What do you say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A baby surrendered for adoption goes to a home filled with love and with a person or people who have been longing for them. That's not a sad ending. It is the beginning of a happy story.

Open your mind.

The woman wants to keep her child, what part of that statement do you not comprehend PP. Are you saying it’s not HER choice? Who is to say this child is going to have an unhappy ending with his birth mom. Open your mind, besides OP has no say in whether that woman place the child up for adoption, or not. Not her decision.

The level of denial required to keep a crypto pregnancy a mystery until 32 weeks is not an indicator of an emotionally healthy person. Sure she wants to keep it. It's hers and she thinks it will make up for whatever was lacking in the foo she hasn't told. Or she planned it all along. Either way not a good partner. Or guaranteed good mom.

Crazy moms are crazymaking. Ask me how I know...

Eff you. Plenty of healthy people have cryptic pregnancies. My cousin is an RN and did not know she was pregnant until over 30 weeks. She has an unusually placed uterus and never once felt the fetus kick. She is slightly overweight and never looked pregnant. She also continued to bleed slightly through the pregnancy and since she was never regular before then, she didn’t notice any symptoms that would be concerning.

She and her husband were married and had no idea. Interestingly each of her 3 subsequent pregnancies she had more pronounced symptoms, like her boobs swelled much more and her belly expanded more, but she never felt kicks until the very end of full term pregnancies.

Utterly absurd.

This person knew they were having sex they knew before 32 weeks they were pregant.

[Anonymous]

Millions isn't the same millions it used to be

Plenty of people have a million + tied up in lots off things, not the same thing as cash in the bank to spend

You have a $2m house? You don't have that money until you sell that house. In the meantime it needs repairs heating cooling yard work you are paying for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What type of 27 year old man doesn’t handle his business and take care of his family. Pathetic.

OP is doing the right thing to support the baby mama.

Oh sure. Handle his business then get divorced. Paying support is not the worst outcome for the kid. OP is choosing purported grandchild over actual son. That betrayal will not be forgotten. No matter if the alleged parents marry and are happy (which I doubt). The betrayal and lie about support no matter what will be there.

OP apparently scoped no matter what to include early stage abortion, marriage, co-parenting. Not lying about paternity, mentally questionable baby mama, no desire by son to spend life with her.

OP here

Are you actually OK, did you have a stroke or something?

I literally could not read this and make sense of whatever you were saying.

I just spoke to my son for like 45 mins. He was waiting for a therapy session at 2:30pm

He is 100% not OK but he also just got smacked in the back of the head by a timber beam 7 days ago

He thought he was looking at a 1st term then a 2nd term then a 7 month and then she went into labor and the baby was probably close to full term

All in 5 days

That's why his brother is flying in internationally this weekend.

And yes, that's why we give them allowances, exactly so they can do things like this

[Anonymous]

But still have $120k a year to put on kids' Amexes. Kewl.

Look, imo either the grandbaby mama is very damaged and had deep psychological denial....or she didn't really really NOT want to be pregnant.

Someone who really really doesn't want to be pregnant does not let months go by with spotting/irregular bleeding and no periods. Either you get the bleeding checked out...polyp? Cancer? Or do repeated pregnancy tests. At least call the obgyn that prescribed your "birth control pills."

Somebody who really really doesn't want to have a baby doesn't sit around for long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What type of 27 year old man doesn’t handle his business and take care of his family. Pathetic.

OP is doing the right thing to support the baby mama.

Oh sure. Handle his business then get divorced. Paying support is not the worst outcome for the kid. OP is choosing purported grandchild over actual son. That betrayal will not be forgotten. No matter if the alleged parents marry and are happy (which I doubt). The betrayal and lie about support no matter what will be there.

OP apparently scoped no matter what to include early stage abortion, marriage, co-parenting. Not lying about paternity, mentally questionable baby mama, no desire by son to spend life with her.

OP here

Are you actually OK, did you have a stroke or something?

I literally could not read this and make sense of whatever you were saying.

I just spoke to my son for like 45 mins. He was waiting for a therapy session at 2:30pm

He is 100% not OK but he also just got smacked in the back of the head by a timber beam 7 days ago

He thought he was looking at a 1st term then a 2nd term then a 7 month and then she went into labor and the baby was probably close to full term

All in 5 days

That's why his brother is flying in internationally this weekend.

And yes, that's why we give them allowances, exactly so they can do things like this

You said you told him you would support him no matter what. At least that's what you posted.

But apparently the scope of "no matter what" didn't include your not getting a grandparent experience out of it.

"No matter what" means putting your son first. Supporting what he wants.
Not deciding you are "team baby."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A baby surrendered for adoption goes to a home filled with love and with a person or people who have been longing for them. That's not a sad ending. It is the beginning of a happy story.

Open your mind.

The woman wants to keep her child, what part of that statement do you not comprehend PP. Are you saying it’s not HER choice? Who is to say this child is going to have an unhappy ending with his birth mom. Open your mind, besides OP has no say in whether that woman place the child up for adoption, or not. Not her decision.

The level of denial required to keep a crypto pregnancy a mystery until 32 weeks is not an indicator of an emotionally healthy person. Sure she wants to keep it. It's hers and she thinks it will make up for whatever was lacking in the foo she hasn't told. Or she planned it all along. Either way not a good partner. Or guaranteed good mom.

Crazy moms are crazymaking. Ask me how I know...

Eff you. Plenty of healthy people have cryptic pregnancies. My cousin is an RN and did not know she was pregnant until over 30 weeks. She has an unusually placed uterus and never once felt the fetus kick. She is slightly overweight and never looked pregnant. She also continued to bleed slightly through the pregnancy and since she was never regular before then, she didn’t notice any symptoms that would be concerning.

She and her husband were married and had no idea. Interestingly each of her 3 subsequent pregnancies she had more pronounced symptoms, like her boobs swelled much more and her belly expanded more, but she never felt kicks until the very end of full term pregnancies.

Utterly absurd.

This person knew they were having sex they knew before 32 weeks they were pregant.

The odds favor that. 1 in 475 pregnancies are undetected by 20 weeks. 1 in 2500 are undetected until labor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you are a great mother
I would be very concerned about the gf who didn’t take care of this earlier

OP here

from what I understand from my son she was on birth control pills ... not hormonal birth control

While his dad and I were both in grad school in boston, I terminated an unplanned pregnancy in late 1994 at the same Brookline (Boston) clinic where someone came in with guns a few weeks later and started shooting up the place. I visually remembered some of the staffers who were killed. We'd had to wade through a bunch of protesters outside who kept grabbing at our sleeves and said horrible things like

"You'll go to to hell for killing your baby"

"Murderers"

Just WTF where even are those people today? They were all old people

So I'm just saying I've done some things.

Inside, it was a normal surgical procedure. People were very kind. But they had to be behind security doors. No one wanted to be there.

NO one WANTS to be there

I'm still not in hell. I love my adult children and will support them in any ways they need.

That’s wild, OP. I also had an abortion a little earlier than you, in late fall of 1993, at the same clinic. I was devastated a year later when it was attacked. I also had my pregnancy confirmation and dating and had gotten birth control previously at the Planned Pregnancy on Beacon Street and I vividly remember the receptionist there who was murdered. She was only 25.

You are absolutely doing the right thing by supporting your grandson’s mother and providing help for the baby. You raised your son…he will come around. This is hard because it’s all a crazy shock and it’s all out of his control. But he will step up. Give it time.

I flew to New York to get a 6 week abortion in 1972. It was legal there. If that had not been an option I would have kil#ed myself. I can understand someone not wanting to be a parent no matter what and I don't think only women can feel that way.

Team Son. He can choose too. Whatever. But he can choose.

My mom did this in 1972 also. She flew to NY from Illinois.

My dad was telling her if she had the 5th baby he would tell everyone it was with her "boyfriend in Chicago" where she went to take voice lessons. (Spoiler: Her voice teacher was gay.)

She did get that termination, now my mom is in her late 80s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a mess! Whyy is the son receiving $3000 via Amex each month? I thought he had a job? Now, mom has started buying baby stuff even though the gf hasn't asked for anything. Mom should put down the Ativan and wait for a request from the parents.

OP here

The Amex allotments are our way of supporting our adult kids today, that's it

10K per month divided

They pay for car repairs emergencies groceries just daily living

We also don't do Christmas gift giving anymore, this is our permanent gift

We'd rather help our children today than make them wait until we die or something

It's not making them mega rich

I like this approach. Your kids also avoid the inheritance tax.

[Anonymous]

OP here

My ex (and son's dad and Kevin's grandfather) is an MD. He's the dragon guarding his lair filled with gold. Or something. He texted me this yesterday:

"Google the incidence off a cryptic pregnancy in the 8th month and google the odds of pregnancy on birth control pills. Do the math. I did"

"The chances of that happening randomly is .000004"

I texted back, "you also once also promised to love me until death and swore to me that HIV was going to kill off the planet and 30 years later here we are"

So shall we report Tiffany* to Jesus and God? Shall we just kill her for high crimes of not reporting her pregnancy accurately? Why as a medical professional who just took them to a comic con how did you not know?

Should we sue ******** for not teaching you to know all medical things about everyone?

* not her name

I mean WTF

[Anonymous]

OP WTF you mixed the KoolAid and drank it down.
Enjoy.

If she lied it will eventually come out.

You promised your son you would support him no matter what. Yet you jumped on Team Baby ( your term and you said you told his dad) far sooner than your ex broke his promise.

WTF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What type of 27 year old man doesn’t handle his business and take care of his family. Pathetic.

OP is doing the right thing to support the baby mama.

Oh sure. Handle his business then get divorced. Paying support is not the worst outcome for the kid. OP is choosing purported grandchild over actual son. That betrayal will not be forgotten. No matter if the alleged parents marry and are happy (which I doubt). The betrayal and lie about support no matter what will be there.

OP apparently scoped no matter what to include early stage abortion, marriage, co-parenting. Not lying about paternity, mentally questionable baby mama, no desire by son to spend life with her.

OP here

Are you actually OK, did you have a stroke or something?

I literally could not read this and make sense of whatever you were saying.

I just spoke to my son for like 45 mins. He was waiting for a therapy session at 2:30pm

He is 100% not OK but he also just got smacked in the back of the head by a timber beam 7 days ago

He thought he was looking at a 1st term then a 2nd term then a 7 month and then she went into labor and the baby was probably close to full term

All in 5 days

That's why his brother is flying in internationally this weekend.

And yes, that's why we give them allowances, exactly so they can do things like this

You said you told him you would support him no matter what. At least that's what you posted.

But apparently the scope of "no matter what" didn't include your not getting a grandparent experience out of it.

"No matter what" means putting your son first. Supporting what he wants.
Not deciding you are "team baby."

OP here

I am not team anything right now except I do have money

And I have no life. I can put money towards things.

I told my son when i talked to him today that I was putting money towards his girlfriend and the baby. I told him that she initially didn't put our last name on the baby's birth certificate but that before she left the hospital she probably should. It's the difference in this area between say, "Brown" or "Smith" and the last name of a cousin who owns a major car dealership where everyone knows the name.

She should use the name. Why not ???

I'm not "team baby" except for, as I told my son today, he has all the protections ... and this baby doesn't have any. This baby didn't do anything wrong, so while my son (my son) is figuring his stuff out ... babies don't wait, they aren't in limbo, they need everything, so I can do that.

I texted my ex last night "WHAT EXACTLY IS ALL THE MONEY FOR"

He is somehow in an episode of Game of Thrones or something he needs to protect his hoard OR SOMETHING

Against this girl in her 20s and her newborn

like I hate him sometimes

[Anonymous]

First, OP, I like your style. Your reply to your ex above is gold.

Second, your ex needs to talk to an OB. Cryptic pregnancies are not THAT rare. Nor are birth control failures. If she was on the pill she likely had very little periods at all or she might have taken a pill that kept her from menstruating entirely. The cryptic pregnancy makes a LOT more sense in this context.

So, yes, she could have been on the pill all along and might have taken an antibiotic 9 months ago for 10 days not realizing that it made the pill less effective, or lots of other similar reasons. When I was on the pill I didn’t have periods at all, just occasional spotting. So there’s how she didn’t have symptoms. The pill can also cause sore boobs and other pregnancy symptoms.

All it would take is a tilted uterus and/or an anterior placenta to prevent her feeling the fetus move. And if your son didn’t notice dramatic changes in her body, how would you expect her to? Honestly some of us are quite oblivious about our bodies; I feel very disconnected from mine regularly and it’s only when I look at unexpected photos that I see changes. If he couldn’t see a giant belly, surely she didn’t either.

Also, my son was 5.5 pounds at 34 weeks. So a 6 pound baby may well have still been premature.

I think it’s great that you empathize with your son who has been clobbered in the head with a 2x4. Now, if he could just get his head out of his ass to realize that the trauma and shock are 1000x greater for his GF. There was a BaBy growing inside her that just came OUT of her body. Thats effin freaky when you’ve only had less than a week to absorb the reality of the pregnancy’s existence. It’s literally the stuff of nightmares. And on top of this tsunami of physical and hormonal changes, her BF isn’t handling it well. I really feel for her.

Again, I commend you for supporting your son but not conflating “support” with abandonment of the gf and child. He can do what he chooses, but you can also have an independent relationship with Kevin and his mother and be supportive and kind to them while also being a good mom to your son. Welcoming Kevin with love doesn’t mean you are not loving your son.

[Anonymous]

Your ex is upset because he just became a grandpa.

And you know what a miracle it is to see your own newborn baby again if only for a short time.

My two boys' newborn pictures look like their dad's newborn picture so much that they could be triplets.

It's true this gf could be a piece of work but also true that a loving grandma can help a kid out and stabilize their life. Just please try to avoid pissing people in the family off right now. You really don't have to argue with them. If the mother keeps the baby, each person can choose their own 1:1 relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP WTF you mixed the KoolAid and drank it down.
Enjoy.

If she lied it will eventually come out.

You promised your son you would support him no matter what. Yet you jumped on Team Baby ( your term and you said you told his dad) far sooner than your ex broke his promise.

WTF.

You’re a real jerk, PP. Being emotional support for her son doesn’t have to mean that she goes along with icing out her own grandson. Absolutely not. They are two separate people. If he decides he doesn’t want to stay in a romantic relationship with gf, that doesn’t mean OP would be disloyal or unsupportive by providing material and emotional support for her grandson. The baby is here. “Support” doesn’t mean pretending the baby doesn’t exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://imgur.com/gallery/NWF0D63

Also, is this not considered proof of anything anymore

The good news is that Kevin (that’s his name, that’s her late father’s name) was probably not a pre-term infant.

My son was so nervous he didn’t know whether he was 4lbs 6oz (more normal for 33 weeks) or 6lbs 4oz .. he was probably closer to full term.

My son is not being cool

I tried to be cool with him all day but he left his gf at the hospital with her mother.

She’s going to keep the baby

I am going to have to be on her side, my son’s going to be pissed at me. Oh well

I told his dad. I have to be on that baby’s side.

I have never made this crazy a** week up

I also never probably would have never named him Kevin but OK lol there’s some humor here perhaps but who knows

What a week

"I have to be on her side"
"I told his dad. I have to be on that baby's side."

I am glad the young man's father is on his side.