What’s the best joke you’ve ever heard?

[Anonymous]

What’s the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub?

The first one has hope in her soul. The second has soap in her hole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a bar...


The rabbit turns to the other two and says, "I think I'm a typo."

This is worth repeating!

It's actually they walk in to donate blood.....

Much better

Except that rabbit also works as a typo for rabbi....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a bar...


The rabbit turns to the other two and says, "I think I'm a typo."

This is worth repeating!

It's actually they walk in to donate blood.....

Much better

Except that rabbit also works as a typo for rabbi....

yes, that's the main joke. Blood type is just an added layer.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:A holocaust joke - I am careful who I repeat it to.

There is No. Such. Thing.
WTAF is the matter with you.

See? Now, you, YOU, are a perfect example of someone I would never tell it to. But I am jewish, and it was told to me by a jewish person, and I and another jewish friend thought it was hysterically funny. Obviously you wouldn't. That's fine. Everyone has different taste.

Well, tell us.

[Anonymous]

I know a Swede who loved his wife so much he almost told her.

[Anonymous]

Why is a schoolhouse red?
It has 6 periods a day.

What does an old lady smell like?
Depends.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts.

Why did Michael Jackson go to Walmart?
He heard boys' pants were half off.

Does anybody remember Mommy Mommy jokes?

"Mommy Mommy, I don't want to visit Grandma." "Shut up and keep digging!"
"Mommy Mommy, I hate my baby brother's guts." "Shut up and keep eating!"
"Mommy Mommy, I don't like spaghetti." "Shut up or I'll pull the veins out of your other leg!"
"Mommy Mommy, can I lick the bowl?" "Shut up and flush the toilet!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a Swede who loved his wife so much he almost told her.

Please stop these racist jokes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a Swede who loved his wife so much he almost told her.

Please stop these racist jokes

Please stop telling people what to do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did the Chinese Janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

Supplies!

Seriously? Racist and not even remotely funny.

Dude, I am chinese, and that one had me literally LOL!

Never heard that joke with the ancestry of the janitor included before. It works w/o it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An older woman wanted to surprise her husband so when he opened the front door she was on the steps in a crotchless supergirl outfit and she chirped "super sex"!

Her husband said "I'll take the soup."

Now THATS funny!

[Anonymous]

Standing in the park I wondered, why does a frisbee appear bigger the closer it gets? And then it hit me.

[Anonymous]

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?


All they do is “Bach, Bach, Bach...”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Standing in the park I wondered, why does a frisbee appear bigger the closer it gets? And then it hit me.

not bad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did the Chinese Janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

Supplies!

Seriously? Racist and not even remotely funny.

Dude, I am chinese, and that one had me literally LOL!

Never heard that joke with the ancestry of the janitor included before. It works w/o it.

It doesn't. The whole point of the joke is that he is saying Surprise but due to the accent, it comes out as supplies.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You all don't see the difference in ragging on religions and making fun of religions in general, and the f-ing Holocaust?? There's a difference. "Jew jokes" and "Jesus jokes" can still be funny, but there is absolutely nothing funny about the Holocaust. There just isn't. OK, yes, I'm a Debbie downer, but this is insane that it has to be said at all.

You cannot control others’ sense of humor. If they think it’s funny, scolding them is not going to stop them from finding it amusing.

My mom always says “you either laugh or you cry”. I choose to laugh.
Signed,
Someone with relatives who survived the Holocaust.

Uh, you get that some people have relatives who DIDN’T survive, who may feel differently?

So because of that no one can tell the jokes? Even if some find them funny?

There are different kinds of humor. Jokes about the Holocaust or some other very serious event aren't haha funny jokes, they are usually examples of very dry, dark wit. You have to be a dry wit person with a twisted sense of humor to get them. They definitely are not for everyone. People who work in prisons or psych wards also often have similar very dark, dry wit jokes that you only tell to other people who will get it.

So who "gets" Holocaust jokes? Just curious.

The Ricky Gervais of the world. Other people with dark, witty, dry senses of humor. It is the same with jokes about 9/11 or anything that is horrific. It isn't the event that is funny, it is the wittiness of the joke and the ability of the joke teller to make it comedic.

With so much build up, this joke better be amazing ... if there even is a joke.

To the PPs. In my family, we have an uncle. His whole immediate family was rounded up and they were taken to Auschwitz. They were separated. He never saw the rest of his family again. His brother? He was shot in front of him. He survived. He's so traumatized that, all these years later and writing a book about it, he will never get over it. He was the last man/kid standing in his family.

Wanna tell this joke to my uncle? Do you think he would find it funny? If you can't tell it to his face, don't tell this "joke." And F you for thinking it would be OK to tell it behind his back.

What is honestly the matter with you people? THERE IS NOTHING G-DAMN FUNNY ABOUT THE HOLOCAUST. FULL F-ING STOP. I have a sense of humor, but I'm a human being who finds all of you defending this absolutely abhorrent.

It gotta be exhausting being around you. So much drama