What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You all don't see the difference in ragging on religions and making fun of religions in general, and the f-ing Holocaust?? There's a difference. "Jew jokes" and "Jesus jokes" can still be funny, but there is absolutely nothing funny about the Holocaust. There just isn't. OK, yes, I'm a Debbie downer, but this is insane that it has to be said at all.

You cannot control others’ sense of humor. If they think it’s funny, scolding them is not going to stop them from finding it amusing.

My mom always says “you either laugh or you cry”. I choose to laugh.
Signed,
Someone with relatives who survived the Holocaust.

Uh, you get that some people have relatives who DIDN’T survive, who may feel differently?

So because of that no one can tell the jokes? Even if some find them funny?

There are different kinds of humor. Jokes about the Holocaust or some other very serious event aren't haha funny jokes, they are usually examples of very dry, dark wit. You have to be a dry wit person with a twisted sense of humor to get them. They definitely are not for everyone. People who work in prisons or psych wards also often have similar very dark, dry wit jokes that you only tell to other people who will get it.

So who "gets" Holocaust jokes? Just curious.

The Ricky Gervais of the world. Other people with dark, witty, dry senses of humor. It is the same with jokes about 9/11 or anything that is horrific. It isn't the event that is funny, it is the wittiness of the joke and the ability of the joke teller to make it comedic.

With so much build up, this joke better be amazing ... if there even is a joke.

To the PPs. In my family, we have an uncle. His whole immediate family was rounded up and they were taken to Auschwitz. They were separated. He never saw the rest of his family again. His brother? He was shot in front of him. He survived. He's so traumatized that, all these years later and writing a book about it, he will never get over it. He was the last man/kid standing in his family.

Wanna tell this joke to my uncle? Do you think he would find it funny? If you can't tell it to his face, don't tell this "joke." And F you for thinking it would be OK to tell it behind his back.

What is honestly the matter with you people? THERE IS NOTHING G-DAMN FUNNY ABOUT THE HOLOCAUST. FULL F-ING STOP. I have a sense of humor, but I'm a human being who finds all of you defending this absolutely abhorrent.

It gotta be exhausting being around you. So much drama

+1. Nobody’s going to tell this joke to your uncle, unless your 90-something uncle is on DCUM. Are we good now?

Maybe you’re thrown by the “joke” moniker. But it’s really an existential statement that you apparently didn’t understand..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You all don't see the difference in ragging on religions and making fun of religions in general, and the f-ing Holocaust?? There's a difference. "Jew jokes" and "Jesus jokes" can still be funny, but there is absolutely nothing funny about the Holocaust. There just isn't. OK, yes, I'm a Debbie downer, but this is insane that it has to be said at all.

You cannot control others’ sense of humor. If they think it’s funny, scolding them is not going to stop them from finding it amusing.

My mom always says “you either laugh or you cry”. I choose to laugh.
Signed,
Someone with relatives who survived the Holocaust.

Uh, you get that some people have relatives who DIDN’T survive, who may feel differently?

So because of that no one can tell the jokes? Even if some find them funny?

There are different kinds of humor. Jokes about the Holocaust or some other very serious event aren't haha funny jokes, they are usually examples of very dry, dark wit. You have to be a dry wit person with a twisted sense of humor to get them. They definitely are not for everyone. People who work in prisons or psych wards also often have similar very dark, dry wit jokes that you only tell to other people who will get it.

So who "gets" Holocaust jokes? Just curious.

The Ricky Gervais of the world. Other people with dark, witty, dry senses of humor. It is the same with jokes about 9/11 or anything that is horrific. It isn't the event that is funny, it is the wittiness of the joke and the ability of the joke teller to make it comedic.

With so much build up, this joke better be amazing ... if there even is a joke.

To the PPs. In my family, we have an uncle. His whole immediate family was rounded up and they were taken to Auschwitz. They were separated. He never saw the rest of his family again. His brother? He was shot in front of him. He survived. He's so traumatized that, all these years later and writing a book about it, he will never get over it. He was the last man/kid standing in his family.

Wanna tell this joke to my uncle? Do you think he would find it funny? If you can't tell it to his face, don't tell this "joke." And F you for thinking it would be OK to tell it behind his back.

What is honestly the matter with you people? THERE IS NOTHING G-DAMN FUNNY ABOUT THE HOLOCAUST. FULL F-ING STOP. I have a sense of humor, but I'm a human being who finds all of you defending this absolutely abhorrent.

It gotta be exhausting being around you. So much drama

+1. Nobody’s going to tell this joke to your uncle, unless your 90-something uncle is on DCUM. Are we good now?

Maybe you’re thrown by the “joke” moniker. But it’s really an existential statement that you apparently didn’t understand..

So now it’s the “what’s the best existential statement you ever heard” thread?

[Anonymous]

I’m surprised there aren’t more off color jokes here.

I.e. why was hellen Keller’s leg yellow?
Her dog was blind too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised there aren’t more off color jokes here.

I.e. why was hellen Keller’s leg yellow?
Her dog was blind too.

What was Helen Keller's favorite color?

Corduroy.

[Anonymous]

What a strange day this has been. First I found a hat full of money. Then I was chased by an angry man with a guitar.

[Anonymous]

Did you hear the one about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac?


He stayed up all night contemplating whether or not there really is a dog.

[Anonymous]

Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing.

I tried to catch fog yesterday, mist.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
Aye Matey.

What’s the difference between a well-dressed man on a bike and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle?
Attire.

I came up with a new word yesterday.
Plagiarism.

I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster.
If anything, it made him more sluggish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is pointless.

Millennials and snowflakes have murdered humor. It's a dead medium.


Why don't you see comedians playing colleges anymore? Because they can't. Because we have a generation of younger people who have been trained their entire lives to be offended about something.

OR it’s just offensive ? ??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd tell you a joke about Jonestown, but the punchline is too long.

Now THAT’S funny.

+1
Brutal!

[Anonymous]

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Vote Blue!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
45 pounds.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
45 minutes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:What did the Chinese Janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

Supplies!

Seriously? Racist and not even remotely funny.

Dude, I am chinese, and that one had me literally LOL!

Lol, +1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is pointless.

Millennials and snowflakes have murdered humor. It's a dead medium.


Why don't you see comedians playing colleges anymore? Because they can't. Because we have a generation of younger people who have been trained their entire lives to be offended about something.

OR it’s just offensive ? ??

People who are offended should not go to these shows. But they shouldn’t be shut down completely by the thought police. It’s pathetic, frankly. Some people with an intact sense of humor get a good laugh.

*cue “your racism/offesiveness is pathetic”...blah blah blah

[Anonymous]

Not the funniest joke ever, but pretty clever. Its a Sarah Silverman one.

"When I was in high school, I dated my dad's best friend. (crowd disapproves)

Its kind of embarassing.... Your dad having a 14 year old best friend."

Hilarious because its clean too. haha.

[Anonymous]

How do you get ten dead babies into a jar?

A blender.

How do you get ten dead babies out of a jar?

Tostitos.