Reply to Husband refuses to help with night feedings

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's a long thread but people aren't reading carefully and then unleash on OP. There is room to criticize her but a lot of the vitriol is not commensurate with her faults.

OP have the age of her child several times (a few posters kept re-asking). Her story hasn't changed that much. She's not asking for her husband to take over all night feedings: she's asking for a 10 pm and a 6-7 am feed, which sounds like a reasonable ask, especially if you can shift baby's feeding schedule by 15 mins or so one way or another from those times.

Maternity leave or not. The first 6 weeks are for her body to physically recover, which won't happen if she's not sleeping at least some time consecutively. "Go back to work" - she is,  but saying she has no leg to stand on whatsoever because she's not back at work at 5 weeks "if she wants to sleep" is bullshit, especially since she won't get to sleep anyway because someone has to get up and feed a baby that young, working or not.

Napping when baby naps is hard and not always possible and when possible does require self-discipline, which by the way also erodes with sleep deprivation. Her husband does a lot and that is commendable; perhaps there is something they can compromise on together in their values if she brings her issue to him, on the points of e.g. less work -intensive cooking or more formula. Husband can also make adjustments to hai workout routine until maternity leave is done.

Sleep training before the maternity leave ends is insane. I've never heard anyone doing it before 4 months, most after 6. Anyway that doesn't solve OP's problem now.

OP needs to learn some flexibility, which btw she will probably gain by child #2 as many uptight moms do (in all their initial commitment to cloth diapers, organic homemade baby food, etc.). She also needs to trust her gut and not just religiously follow what ped and hospital pamphlets say to do, which don't appear to have been written by actual parents ever (eg, "put your baby in a crib drowsy but awake," lol.) Because 5 peds will give 5 slightly different pieces of advice on some things. Like amtbe it's ok for her kid to sleep 4 hours in a row sometimes.

She has shown some flexibility and is saying she will hire someone and try to be more flexible with her other activities.

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I started sleep training at 2 weeks. By 6 weeks DS slept from 11 to 5ish.

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LOL -if you think you trained a 2 week old to do anything…some kids are natural sleepers. I have twins -one naturally slept like that from early on. The other one required sleep trainin. It had nothing to do with my amazing parenting of a 3 week old.[/quote]

Lol yourself. I was there and I know it had an impact. He did not sleep "naturally." He had colic and reflux.

I was the responding to the idea you can't sleep train early. You certainly can. It won't work with every baby, but my child responded really well to the schedules in  The Contented Little Baby Book by Gina Ford.[/quote]

Sleep training a 2 week old with reflux is abuse.  Kids with reflux have more physical pain and breathing problems when their feeding is spaced out.  What did is no different or better than if you had hit him for waking you up.[/quote]

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