Reply to Husband refuses to help with night feedings

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's a long thread but people aren't reading carefully and then unleash on OP. There is room to criticize her but a lot of the vitriol is not commensurate with her faults.

OP have the age of her child several times (a few posters kept re-asking). Her story hasn't changed that much. She's not asking for her husband to take over all night feedings: she's asking for a 10 pm and a 6-7 am feed, which sounds like a reasonable ask, especially if you can shift baby's feeding schedule by 15 mins or so one way or another from those times.

Maternity leave or not. The first 6 weeks are for her body to physically recover, which won't happen if she's not sleeping at least some time consecutively. "Go back to work" - she is,  but saying she has no leg to stand on whatsoever because she's not back at work at 5 weeks "if she wants to sleep" is bullshit, especially since she won't get to sleep anyway because someone has to get up and feed a baby that young, working or not.

Napping when baby naps is hard and not always possible and when possible does require self-discipline, which by the way also erodes with sleep deprivation. Her husband does a lot and that is commendable; perhaps there is something they can compromise on together in their values if she brings her issue to him, on the points of e.g. less work -intensive cooking or more formula. Husband can also make adjustments to hai workout routine until maternity leave is done.

[b]Sleep training before the maternity leave ends is insane. I've never heard anyone doing it before 4 months,[/b] most after 6. Anyway that doesn't solve OP's problem now.

OP needs to learn some flexibility, which btw she will probably gain by child #2 as many uptight moms do (in all their initial commitment to cloth diapers, organic homemade baby food, etc.). She also needs to trust her gut and not just religiously follow what ped and hospital pamphlets say to do, which don't appear to have been written by actual parents ever (eg, "put your baby in a crib drowsy but awake," lol.) Because 5 peds will give 5 slightly different pieces of advice on some things. Like amtbe it's ok for her kid to sleep 4 hours in a row sometimes.

She has shown some flexibility and is saying she will hire someone and try to be more flexible with her other activities.

[/quote]

My twins slept 12 hours at 12 weeks. And I never let them cry it out. I simply charted their feedings and extended the times little by little until they did a 7 pm and a 7 am and had dropped the others. I'm not alone. [/quote]

You were also apparently blessed with good sleepers, which not every child is. Parents who had kids that didn’t STTN a for months or more, despite them trying to get them to,  are also not alone. [/quote]

Ok? My point was the PP said they had NEVER HEARD OF ANYONE WHO SLEEP TRAINED BEFORE 4 MONTHS. I said I did and I knew others who did as well. And we didn't leave our kids crying in their cribs either. [/quote]

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