. We have 2 little ones that need car seats and couldn't take a cab/uber so they picked us up in our car with the seats. Wish I was a troll.

Of course you have a reason. But you just deal with it and hire a car service with car seats. You don’t have your parents or his parents picking you up.

I am so thankful for my in-laws as they pick us up from the airport nearly every time we fly. I am sorry you don’t have that support.

For many people navigating an airport pick-up is truly a hardship, especially if they are 65+. I understand having a younger adult sibling pick you up, other than that factor a car service into your travel budget.

Some other people are running countries well into their 80s. I think your view of those of us who are over 65 is a bit off. Most in their 60s and even 70s and some in their 80s would be able to handle picking someone up at the airport.

My husband’s grandparents were completley self sufficient until their late 80s and always picked us up. -NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s not that surprising that a man who got married at 18 (!!) wanted to live a little.

I wonder if this is a troll. Sounds very trollish. In-laws picking you up at the airport?

If you’re not a troll you need to establish some boundaries and cut the apron strings.

We got married at 26. Dated since 18. We have 2 little ones that need car seats and couldn't take a cab/uber so they picked us up in our car with the seats. Wish I was a troll.

Of course you have a reason. But you just deal with it and hire a car service with car seats. You don’t have your parents or his parents picking you up.

I am so thankful for my in-laws as they pick us up from the airport nearly every time we fly. I am sorry you don’t have that support.

For many people navigating an airport pick-up is truly a hardship, especially if they are 65+. I understand having a younger adult sibling pick you up, other than that factor a car service into your travel budget.

Some other people are running countries well into their 80s. I think your view of those of us who are over 65 is a bit off. Most in their 60s and even 70s and some in their 80s would be able to handle picking someone up at the airport.

+1. My 82 year old Mom dropped me off at the airport for a trip this fall, even though I could afford the $80 can to the airport. But, $80 is $80. Maybe 8 decades of giving and getting rides to the airport and investing the money in the stock market is what made her and my Dad so wealthy. A penny saved, you know.

[Anonymous]

Who the hell cates about airport drop off and pick up for crying out loud?! Quit hijacking the thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just wanted to say that I am really sorry you are going through this. You will be OK but this will be a tough period to get through. You don't have to make any decisions today. Hugs.

This is the best advice. Read it again. There are a lot of divorce cheerleaders on this board. They don't have to live your life.

Do what you can to make it home and take some time to process. Some people divorce over this but many don't. I didn' over a very similar situation. I would be careful about involving his family in this.

I agree, divorce is not the only option. I'm sorry OP. Wish you the best

[Anonymous]

So sorry , OP. You sound so lovely and so blind- sided.

It’s also so weird to me that they would have a three- year text affair! I’d just want to know if she traveled to him in all that time as you said he did not?

It seems more like fan fiction ( I don’t really know about this other than a good friend said he lost his wife to that- in that every night she’d just be on an online board chatting with others about some character they all liked. They divorced)

Anyway, the cheating is awful but the lying and giving himself emotionally to someone else for 3 yrs would do it for me. Again, so sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So sorry , OP. You sound so lovely and so blind- sided.

It’s also so weird to me that they would have a three- year text affair! I’d just want to know if she traveled to him in all that time as you said he did not?

It seems more like fan fiction ( I don’t really know about this other than a good friend said he lost his wife to that- in that every night she’d just be on an online board chatting with others about some character they all liked. They divorced)

Anyway, the cheating is awful but the lying and giving himself emotionally to someone else for 3 yrs would do it for me. Again, so sorry.

He says she never did. Some.of her messages to him said things like he's lucky he gets to travel for work and she hopes to go on a plane someday. She asked him about airports and what a layover is. There's nothing else in the messages about meeting up, seeing each other, etc except the one time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sorry , OP. You sound so lovely and so blind- sided.

It’s also so weird to me that they would have a three- year text affair! I’d just want to know if she traveled to him in all that time as you said he did not?

It seems more like fan fiction ( I don’t really know about this other than a good friend said he lost his wife to that- in that every night she’d just be on an online board chatting with others about some character they all liked. They divorced)

Anyway, the cheating is awful but the lying and giving himself emotionally to someone else for 3 yrs would do it for me. Again, so sorry.

He says she never did. Some.of her messages to him said things like he's lucky he gets to travel for work and she hopes to go on a plane someday. She asked him about airports and what a layover is. There's nothing else in the messages about meeting up, seeing each other, etc except the one time.

Wtf? What grown woman had never heard of a layover?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sorry , OP. You sound so lovely and so blind- sided.

It’s also so weird to me that they would have a three- year text affair! I’d just want to know if she traveled to him in all that time as you said he did not?

It seems more like fan fiction ( I don’t really know about this other than a good friend said he lost his wife to that- in that every night she’d just be on an online board chatting with others about some character they all liked. They divorced)

Anyway, the cheating is awful but the lying and giving himself emotionally to someone else for 3 yrs would do it for me. Again, so sorry.

He says she never did. Some.of her messages to him said things like he's lucky he gets to travel for work and she hopes to go on a plane someday. She asked him about airports and what a layover is. There's nothing else in the messages about meeting up, seeing each other, etc except the one time.

Wtf? What grown woman had never heard of a layover?

Is she underage? Do you know anything about her? Married or single? Age? Name?

[Anonymous]

HPV vaccine advice is terrible- it is only effective for young kids before they become sexually active. Not effective after you have potentially acquired the infection through sex (which most people do, it just doest persist).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sorry , OP. You sound so lovely and so blind- sided.

It’s also so weird to me that they would have a three- year text affair! I’d just want to know if she traveled to him in all that time as you said he did not?

It seems more like fan fiction ( I don’t really know about this other than a good friend said he lost his wife to that- in that every night she’d just be on an online board chatting with others about some character they all liked. They divorced)

Anyway, the cheating is awful but the lying and giving himself emotionally to someone else for 3 yrs would do it for me. Again, so sorry.

He says she never did. Some.of her messages to him said things like he's lucky he gets to travel for work and she hopes to go on a plane someday. She asked him about airports and what a layover is. There's nothing else in the messages about meeting up, seeing each other, etc except the one time.

Huh? Who is this woman who has never been on a plane and how did they meet?