Husband refuses to help with night feedings

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a long thread but people aren't reading carefully and then unleash on OP. There is room to criticize her but a lot of the vitriol is not commensurate with her faults.

OP have the age of her child several times (a few posters kept re-asking). Her story hasn't changed that much. She's not asking for her husband to take over all night feedings: she's asking for a 10 pm and a 6-7 am feed, which sounds like a reasonable ask, especially if you can shift baby's feeding schedule by 15 mins or so one way or another from those times.

Maternity leave or not. The first 6 weeks are for her body to physically recover, which won't happen if she's not sleeping at least some time consecutively. "Go back to work" - she is, but saying she has no leg to stand on whatsoever because she's not back at work at 5 weeks "if she wants to sleep" is bullshit, especially since she won't get to sleep anyway because someone has to get up and feed a baby that young, working or not.

Napping when baby naps is hard and not always possible and when possible does require self-discipline, which by the way also erodes with sleep deprivation. Her husband does a lot and that is commendable; perhaps there is something they can compromise on together in their values if she brings her issue to him, on the points of e.g. less work -intensive cooking or more formula. Husband can also make adjustments to hai workout routine until maternity leave is done.

Sleep training before the maternity leave ends is insane. I've never heard anyone doing it before 4 months, most after 6. Anyway that doesn't solve OP's problem now.

OP needs to learn some flexibility, which btw she will probably gain by child #2 as many uptight moms do (in all their initial commitment to cloth diapers, organic homemade baby food, etc.). She also needs to trust her gut and not just religiously follow what ped and hospital pamphlets say to do, which don't appear to have been written by actual parents ever (eg, "put your baby in a crib drowsy but awake," lol.) Because 5 peds will give 5 slightly different pieces of advice on some things. Like amtbe it's ok for her kid to sleep 4 hours in a row sometimes.

She has shown some flexibility and is saying she will hire someone and try to be more flexible with her other activities.

My twins slept 12 hours at 12 weeks. And I never let them cry it out. I simply charted their feedings and extended the times little by little until they did a 7 pm and a 7 am and had dropped the others. I'm not alone.

You were also apparently blessed with good sleepers, which not every child is. Parents who had kids that didn’t STTN a for months or more, despite them trying to get them to, are also not alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a long thread but people aren't reading carefully and then unleash on OP. There is room to criticize her but a lot of the vitriol is not commensurate with her faults.

OP have the age of her child several times (a few posters kept re-asking). Her story hasn't changed that much. She's not asking for her husband to take over all night feedings: she's asking for a 10 pm and a 6-7 am feed, which sounds like a reasonable ask, especially if you can shift baby's feeding schedule by 15 mins or so one way or another from those times.

Maternity leave or not. The first 6 weeks are for her body to physically recover, which won't happen if she's not sleeping at least some time consecutively. "Go back to work" - she is, but saying she has no leg to stand on whatsoever because she's not back at work at 5 weeks "if she wants to sleep" is bullshit, especially since she won't get to sleep anyway because someone has to get up and feed a baby that young, working or not.

Napping when baby naps is hard and not always possible and when possible does require self-discipline, which by the way also erodes with sleep deprivation. Her husband does a lot and that is commendable; perhaps there is something they can compromise on together in their values if she brings her issue to him, on the points of e.g. less work -intensive cooking or more formula. Husband can also make adjustments to hai workout routine until maternity leave is done.

Sleep training before the maternity leave ends is insane. I've never heard anyone doing it before 4 months, most after 6. Anyway that doesn't solve OP's problem now.

OP needs to learn some flexibility, which btw she will probably gain by child #2 as many uptight moms do (in all their initial commitment to cloth diapers, organic homemade baby food, etc.). She also needs to trust her gut and not just religiously follow what ped and hospital pamphlets say to do, which don't appear to have been written by actual parents ever (eg, "put your baby in a crib drowsy but awake," lol.) Because 5 peds will give 5 slightly different pieces of advice on some things. Like amtbe it's ok for her kid to sleep 4 hours in a row sometimes.

She has shown some flexibility and is saying she will hire someone and try to be more flexible with her other activities.

My twins slept 12 hours at 12 weeks. And I never let them cry it out. I simply charted their feedings and extended the times little by little until they did a 7 pm and a 7 am and had dropped the others. I'm not alone.

You were also apparently blessed with good sleepers, which not every child is. Parents who had kids that didn’t STTN a for months or more, despite them trying to get them to, are also not alone.

Ok? My point was the PP said they had NEVER HEARD OF ANYONE WHO SLEEP TRAINED BEFORE 4 MONTHS. I said I did and I knew others who did as well. And we didn't leave our kids crying in their cribs either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a long thread but people aren't reading carefully and then unleash on OP. There is room to criticize her but a lot of the vitriol is not commensurate with her faults.

OP have the age of her child several times (a few posters kept re-asking). Her story hasn't changed that much. She's not asking for her husband to take over all night feedings: she's asking for a 10 pm and a 6-7 am feed, which sounds like a reasonable ask, especially if you can shift baby's feeding schedule by 15 mins or so one way or another from those times.

Maternity leave or not. The first 6 weeks are for her body to physically recover, which won't happen if she's not sleeping at least some time consecutively. "Go back to work" - she is, but saying she has no leg to stand on whatsoever because she's not back at work at 5 weeks "if she wants to sleep" is bullshit, especially since she won't get to sleep anyway because someone has to get up and feed a baby that young, working or not.

Napping when baby naps is hard and not always possible and when possible does require self-discipline, which by the way also erodes with sleep deprivation. Her husband does a lot and that is commendable; perhaps there is something they can compromise on together in their values if she brings her issue to him, on the points of e.g. less work -intensive cooking or more formula. Husband can also make adjustments to hai workout routine until maternity leave is done.

Sleep training before the maternity leave ends is insane. I've never heard anyone doing it before 4 months, most after 6. Anyway that doesn't solve OP's problem now.

OP needs to learn some flexibility, which btw she will probably gain by child #2 as many uptight moms do (in all their initial commitment to cloth diapers, organic homemade baby food, etc.). She also needs to trust her gut and not just religiously follow what ped and hospital pamphlets say to do, which don't appear to have been written by actual parents ever (eg, "put your baby in a crib drowsy but awake," lol.) Because 5 peds will give 5 slightly different pieces of advice on some things. Like amtbe it's ok for her kid to sleep 4 hours in a row sometimes.

She has shown some flexibility and is saying she will hire someone and try to be more flexible with her other activities.

I started sleep training at 2 weeks. By 6 weeks DS slept from 11 to 5ish.

LOL -if you think you trained a 2 week old to do anything…some kids are natural sleepers. I have twins -one naturally slept like that from early on. The other one required sleep trainin. It had nothing to do with my amazing parenting of a 3 week old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband just returned to work from paternity leave and I'm on maternity leave. He WFH most days out of the week, with some days at the office. Our newborn wakes up 2-3 times a night to eat. We had a system in place where we would take shifts - I went to bed after bedtime feeding and husband took first feeding to give me 4-5 hour uninterrupted stretch of sleep. I then handled the 1-2 additional wakings and he got up with him for the morning feed so I can sleep in. I know the mornings we need to be adjusted now that he is back to work, but he has since decided that he can no longer wake up a night with working. I think he is being unreasonable, but he thinks I should handle all of the night feeds since I will be home and able to nap. It's been very hard on me the last week doing it by myself and my husband won't budge. This has caused tension between us this past week that blew up into a big fight this past weekend. I'm very mad at him. Help me.

When I was on maternity leave and DH returned to work, I did ALL night feedings. WTH is wrong with you? That's the whole point of maternity leave - you don't have to work because you aren't sleeping doing night feedings. If you want to sleep, go back to work.

[phone]

Agree. Being on maternity leave with ONE ‘easy’ newborn isn’t that hard. There is plenty of time in the day to rest, lounge, cuddle, and recover from child birth. Plus you are 5 weeks out already. This shouldn’t be that big of an issue

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband just returned to work from paternity leave and I'm on maternity leave. He WFH most days out of the week, with some days at the office. Our newborn wakes up 2-3 times a night to eat. We had a system in place where we would take shifts - I went to bed after bedtime feeding and husband took first feeding to give me 4-5 hour uninterrupted stretch of sleep. I then handled the 1-2 additional wakings and he got up with him for the morning feed so I can sleep in. I know the mornings we need to be adjusted now that he is back to work, but he has since decided that he can no longer wake up a night with working. I think he is being unreasonable, but he thinks I should handle all of the night feeds since I will be home and able to nap. It's been very hard on me the last week doing it by myself and my husband won't budge. This has caused tension between us this past week that blew up into a big fight this past weekend. I'm very mad at him. Help me.

When I was on maternity leave and DH returned to work, I did ALL night feedings. WTH is wrong with you? That's the whole point of maternity leave - you don't have to work because you aren't sleeping doing night feedings. If you want to sleep, go back to work.

[phone]

Isn’t the point of maternity leave to physically recover from childbirth? I’m in agreement with you guys that OP should just take the night feeds, I certainly did when my husband went back to work. But I definitely didn’t view maternity leave as some lavish vacation (I only had 6 weeks, so maybe it’s different if you get longer?)

Agree with the previous PPs. But to your point, yes maternity leave is about recovery. Maternity leave for ONE newborn leaves you a lot of down time. They pretty much sleep and nurse all day while you plant yourself on a couch and feed them. Sure there is some light pickup and meal prep involved, but c’mon, it isn’t physically hard work. The hardest part is the wakings and the physical exhaustion that constant nursing and baby holding brings. But it isn’t like OP is running after two other kids as well (note to self OP, this is an easy as it will get for you)

ALL BABIES DO NOT DO THIS.

DP.

I will take 9 hours of office work and 8 hours of night sleep over the sleeplessness in the newborn phase.

PP's comment downplays just how hard that "hardest part" is.

I almost had a psychological breakdown during that phase due to lack of sleep. DH and I were supposed to split the night time feeding, but I would go psycho every time the baby cried, and seize the baby from him. Then I would be sleep deprived and then go crazy. The cycle just kept going.

OP said her baby eats 2-3 times a night and goes right back to sleep. That shouldn’t make anyone psycho. If she said baby has reflux, takes 30 min to eat then screams for another 30 min while needing to be rocked, bounced, held upright or else projectile vomits then might go back to sleep, only be be up again in another hour- then ok. That is crazy inducing. But that isn’t her case

[Anonymous]

i think your husband is a jerk, too. he could easily help out with either the last feeding before he goes to bed or the first in the morning. all this bs about the gym etc. sounds like he doesn't think his life should be impacted by the baby at all. if this is what he thinks now, it will get worse, i promise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i think your husband is a jerk, too. he could easily help out with either the last feeding before he goes to bed or the first in the morning. all this bs about the gym etc. sounds like he doesn't think his life should be impacted by the baby at all. if this is what he thinks now, it will get worse, i promise.

+1. If he remains this inflexible, OP should *not* have any more children with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a long thread but people aren't reading carefully and then unleash on OP. There is room to criticize her but a lot of the vitriol is not commensurate with her faults.

OP have the age of her child several times (a few posters kept re-asking). Her story hasn't changed that much. She's not asking for her husband to take over all night feedings: she's asking for a 10 pm and a 6-7 am feed, which sounds like a reasonable ask, especially if you can shift baby's feeding schedule by 15 mins or so one way or another from those times.

Maternity leave or not. The first 6 weeks are for her body to physically recover, which won't happen if she's not sleeping at least some time consecutively. "Go back to work" - she is, but saying she has no leg to stand on whatsoever because she's not back at work at 5 weeks "if she wants to sleep" is bullshit, especially since she won't get to sleep anyway because someone has to get up and feed a baby that young, working or not.

Napping when baby naps is hard and not always possible and when possible does require self-discipline, which by the way also erodes with sleep deprivation. Her husband does a lot and that is commendable; perhaps there is something they can compromise on together in their values if she brings her issue to him, on the points of e.g. less work -intensive cooking or more formula. Husband can also make adjustments to hai workout routine until maternity leave is done.

Sleep training before the maternity leave ends is insane. I've never heard anyone doing it before 4 months, most after 6. Anyway that doesn't solve OP's problem now.

OP needs to learn some flexibility, which btw she will probably gain by child #2 as many uptight moms do (in all their initial commitment to cloth diapers, organic homemade baby food, etc.). She also needs to trust her gut and not just religiously follow what ped and hospital pamphlets say to do, which don't appear to have been written by actual parents ever (eg, "put your baby in a crib drowsy but awake," lol.) Because 5 peds will give 5 slightly different pieces of advice on some things. Like amtbe it's ok for her kid to sleep 4 hours in a row sometimes.

She has shown some flexibility and is saying she will hire someone and try to be more flexible with her other activities.

I started sleep training at 2 weeks. By 6 weeks DS slept from 11 to 5ish.

LOL -if you think you trained a 2 week old to do anything…some kids are natural sleepers. I have twins -one naturally slept like that from early on. The other one required sleep trainin. It had nothing to do with my amazing parenting of a 3 week old.

Lol yourself. I was there and I know it had an impact. He did not sleep "naturally." He had colic and reflux.

I was the responding to the idea you can't sleep train early. You certainly can. It won't work with every baby, but my child responded really well to the schedules in The Contented Little Baby Book by Gina Ford.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a long thread but people aren't reading carefully and then unleash on OP. There is room to criticize her but a lot of the vitriol is not commensurate with her faults.

OP have the age of her child several times (a few posters kept re-asking). Her story hasn't changed that much. She's not asking for her husband to take over all night feedings: she's asking for a 10 pm and a 6-7 am feed, which sounds like a reasonable ask, especially if you can shift baby's feeding schedule by 15 mins or so one way or another from those times.

Maternity leave or not. The first 6 weeks are for her body to physically recover, which won't happen if she's not sleeping at least some time consecutively. "Go back to work" - she is, but saying she has no leg to stand on whatsoever because she's not back at work at 5 weeks "if she wants to sleep" is bullshit, especially since she won't get to sleep anyway because someone has to get up and feed a baby that young, working or not.

Napping when baby naps is hard and not always possible and when possible does require self-discipline, which by the way also erodes with sleep deprivation. Her husband does a lot and that is commendable; perhaps there is something they can compromise on together in their values if she brings her issue to him, on the points of e.g. less work -intensive cooking or more formula. Husband can also make adjustments to hai workout routine until maternity leave is done.

Sleep training before the maternity leave ends is insane. I've never heard anyone doing it before 4 months, most after 6. Anyway that doesn't solve OP's problem now.

OP needs to learn some flexibility, which btw she will probably gain by child #2 as many uptight moms do (in all their initial commitment to cloth diapers, organic homemade baby food, etc.). She also needs to trust her gut and not just religiously follow what ped and hospital pamphlets say to do, which don't appear to have been written by actual parents ever (eg, "put your baby in a crib drowsy but awake," lol.) Because 5 peds will give 5 slightly different pieces of advice on some things. Like amtbe it's ok for her kid to sleep 4 hours in a row sometimes.

She has shown some flexibility and is saying she will hire someone and try to be more flexible with her other activities.

I started sleep training at 2 weeks. By 6 weeks DS slept from 11 to 5ish.

LOL -if you think you trained a 2 week old to do anything…some kids are natural sleepers. I have twins -one naturally slept like that from early on. The other one required sleep trainin. It had nothing to do with my amazing parenting of a 3 week old.

Lol yourself. I was there and I know it had an impact. He did not sleep "naturally." He had colic and reflux.

I was the responding to the idea you can't sleep train early. You certainly can. It won't work with every baby, but my child responded really well to the schedules in The Contented Little Baby Book by Gina Ford.

Colicky babies don’t respond to scheduling. That’s part of what is so exhausting about them. They aren’t sleeping because they are uncomfortable. It has nothing to do with your diaper and feed schematic. If your young infant was able to be scheduled, you are overstating the supposed colic your baby had.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband just returned to work from paternity leave and I'm on maternity leave. He WFH most days out of the week, with some days at the office. Our newborn wakes up 2-3 times a night to eat. We had a system in place where we would take shifts - I went to bed after bedtime feeding and husband took first feeding to give me 4-5 hour uninterrupted stretch of sleep. I then handled the 1-2 additional wakings and he got up with him for the morning feed so I can sleep in. I know the mornings we need to be adjusted now that he is back to work, but he has since decided that he can no longer wake up a night with working. I think he is being unreasonable, but he thinks I should handle all of the night feeds since I will be home and able to nap. It's been very hard on me the last week doing it by myself and my husband won't budge. This has caused tension between us this past week that blew up into a big fight this past weekend. I'm very mad at him. Help me.

When I was on maternity leave and DH returned to work, I did ALL night feedings. WTH is wrong with you? That's the whole point of maternity leave - you don't have to work because you aren't sleeping doing night feedings. If you want to sleep, go back to work.

This is a weird take to me. Only if you work are you allowed sleep? DH didnt grow a human for 9 months. DH didnt deplete many essential vitamins and minerals- even with supplementation, the body is depleted. DH doesnt have huge hormonal swings- OP have you had your night sweats yet? DH isnt breastfeeding, pumping, or using up any of the calories/energy that those require. DH isnt healing from childbirth.

Maternity leave is NOT for night feeds. Thats ridiculous. Some babies sleep 5-6 hours from week 4. Should those women not get maternity leave?

Oh stop. Maternity leave, beyond 3 weeks to recover from child birth, is medical leave because new moms ARE TIRED AS F--.

And FMLA is a general 12 to 16 week leave law. There's no law adjusting the leave period based on a baby's sleep habits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i think your husband is a jerk, too. he could easily help out with either the last feeding before he goes to bed or the first in the morning. all this bs about the gym etc. sounds like he doesn't think his life should be impacted by the baby at all. if this is what he thinks now, it will get worse, i promise.

+1. If he remains this inflexible, OP should *not* have any more children with him.

I mean DH isn’t likely to want to have more kids with a woman who is home on leave but wants the working spouse up at night taking care of the baby. At least I wouldn’t. She sounds like a snowflake. Actually she sounds jealous. She should return to work asap and hire a night nanny because she seems unhappy home on leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully the every two hour feeds will stretch out soon. Can you start stretching them out a little and then giving more at a feed?

OP here. I mainly breastfeed and both the pediatrician and lactation consultant said to feed every 2-3 hours. We have had issues with low supply ( not terrible) and minor weight gain issues. The pediatrician said to not go more than 3 hours without feeding him, day or night.

I don’t understand how your husband could feed overnight anyway. What am I missing? If you are doing bottle feeds at night it will impact your supply.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a long thread but people aren't reading carefully and then unleash on OP. There is room to criticize her but a lot of the vitriol is not commensurate with her faults.

OP have the age of her child several times (a few posters kept re-asking). Her story hasn't changed that much. She's not asking for her husband to take over all night feedings: she's asking for a 10 pm and a 6-7 am feed, which sounds like a reasonable ask, especially if you can shift baby's feeding schedule by 15 mins or so one way or another from those times.

Maternity leave or not. The first 6 weeks are for her body to physically recover, which won't happen if she's not sleeping at least some time consecutively. "Go back to work" - she is, but saying she has no leg to stand on whatsoever because she's not back at work at 5 weeks "if she wants to sleep" is bullshit, especially since she won't get to sleep anyway because someone has to get up and feed a baby that young, working or not.

Napping when baby naps is hard and not always possible and when possible does require self-discipline, which by the way also erodes with sleep deprivation. Her husband does a lot and that is commendable; perhaps there is something they can compromise on together in their values if she brings her issue to him, on the points of e.g. less work -intensive cooking or more formula. Husband can also make adjustments to hai workout routine until maternity leave is done.

Sleep training before the maternity leave ends is insane. I've never heard anyone doing it before 4 months, most after 6. Anyway that doesn't solve OP's problem now.

OP needs to learn some flexibility, which btw she will probably gain by child #2 as many uptight moms do (in all their initial commitment to cloth diapers, organic homemade baby food, etc.). She also needs to trust her gut and not just religiously follow what ped and hospital pamphlets say to do, which don't appear to have been written by actual parents ever (eg, "put your baby in a crib drowsy but awake," lol.) Because 5 peds will give 5 slightly different pieces of advice on some things. Like amtbe it's ok for her kid to sleep 4 hours in a row sometimes.

She has shown some flexibility and is saying she will hire someone and try to be more flexible with her other activities.

I started sleep training at 2 weeks. By 6 weeks DS slept from 11 to 5ish.

LOL -if you think you trained a 2 week old to do anything…some kids are natural sleepers. I have twins -one naturally slept like that from early on. The other one required sleep trainin. It had nothing to do with my amazing parenting of a 3 week old.

Lol yourself. I was there and I know it had an impact. He did not sleep "naturally." He had colic and reflux.

I was the responding to the idea you can't sleep train early. You certainly can. It won't work with every baby, but my child responded really well to the schedules in The Contented Little Baby Book by Gina Ford.

Sleep training a 2 week old with reflux is abuse. Kids with reflux have more physical pain and breathing problems when their feeding is spaced out. What did is no different or better than if you had hit him for waking you up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a long thread but people aren't reading carefully and then unleash on OP. There is room to criticize her but a lot of the vitriol is not commensurate with her faults.

OP have the age of her child several times (a few posters kept re-asking). Her story hasn't changed that much. She's not asking for her husband to take over all night feedings: she's asking for a 10 pm and a 6-7 am feed, which sounds like a reasonable ask, especially if you can shift baby's feeding schedule by 15 mins or so one way or another from those times.

Maternity leave or not. The first 6 weeks are for her body to physically recover, which won't happen if she's not sleeping at least some time consecutively. "Go back to work" - she is, but saying she has no leg to stand on whatsoever because she's not back at work at 5 weeks "if she wants to sleep" is bullshit, especially since she won't get to sleep anyway because someone has to get up and feed a baby that young, working or not.

Napping when baby naps is hard and not always possible and when possible does require self-discipline, which by the way also erodes with sleep deprivation. Her husband does a lot and that is commendable; perhaps there is something they can compromise on together in their values if she brings her issue to him, on the points of e.g. less work -intensive cooking or more formula. Husband can also make adjustments to hai workout routine until maternity leave is done.

Sleep training before the maternity leave ends is insane. I've never heard anyone doing it before 4 months, most after 6. Anyway that doesn't solve OP's problem now.

OP needs to learn some flexibility, which btw she will probably gain by child #2 as many uptight moms do (in all their initial commitment to cloth diapers, organic homemade baby food, etc.). She also needs to trust her gut and not just religiously follow what ped and hospital pamphlets say to do, which don't appear to have been written by actual parents ever (eg, "put your baby in a crib drowsy but awake," lol.) Because 5 peds will give 5 slightly different pieces of advice on some things. Like amtbe it's ok for her kid to sleep 4 hours in a row sometimes.

She has shown some flexibility and is saying she will hire someone and try to be more flexible with her other activities.

I started sleep training at 2 weeks. By 6 weeks DS slept from 11 to 5ish.

LOL -if you think you trained a 2 week old to do anything…some kids are natural sleepers. I have twins -one naturally slept like that from early on. The other one required sleep trainin. It had nothing to do with my amazing parenting of a 3 week old.

Lol yourself. I was there and I know it had an impact. He did not sleep "naturally." He had colic and reflux.

I was the responding to the idea you can't sleep train early. You certainly can. It won't work with every baby, but my child responded really well to the schedules in The Contented Little Baby Book by Gina Ford.

Sleep training a 2 week old with reflux is abuse. Kids with reflux have more physical pain and breathing problems when their feeding is spaced out. What did is no different or better than if you had hit him for waking you up.

+1. I’ve had two reflux babies. You only do small feeds more periodically.

[Anonymous]

I did a feeding around 8 and went to bed, then husband was in charge of the baby, as needed, until midnight. I took shifts after that. He was tired for work, of course, but not unreasonably so. And i got a few hours sleep at one time. I think it's really unhealthy (mentally and physically) for anyone to only get sleep every night in like 1.5 hour chunks (2 hour feedings plus time to fall back asleep). And honestly I maybe got in one short nap during the day, but between pumping, other chores, the unpredictability of babies, etc. it is hard to get in more than that.