What do you say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here

I’m an adoptive parent so I’m not denigrating anyone else’s experience.

However, there are no adoptive parents involved in my son’s situation. He’s a bio parent and so is his gf. No one’s adopting anyone … it was a thought before she went into labor.

But then it all unfolded and the mother of Kevin (aka my son’s girlfriend) got to make all the choices.

The baby exists and his mom has him. I have tried in the last 3 weeks of my only experience in this to support her. I’m not going for a hero award.

But I do hope I have a profound background of experience where I’m at the age where I’m definitely not buying a trip to Puerto Rico over supporting this traumatized new mom and helping give her supplies for this new baby that is my son’s child.

Like come on. What is the money for

It’s quite possible that the baby is not your sons or that there is some mental illness going on with the mother. She may be unfit and adoption should still be on the table. You are enabling dysfunction by being her financial support person.

There is absolutely no inkling whatsoever that adoption was EVER on the table. Shut up, you vulture. Stop rooting for someone’s family to be torn apart. You ghoul.

How would you know whether there was no inkling of adoption on the table? This is NOT a family. It’s a mentally ill mother who is no prepared to be a mother and a blindsided father. Their relationship is over. There is no coming back from a break of trust in something like this. Your son will rightfully never fully believe that she had no idea or never trust that she isn’t intellectually challenged. Their relationship presence of a boundary stomping grandma with delusional Norman Rockwell visions is not going to help things.

Adoption really is best for the baby in this situation. He could be adopted by a couple that is ready both emotionally and financially as well as thrilled to have a baby. Stop being selfish or at least leave them alone to deal with this.

You don’t get to decide for this family, nor define family. Kevin has a mom that loves him and a grandmother that has the means and willingness to provide support as needed. All of you who are painting Kevin’s dad as a victim are way off base. He was intimate with this woman throughout the cryptic pregnancy and he didn’t notice anything either! Furthermore, he’s a 27 year old man and knows how conception occurs. There’s always a chance birth control will fail. He shouldn’t be protected from paying child support. Why would anyone want their innocent grandchild to suffer.

Is this OP?
If not how do you know? Other granny? Crazy baby mama?

Nobody said the actual father should not pay support. If the son is, well pay. But there is no law requiring him to move in, marry Ms Crypic, etc. But really, if you were missionary with a woman with. 6 pound baby you must notice she was a bit bloated, lol.
Personally even if Ms Cryptic was for a while, I think she knew before she told OP and maybe held off to further enmesh him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The $hit show isn't over.
The young mother who delivered this surprise is someone everyone should be wary of.

This and where does it say a paternity test was done? Op just wants this kid. Good thing her son has his daddy to make sure that test is done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I got a text message I didn’t see for 2 hours. Please Please Mom call me. 3pm. I called back 2x but apparently Verizon was down in our area for a little while. I even texted his dad (my ex) saying what’s the emergency I can’t get through. Never heard back from the ex.

Son called back at 8pm and told me the story. They had the Planned Parenthood appointment today.

Regardless of the story I just told him, she has all the choices. Welcome to adulthood. Women don’t have the choice when they have to bleed every month with pain and carry pregnancies and give birth and breastfeed, and you have had your choices all along.

I said:

“OK, so this is where you grow up. It’s not the end of the world, this is no one’s first rodeo. This has happened throughout history. You have a good support system whatever she chooses - but it’s not your choice because you’re not the one who gets to make the choice now, and she has many choices that no longer involve you.

She can terminate the pregnancy. She can deliver the baby and give it up for adoption. She can have the baby and keep it and you’ll have to pay child support for up to 22 years. It’s no longer your choice. Your choice was to have sex.”

The thing is, they don’t know how far along she is. He did ask how hard is it to give a baby up for adoption. I said, “it’s very easy legally to give a newborn up for adoption. But it’s very hard emotionally, traumatic, actually, and you will have to live with that for the rest of your life. You will never forget it. And it’s even worse on (his girlfriend’s name)”

“We are a support system for you always. But I can’t solve this one for you. I can’t show up at the appointment for you. I can’t have any opinion. I can’t have any input. That’s what being an adult means, your mom and dad can’t do anything today, you are the adult today.”

That’s all I had. He asked me not to tell anyone, including his dad, of course I would not do that.

I think I just told him, “things will be OK no matter what you decide, I can’t promise that they will you ever be the same, but this is not a new thing and for centuries people have found ways around it. Whatever decision you both make will be OK in the end.”

If this were a troll, it would be one of the longest. I had to finally go back and read this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It was a cryptic pregnancy, people.

Read up on it. There are women with irregular cycles who cannot know they are pregnant the normal way. At-home urine tests come up negative if done past two months of pregnancy, because there is too much HCG for it to turn positive. Some women bleed a little during their pregnancies, and might mistake that for a period. Some women, particularly overweight ones, don't show very much until the last minute, if it's their first pregnancy.

In short, yes, it happens.

Hey I am OP Saturday Feb 21

You helped my whole family out. Thank you for real

[Anonymous]

There was some comment here in the last month which suddenly came back to me.

It was like “how can you tell that a newborn looks exactly like your adult child”

And I was trying hard to think about at what other time in my entire life that I was left alone to bond with a newborn, breastfeed, have my entire outside life re-engineered to leave myself with only this one little face

Yes, I would know it again immediately

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was a cryptic pregnancy, people.

Read up on it. There are women with irregular cycles who cannot know they are pregnant the normal way. At-home urine tests come up negative if done past two months of pregnancy, because there is too much HCG for it to turn positive. Some women bleed a little during their pregnancies, and might mistake that for a period. Some women, particularly overweight ones, don't show very much until the last minute, if it's their first pregnancy.

In short, yes, it happens.

Hey I am OP Saturday Feb 21

You helped my whole family out. Thank you for real

Hey OP I have a great deal for you! The Brooklyn Bridge is for sale for only a few thousand dollars. Just wire the money and it’s yours!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was a cryptic pregnancy, people.

Read up on it. There are women with irregular cycles who cannot know they are pregnant the normal way. At-home urine tests come up negative if done past two months of pregnancy, because there is too much HCG for it to turn positive. Some women bleed a little during their pregnancies, and might mistake that for a period. Some women, particularly overweight ones, don't show very much until the last minute, if it's their first pregnancy.

In short, yes, it happens.

Hey I am OP Saturday Feb 21

You helped my whole family out. Thank you for real

Hey OP I have a great deal for you! The Brooklyn Bridge is for sale for only a few thousand dollars. Just wire the money and it’s yours!

How old is the troll factory you are working in?

My Russian niece says she only has access to post, not to look anything up on search engines.

No one was ever selling the entire Brooklyn Bridge. A con artist in the early 20th century sold "shares" in the Brooklyn Bridge project to unsuspecting immigrants with limited English who didn't understand what was going on.

I'm not buying a bridge. My son's girlfriend had a baby with almost zero notice to anyone. No one knew. I bought baby stuff and did sent her a 1K check and then I backed off because it's now my son's game of life. He can invite me back in, but right now, it's his living room.

There's no mass con game going on, and what a shame if it were. But this is only for the support of one baby. That's not a get rich quick scheme.

It's just not, particularly considering the work going into having a baby and the 24 hour effort without a helping spouse

2026 has not been spectacular so far, and now where I live another up to 24" of snow is about to come down on the already 6-7 foot drifts

I'm glad I got all those supplies to her for the baby, I will defend that

[Anonymous]

I didn't find what was said about the name on the birth certificate, but in my state if parents are unmarried the mom is not allowed to put any last name other than her own. At least that was the case about 10 yeas ago.

Longtime friend of mine had a cryptic pregnancy. On bc, spotted through the pregnancy, wore a bikini the day before she went to the ER with pain and ended up delivering a full term baby. She was engaged but that didn't last long after the baby appeared. Her uterus was tipped, she mostly had very bad back pain that had sent her to the ER. She was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder, whether that was a factor in her not being aware of the pregnancy I cannot say (didn't know her at the time). The dad turned out to be abusive but ended up with custody due to her mental health issues, the daughter is grown up and successful and happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't find what was said about the name on the birth certificate, but in my state if parents are unmarried the mom is not allowed to put any last name other than her own. At least that was the case about 10 yeas ago.

Longtime friend of mine had a cryptic pregnancy. On bc, spotted through the pregnancy, wore a bikini the day before she went to the ER with pain and ended up delivering a full term baby. She was engaged but that didn't last long after the baby appeared. Her uterus was tipped, she mostly had very bad back pain that had sent her to the ER. She was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder, whether that was a factor in her not being aware of the pregnancy I cannot say (didn't know her at the time). The dad turned out to be abusive but ended up with custody due to her mental health issues, the daughter is grown up and successful and happy.

You are correct, you can't just automatically attribute paternity to anyone just by putting their name and information down on a birth certificate.

They request ID and signature upon release from the hospital.

You can, though, name your baby anything you want to. But naming your baby Timothy Challamet Holland (?) doesn't make them the fathers. The father has to sign and validate in the hospital with ID or you have to go through court to establish paternity. (that's not hard, though, it's like showing up for jury duty)

[Anonymous]

OP, I’m rooting for you to meet your grandson soon. Does he live nearby? I don’t understand why your son is putting up this huge wall.

[Anonymous]

Hey try to keep up the baby mama and kid are moving into her house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hey try to keep up the baby mama and kid are moving into her house.

Where is this posted?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey try to keep up the baby mama and kid are moving into her house.

Where is this posted?

I haven’t seen this anywhere in this original thread of her one in the Expectant/Postpartum moms forum. Is this true, OP? We want updates!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey try to keep up the baby mama and kid are moving into her house.

Where is this posted?

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1315722.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey try to keep up the baby mama and kid are moving into her house.

Where is this posted?

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1315722.page

🙏🏻 thank you