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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Husband refuses to help with night feedings "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband just returned to work from paternity leave and I'm on maternity leave. He WFH most days out of the week, with some days at the office. Our newborn wakes up 2-3 times a night to eat. We had a system in place where we would take shifts - I went to bed after bedtime feeding and husband took first feeding to give me 4-5 hour uninterrupted stretch of sleep. I then handled the 1-2 additional wakings and he got up with him for the morning feed so I can sleep in. I know the mornings we need to be adjusted now that he is back to work, but he has since decided that he can no longer wake up a night with working. I think he is being unreasonable, but he thinks I should handle all of the night feeds since I will be home and able to nap. It's been very hard on me the last week doing it by myself and my husband won't budge. This has caused tension between us this past week that blew up into a big fight this past weekend. I'm very mad at him. Help me. [/quote] When I was on maternity leave and DH returned to work, I did ALL night feedings. WTH is wrong with you? That's the whole point of maternity leave - you don't have to work because you aren't sleeping doing night feedings. If you want to sleep, go back to work. [/quote] +10000000[/quote] Isn’t the point of maternity leave to physically recover from childbirth? I’m in agreement with you guys that OP should just take the night feeds, I certainly did when my husband went back to work. But I definitely didn’t view maternity leave as some lavish vacation (I only had 6 weeks, so maybe it’s different if you get longer?)[/quote] [b] Agree with the previous PPs. But to your point, yes maternity leave is about recovery. Maternity leave for ONE newborn leaves you a lot of down time. They pretty much sleep and nurse all day while you plant yourself on a couch and feed them. S[/b]ure there is some light pickup and meal prep involved, but c’mon, it isn’t physically hard work. The hardest part is the wakings and the physical exhaustion that constant nursing and baby holding brings. But it isn’t like OP is running after two other kids as well (note to self OP, this is an easy as it will get for you)[/quote] ALL BABIES DO NOT DO THIS. [/quote] DP. I will take 9 hours of office work and 8 hours of night sleep over the sleeplessness in the newborn phase. PP's comment downplays just how hard that "hardest part" is. I almost had a psychological breakdown during that phase due to lack of sleep. DH and I were supposed to split the night time feeding, but I would go psycho every time the baby cried, and seize the baby from him. Then I would be sleep deprived and then go crazy. The cycle just kept going. [/quote] OP said her baby eats 2-3 times a night and goes right back to sleep. That shouldn’t make anyone psycho. If she said baby has reflux, takes 30 min to eat then screams for another 30 min while needing to be rocked, bounced, held upright or else projectile vomits then might go back to sleep, only be be up again in another hour- then ok. That is crazy inducing. But that isn’t her case [/quote]
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